Do you wish dating wasn’t so hard – or hurtful? Below is a list of ten helpful tips for having dates based upon mutual respect, fun and possibility. The title said, “5” fun keys. I like to surpass your expectations and so you get 10 (wouldn’t dating be more fun if dates surpassed expectations)?
No Dating Games
You constantly hear people talking about being in the “dating game,” yet they fail to realize games pit people against each other. Games aim to have a winner and a loser. Healthy dating requires a mutual success story. Therefore, eliminate all games, tactics and strategies. Simply go out and get to know your date better.
Plan Sunlight Dates
Go out during the day – something new and different! Go on a picnic. Go bowling. Pick an activity that will most likely encourage laughter. It’s much easier to be yourself in the day, than having to be this incredibly “romantic” individual in the evening. Afternoon dating also takes away the pressure of instant intimacy.
No Pity for You
Only date people you truly want to date and can trust. Accepting a date because you feel “sorry” for someone is disrespectful and uncaring. Why? You are being misleading another person and raising someone’s hopes. To turn down a date, say, “Thank you for asking. While I am very honored you asked, I don’t feel a connection between us.”
Stick to the Standards
Before you go on a date with someone new, write down your “dating standards.” For example, you might include on your list: I don’t want to be kissed unless I am asked. Unfortunately, many people make the mistake of lowering their standards in order to “win” over their date. If you are going to lose someone because you are determined to maintain high personal standards, then lose that person! You deserve to be with someone who respects you for being you. Whether the date is going badly or well, stick to your standards.
Only Listen to You
Friends love to tell friends what to do. Sometimes, they encourage risky and dangerous behaviors, or brag about things they really haven’t done in an effort to make themselves sound better. Above all, listen to your instincts.
Ask First and Answer Honestly
Before you even think about becoming intimate on a date, ask if your partner agrees. If your partner asks for intimacy, be honest. You never owe your partner anything you don’t want to share, especially something as precious and sacred as intimate acts of love and/or sexual activity. If you are asked and are not comfortable, say, “That is so cool that you asked. My answer is no because that is not what I want right now.” Be clear.
Remember it Takes Two to Tango
Dating is a partnership based upon mutual respect. Regardless of how different your date’s beliefs might be from yours, remember that he or she is a person. Avoid criticizing, interrupting and dismissing the other person. Hear them out. Talk about your differences. Learn from the exchange. You may just be misunderstanding each other. If you clearly understand your differences and still are not interested in the other person, make it a respectful last date!
Don’t Alter your Judgment
Avoid alcohol and drugs – especially on dates! Any substance that can impair your judgment and decision making can be extremely dangerous. If your partner is trying to pressure you into drinking, take notice! This pressure should be a warning sign of possible disrespect, carelessness, and trouble. You should end this date early!
Listen, Listen, Listen
Be careful about disclosing your entire life history, including previous relationship failures. Ask open ended questions designed to get to know the other person. For example, “Tell me about your greatest travel adventure,” and then listen attentively. Don’t interrupt or start sharing your greatest travel adventure! Everyone likes to be heard.
Talk, Talk, Talk
As you plan a date, involve your partner. Give a few of your ideas and then ask which is most appealing to him or her. By discussing how you will be spending your time together early on, you demonstrate the significance you place on equality in a relationship.
Dating should be fun and leave you feeling better about yourself – not worse. Start putting into practice one or all of the above ten tips for successful dating and you may find yourself meeting wonderful people and having great fun in your new relationships!
