Featured Survivor: Dayna Freund

What Schools, Communities and/or Organizations are you involved with (past or present)?
• University of Wisconsin – Milwaukee
Masters of Science in Educational Psychology – Community Counseling
Bachelors of Science in Women’s Studies and Communication, certificate in LGBT studies
• Counselor, The Healing Center
Counsel survivors of sexual assault
• Project Assistant, University of Wisconsin – Milwaukee (UWM) Women’s Resource Center
Develop programming, advocacy and resources for students, particularly around sexual/relationship violence
• Volunteer Advocate, Sexual Assault Treatment Center of Greater Milwaukee
Provide support for survivors during the police and medical examination
• Group Facilitator, Pathfinders (formally known as The Counseling Center of Milwaukee)
Co-facilitated support groups with women around depression and LGBT identity
• Volunteer educator, The Girl Scouts of Milwaukee Area
Provided education for scouts about sexual assault and self-esteem
• Volunteer, 9to5
Lobbied at the capital for the Paid Sick Days campaign and covering sexual assault/domestic violence under ordinance
• Operations Assistant, UWM Housing
Developed program for employees around appropriate work behavior working and eliminating current sexual harassment
• President, UWM Counseling Student Organization
• American Psychological Association
Presented a poster presentation at conference around EMDR with survivors of sexual assault

How did you get started with the work you do?
Personal experience influenced me to get involved in the movement, and change the way systems work with survivors of sexual assault. I truly believe what happens to you personally influences you to do something politically!

What do you love about your work?
Giving survivors and their support systems validation for what they’re going through, and helping them along their healing journey. Nothings more rewarding than a smile or tear of joy when someone realizes they’re not alone, and their reactions/feelings are common.

What are your goals?
One of my goals is to research individuals who’ve experienced complex, prolonged sexual assault and see common trends within their behaviors. Since there’s no diagnostic criterion for complex trauma (PTSD) in the DSM-IV, these individuals often get misdiagnosed or labeled with personality disorders.

What is the biggest change you would love to see?
Bring more awareness about sexual/relationship violence on campuses and within the community. There’s a need for more education and justice for individuals that experience this violence. In an ideal world, this would be possible if universities, judicial, community and campus resources link and work together more to provide the best support for these individuals.

What is your favorite book and why?
One of my favorite books is “Lucky” by Alice Sebold. Her story shows the struggle and pain survivors endure with their assault and legal, family and community systems. The story also illustrates the strength survivors have to work/cope with their assault and others’ reactions. I feel the book validates common feelings, thoughts and experiences for survivors

Please provide a fun fact about you others might not know:
Once I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) I want to work with survivors in India or Africa.

Featured Survivor: Lynn Tolson

Involvements/Organizations
Co-Founder: Finding Our Voices: Healing Art Activities for Survivors of Sexual Assault

Domestic Violence Emergency Response Team
Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Victim Advocate
Court Appointed Special Advocate, Pike’s Peak Region
Depression, Bi-Polar Support Alliance (group facilitator)
Women’s Resource Center (group facilitator)
Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (Speaker’s Bureau)
Sexual Assault and Suicide Attempts (interview)
Sexual Assault as an Antecedent to Suicide (presentation)
Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault
Pass the Power Adult Literacy Tutor, Saint Joseph, MO
Colorado Springs “Breaking the Silence” DVD, Colorado Springs, CO
Bachelor’s of Social Work, Missouri Western State University, Saint Joseph, MO

Author: Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor’s Story
Listed at National Sexual Violence Resource Center Library
Required reading: Towson University, Criminal Justice


What helped you most through the process of being a strong survivor?
Counseling helped me through the process. I never would have found healing without the compassionate communication with two special therapists at two different times; coincidentally, both are named “Karen.” I’ve also been inspired by the support to survivors via the internet. Even as recently as five years ago, there was no discussion of sexual assault other than in the confines of counseling. Now, support services are readily available. I’ve also used art to gain strength. I learned that I did not have to be an artist with a fully formed product. Art therapy served as healing process. For me, the foundation for strength as a survivor is in therapy.

