Who needs Sex Ed more? Parents or students (preteens or teens)? From Abstinence Only to Comprehensive Sex Ed, Sex Ed has various meanings and belief systems attached to the concept depending on your community, upbringing, school system, government, and many more variables.
While many towns and cities around the country debate how and if “Sex Ed” should be handled IN the school, WHO needs “Sex Ed” becomes an interesting question. This past summer in an article that didn’t capture the media’s attention, a college student stated he thought PARENTS need Sex Ed today.
As I travel the world speaking with parents, many Moms and Dads share real stories of how naive their fellow parents are when it comes to dating and sexual activity among their pre-teen and teenager sons and daughters. Parents constantly share how everyone wants to believe, “Not my child.”
For parents who do believe in discussing Sex Ed at home, some if not many often don’t know HOW to talk about the issue – besides trying to scare their child away from intimacy. When you share with parents about a sexual fad taking place among school age children, many Moms and Dads look at you with disbelief. Sometimes, you even hear someone say, “I’m 45 years old and have never tried that – and never would.” Their children are thinking and sometimes acting beyond their parent’s imagination.
What do you think? Do today’s parents need Sex Education? What do you think parents need to learn and/or discover? Since many people say, “That is a subject which should be taught at home,” is home the ONLY right place for teaching “Sex Ed”? Would teaching both AT HOME and AT SCHOOL be more effective or less? Do most parents at home have the right information for teaching the subject matter? If you think parents do need Sex Ed, how would you recommend providing the education and actually getting parents to attend?
Share your thoughts and ideas in the COMMENTS section below.
I think parents are too shy of having discussions on intimacy. I think it takes more than a one time “when people love each other”. There is enough media out there now that we can be having regular chats with our children about emotionally safe sex as well as literally.
Twilight, for instance, would open up a massive discussion on what is healthy behaviour in a relationship, defining boundaries and self respect; mostly because it’s a how-not-to guide on relationships but it is still a way of integratin teen culture Ito what you want to express so that they can relate. Don’t be afraid to ask questions about what they think.
I think in modern society we have gone way past being able to rely in the lack lustre approach most schools take to educate our children. How can we teach abstinence when teens are surrounded by sexual images and attitudes. A lot of people still sexualise teens. I think teaching solely abstinence will just alienate us further from them. How about we aim for abstinence by teaching them self worth..so they decide for themselves when is right and they will feel able to resist peer pressure. And if they do have sex let them know they can discuss it with us…after all we at the best ones to teach. Sex s the only life experience we don’t pass down and we are failing our kids by keeping quiet. It might be uncomfortable at first bu it’s better that than them learning from some sexist mag or from porn what sex is “supposed” to be like.
When we take control of the open dialog we have an opportunity to prevent abuse and that trumps any initial discomfort in my opinion
Thanks for sharing some great points, Tara. What do you think is the best way to ENGAGE parents – to get them to show up on this issue?
There is the toughie!
It’s difficult to get through the denial that parents have that they know their children better than anyone. Or the belief that “sensible” children wouldn’t do things that we as adults view insensible. Maybe the first step is to educate parents on teens at all.
All teens keep secrets; it’s natural developmental stage in life. Teens do not have a large amount of reasoning skills but plenty of risk taking. They work on a highly emotional basis so are really vulnerable to the peer pressure and general messages from society. They are vulnerable from insecurities and so they need as much tlc as a baby would to reassure them of their place in the world. And so on. When you start to view them as teens and not young adults- and I don’t think it’s patronising to say so because they are not mini complete versions of adults – I think if we do that we might feel more of an urge to engage and educate.
Also to remember that living with a person doesnt mean we know them inside out. We need to foster communication on all levels.
And maybe some realistic material for parents on how a “sensible” child ends up with a baby or in a relationship with an abuser. Too often we see the child portrayed as meek and so desperate for love…parents aren’t going to connect that to their own children. Maybe some education on how behaviour is different in the home than elsewhere. A child that seems opinionated with strongly held sel esteem at home may be the opposite outside in a less safe or established environment.