What are your goals?
My goals have a back-story: When I was in my twenties, my therapist told me I had a story of hope to tell, and that I should write it. She knew only half of it! At the time, there were few, if any, books about surviving drug and alcohol abuse, and suicide attempts. I was a real estate agent and every day I felt unfulfilled, as if I was not living my truth. In my forties, the truth came to me in a drawing. I was sketching sunflowers when my hand wrote, “My brother molested me.” When I acknowledged the phrase within the shape, I rewrote it: “I was molested by my brother.” At the time, the words that reflect the acts, such as incest, rape, sexual assault, child abuse, sexual abuse, were way too scary. At age forty-three, I was telling my self for the first time. I entered therapy again, and disclosed the experiences of sexual assault by my father and brother. I learned how the drug and alcohol abuse, as well as suicide attempts, were related to sexual abuse. I was becoming an agent of change for my self. My second counselor, two decades from the first therapist, told me I had a story of healing to share. However, I was not going to use those terrible words or put my experiences in writing.

I went back to college to earn a degree in social work. I wanted knowledge about the dynamics that perpetuate sexual violence in our society. Then, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age forty-eight. The doctors said that if I did nothing about the cancer, I would have six months to seek treatment that might be effective. While enduring chemo “therapy” and multiple surgeries, I wrote my story and decided to publish it, even if it’s “the last thing I do.” The irony is that two decades earlier I was taking my life, then I was fighting for my life! When one person tells me that my story has helped him or her, I finally feel fulfilled.

Now my goals are to use my story to be an agent of change in society. I have started the Project for TEARS: Telling Everyone About Rape & Suicide.

The mission is to:

• Comfort victims by sharing my story
• Confront violence by breaking the silence
• Challenge society via information & action

My goal is to establish this project as a non-profit that reaches a wide audience.

On February 15, 2010, I gave personal testimony to Colorado State Senators related to an amendment to a bill about child abuse. I was able to represent the survivors who cannot speak of crimes until later in life. I used those awful words, and put a face to them. My goal is to continue to speak out with more courage and confidence.

What is your favorite book and why?
My favorite books are those that literally changed my life: The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis and The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron.

What is your favorite movie?
My favorite movie is a music video: We Are the World 25. It’s great how the producers incorporated updated music and a documentary on Haiti. I’m old enough to have seen the initial airing of We Are the World, which was produced as an AIDS benefit in 1985.

What is a fun fact?
Fashionista! Out of the flannel and into the silk! Out of the sweats and on with the shimmer! Clothe me in bohemian-chic! Adorn me with rock-star sequins and beads! Wrap me in scarves, top me with hats, circle me in bracelets and rings!

“Can I Kiss You?” and Mike Domitrz raise funds for 871 survivors!

The Date Safe Project, Inc and Mike Domitrz were just honored to receive notice from RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) that our auction of the “Can I Kiss You?” program (and Mike Domitrz providing 2 extra presentations) was so successful that 871 more sexual assault survivors will now be able to receive support from RAINN!!

A big THANKS goes out to all the bidders for helping a great cause.  You receive a copy of Voices of Courage: Inspiration from Survivors of Sexual Assault for making a bid to this auction.  Everyone at RAINN and here at The Date Safe Project, Inc is grateful for your generosity!

Sign the Pledge for Action Today!

The Pledge for Action is a powerful agreement students, families, military members, educators, and individuals sign to pledge that they will do their best to help their family, friends and peers in potentially dangerous moments concerning alcohol, drugs, and sexual assault.

How it works? First, read the pledge below. After reading the pledge, you will find instructions for signing the Pledge online right now AND for how to use the Pledge in your community and/or school.

PLEDGE FOR ACTION^RM

I, ____________________________________________, pledge to do my best to help my family, friends, and peers in potentially dangerous situations in which drugs, alcohol, a violent person, or other threats to their safety and well-being are present. I will do this by having the focus and self-control necessary to remain aware of my surroundings, the wisdom to identify dangerous situations, and the courage to take action in confronting my friends when their judgment is impaired.

I recognize that these dangerous situations may arise at times when people feel safe and comfortable, such as at bars, parties (especially when alcohol is influencing the situation and a person is trying to “hook up” with another individual), or in the context of a romantic relationship. I realize that it may not always be easy to help people from harm in these situations, but by remaining watchful and showing care and concern, I may help to prevent a sexual assault from occurring.

I understand that the ONLY person responsible for a sexual assault is the person who engages in sexual contact without the consent of the other person. Through my own positive words, actions, and beliefs, I am taking the responsibility of helping to end sexual assault. I will share with people the importance of consent and the need to obtain consent with your partner by Asking First. I will treat all survivors of sexual assault with my respect and admiration. I will inform all of my family, friends, and peers that “If anyone ever has or ever does sexually touch you without your consent, I will fully support you. I will always be here for you. Always (from simply listening to helping you seek the proper support from professionals)!” During the next 24 hours, I will start putting this pledge into action by saying these words to at least 3 people.

Sexual assault is a horrific and traumatic crime. My active commitment to this project will help reduce the violence in my community and create a safer atmosphere for everyone.

How do you use the Pledge for Action?    Start by signing the pledge online right now (scroll down to see the online pledge). Below where it reads “SIGN THE PLEDGE ONLINE,” fill out the blank boxes and click on “Sign the Petition.”  You will be forwarded to a page confirming you signed the pledge.  Plus, you will instantly receive an email which has a link YOU MUST click on – this link confirms YOU are the person signing the Pledge (avoids SPAM and misuse).   Your name is not able to be added to the Pledge until you click on the link in the email. Once you complete this process, you will be able to return to this page and see your name added to the list!

For use in your community and/or school, each individual signs two copies of the agreement which you can download with the link provided below.  The first page of the download is the complete pledge which is given to each individual to take home and the second  page is a condensed version with The Date Safe Project, Inc. heart.  Have everyone SIGN across the heart and leave that smaller version with you.  Then at a later date, post all the signed hearts in specific locations around school and/or in your community.  By placing all the signed hearts around school and in town, students and the entire community will realize how many people DO care about this issue and are committed to helping others!

DOWNLOAD the 2 page PLEDGE FOR ACTION^RM to utilize in your community!

SIGN THE PLEDGE ONLINE

Featured Survivor: Anne Katherine Dunham

School: St. Lawrence University

Involvements:

• Member of Omnicron Delta Kappa
• Member of Psi Chi
• Dance Ensemble Secretary & Treasurer
• Swing Dance Club Co-President
• Advocate against Sexual Violence
• Advocates Program AWARE Training Co-Coordinator
• Member of International House
• Volunteer at Renewal House (local domestic violence shelter)
• Go Beyond Director (Spring 2009)
• Horseback Riding Lessons (local and on campus)
• Contributor to The Purple Ribbon: The Advocate’s Program Newsletter
• SLU Buddies (Fall 2007-Fall 2008)

What you LOVE about your work as a student leader: The thing I love most about working to end violence against women is that I know I am making a difference, even if it is only in my little corner of the world. I can see it in how people change their behavior and I have experienced it when I reached out to an Advocate for help when I was sexually assaulted. So each time I speak to a survivor directly or I train new Advocates or we put on a show to spread awareness, I know that I have helped someone to heal or opened someone’s eyes. My hope is that they will share what they have learned or been given and violence prevention and awareness will spread beyond my reach.

The reason Anne was nominated: When our director took leave last Spring, I stepped up to take over some of her duties on top of the position I already held: AWARE Training Co-Coordinator. I did this for the same reason that I love working to end sexual violence – I know I can make a difference. The Advocates Program is very important to me because we are a key part of the healing and the education process surrounding sexual violence. I was sexually assaulted as a freshman and was grateful to be able to turn the the Advocates Program; The support I received helped me to do a great deal of healing and taught me how to help others. If this program did not exist or was left unattended, many individuals would not be able to get the help they need. I want survivors to always know that the door is open, keeping the Advocate’s Program alive without a director was the best way I knew how to do this.

What are your goals? My general goals with the Advocates Program are first and foremost to continue to provide safe, supportive advocacy for survivors of sexual violence. Also, I want to continue to educate students and faculty alike at SLU so that they may pass on the knowledge we have given them and work towards ending sexual violence. Thirdly, I think it is important to correct the language that we use and practice non-offensive speech; too often sexually violent terms are used loosely or in jokes which can be very damaging to survivors, I would like to transform our culture into one which does not find sexual violence amusing. My personal goal is to work with high school or college students as the director of a program so I can work to spread my passion and my ideas.

Favorite Movie: ‘Pay it Forward’

Food I Dread: Clams (they always leave sand in my teeth)

Favorite Place I’ve Visited: Vienna, Austria

What Would Be Your Superher Name? Serendipity

Northwest Missouri State Makes a Statement

Northwest Missouri State University just made a powerful statement. Over 750 incoming students wanted to do a serious video to spread online. Please help them move this video through FaceBook, YouTube, and Twitter – any means you can think of. Here is the video:

Forums to Share & Discover Together

Click here to begin sharing with others and discovering helpful ideas from others.

Voices of Courage (Book and CDs)

From tragedy to triumph, inspiring lessons unfold in this one-of-a-kind book by twelve survivors of sexual assault. An eye-opening journal of personal growth and recovery, Voices of Courage will forever change your perspective on life after a sexual assault. Each chapter Is written by a different survivor of sexual assault.

Professionals, survivors, family members, educators, educational institutions, and the military use the stories throughout Voices of Courage to connect with both the devastation of assault and the strength inside every survivor. You will be go from hard-hitting emotion to moments of a survivor making you smile.

Take yourself and others you know on this empowering journey!

The Date Safe Project 30 DAY GUARANTEE & FREE SHIPPING
is included with ALL orders.

Paperback Book, E-book & 4 CD Set Special $27.95

Paperback Book only $16.95

E-book (pdf) AND AUDIOBOOK with 26 tracks: ALL for FREE

All profits go to organizations committed to increasing awareness of the issues surrounding sexual assault.

Inside Voices of Courage

Each chapter is written by 12 survivors of sexual assault sharing their personal story of survival told in his or her own words. Whether you are reading the book or listening to the survivors on the CDs, you will quickly notice the survivors in this book represent a truly inclusive group of individuals, including males and females, sexual orientations, race, lifestyles, and geographical locations. The sexual assaults discussed in this book range from child molestation, incest, clergy abuse, “date rape drug” facilitated, acquaintance rape, marital rape, and stranger attack to other forms of sexual assault.

Unlike most books on sexual assault that mainly focus on the horror of rape, Voices of Courage reveals the determination and strength that surviving sexual assault brings to many survivors’ lives. You will be uplifted and inspired by the amazing strength these 12 role models live with on a daily basis.

Excerpts from Each Chapter:

“I have found healing in the process. For every time I tell my story, it loses a little bit of its hold on me.” Linda, Survivor of Rape by a Serial Rapist

“Tears that aren’t shed, return to the soul and remain. Today, I release those tears. I get lighter all the time.” Shirley, Survivor of Incest

“When I talk with students about sexual assault, I tell them that men can be sexually assaulted and that if they hadn’t ever known of a male survivor, they do now.” Ben, Survivor of Rape Induced by Date Rape Drugs

“I still get excited about the little things in life, like I did before you hurt me.”
Caroline, Survivor of Acquaintance Rape

“Survivors of sexual assault can and must be heard — through poetry, art, music or public speaking.” Karen, Survivor of Spousal Rape

“That is why I became an advocate. This is my fight. I have been featured on television shows and radio shows for one purpose: to stop violence against the vulnerable.” Donna, Survivor of Multiple Rapes including Clergy Abuse

“My rape added another dimension to my existence, but it has not replaced all the others, it does not define who I am. I want people to know that I am a regular young woman with a normal life and great expectations.” Adrienne, Survivor Drug-Facilitated Gang Rape

“I was tired of feeling sorry for myself and was ready to use my experience to help others.” Juliette, Survivor of Acquaintance Rape

“To face that depth of despair is to enter a deep, dark, frightening chasm. But it’s worth it, for when we emerge, it is into a place of light and calm. The result of surviving that dark place is an amazing strength.” Barb, Survivor of Rape

“I feel whole again.” Gabriel, Survivor of Child Molestation

“I am a rape survivor, but there is more to ‘survival’ than simply coming out of the attack alive. Survival is a process that molds you into the person that you will become. I am very proud of who I am, and I owe so much of that to my family and friends.” Cheri, Survivor of Rape by Stranger Attack

“I knew that I couldn’t change what had happened to me, only how I would deal with it.” Angela, Survivor of Acquaintance Rape

Survivors CD Set

This Voices of Courage 4 CD Set is a defining example of why the voices of sexual assault survivors need be heard throughout our society. This wonderful CD set helps remove the “silence” from sexual assault. You can download all the audio tracks for FREE below.

On the audio CDs and the downloadable audio tracks of Voices of Courage, listeners will hear each survivor from the book read his or her own chapters. Plus, you will get to listen to interviews of the survivors discussing the process of sharing their personal experiences with others. Hearing the actual voices of the survivors sharing their innermost thoughts and memories is a truly moving experience for all listeners.

Paperback Book, E-book & 4 CD Set Special $27.95

Paperback Book only $16.95

E-book (pdf) AND AUDIOBOOK with 26 tracks: ALL for FREE

Since all of the recording for this set was done via the telephone, the sound quality may vary on the CDs. However, the impact of listening to the survivors read their chapters is priceless.

Reviews

Every two minutes in America, someone is the victim of rape or sexual assault. In this informative and emphatic book, we are faced with the tragedy and triumph of victims of this violent crime. Voices of Courage can help us all better understand the trauma that victims experience and ways to help them survive and thrive after the crime.”
Scott Berkowitz,President and Founder, RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)

A wonderful collection of diverse victims stories, told crisply and directly, and each with a different message. Many voices speaking through poetry, journals, and stark description of terrible experiences… but more important, recovery from them. In these terrible experiences, honestly told, lies a hidden grace – that of coming to new understandings and finding directions for recovery.
Gary Schoener, Psychologist, Author & Expert on Sexual Violence by Professionals

It doesn’t get any more real than this! Voices of Courage tells the stories of victims who have endured the ultimate betrayal to their bodies, minds, and spirits and through the process have moved on to become courageous survivors.
Joyce Arends, MSW, LICSW, New Horizons Crisis Center

Voices of Courage is without question the best book on the market to help others feel on a visceral level what it might feel like to be a survivor. Each chapter is written from the depths of the heart of a survivor who opens her or his world to the reader with a story of pain that ends in hope for recovery and change in a world dominated by rape culture. I was so moved by this book and by the accompanying CDs that I made it required reading for people I train about sexual assault. I play the CDs to keep my employees in One in Four focused on our mission — to end rape. Mike Domitrz has pieced together an outstanding volume of survivor stories that will long be help up as the gold standard in our field. Thank you Mike, and moreover, thank you to the courageous survivors who shared their stories with us throughout this unique volume.
John D. Foubert, Ph.D., Founder of One in Four

Click here to read more reviews

Profits Donated — You Are Making A Difference

Crisis centers, coalitions, schools, and organizations throughout the world continue to need the financial assistance of individuals and private organizations to help fund essential programs and initiatives.

By purchasing Voices of Courage, you will be helping efforts to make a difference. All profits from the sale of this book will be donated to organizations which work to raise awareness, educate society, and support survivors of sexual assault. A professional advisory council has been selected by the The Date Safe Project to choose those organizations that will receive the profits from this book.

In addition to the contribution you make in buying Voices of Courage, you can continue to give financial and human resources to the organizations listed on the Resource page. Your giving of time or money can help reduce the occurrences of sexual assault while, at the same time, supporting survivors of this horrific crime.

Paperback Book, E-book & 4 CD Set Special $27.95

Paperback Book only $16.95

E-book (pdf) AND AUDIOBOOK with 26 tracks: ALL for FREE

Media Room

Media Inquiries
Contact Rita Hookstead Toll Free (800) 329-9390
E-mail: media@voicesofcourage.com

The majority of the sexual assault survivors in this book are happy to accommodate requests for media interviews, appearances, and book signings. Best of all, the combination of their diverse and powerful personalities will WOW your audience!

Many of the survivors in Voices of Courage have extensive, prior experience with appearing in print, on radio and TV (including CNN and the “Catherine Crier Show”), and speaking before Congress. If you are interested, you can have several of the survivors appear together in the same interview/show.

Now is the ideal time setup an interview with these incredible survivors. E-mail us at
media@voicesofcourage.com as quickly as possible to schedule an interview with an individual survivor or with a group of the survivors from Voices of Courage. You can download the entire press packet below. If you are looking to setup an interview immediately (need a guest for a show today or an upcoming date), call Mike Domitrz toll free (800) 329-9390.

Press Packet:
General Media Release for Voices of Courage
Meet the Survivors in Voices of Courage
Great Questions For Interviewing Survivors in Voices of Courage
Voices of Courage Entire Book Cover
Voices of Courage Front & Side Book Cover

About the Editor

Mike Domitrz, nationally renowned expert and critically-acclaimed author, has devoted his life to educating society on sexual assault awareness. After experiencing the devastation of his sister being sexually assaulted in 1989, Mike was determined to make a difference.

Within two years, he had created and designed his own interactive program – titled “Can I Kiss You? Dating, Communication, Respect, & Sexual Assault Awareness“ to educate the public on this important issue. His ability to combine a sense of humor with hard-hitting emotion has made Mike one of America’s most sought-after speakers at schools, college campuses, and community events.

As Mike was traveling the country, he continually heard survivors and people of all ages asking, “Are there any great books that share the stories of survivors?” He realized that Voices of Courage was desperately needed and so he began the process of finding survivors from throughout the country who truly represented diverse experiences. He teamed up with the publishing team from his popular book May I Kiss You? A Candid Look at Dating, Communication, Respect & Sexual Assault Awareness to create a wonderful sharing of stories by survivors!

With Voices of Courage, all profits from the book go to organizations dedicated to addressing the many issues surrounding sexual assault.

Featured Survivors

Throughout the year, survivors will be featured here at The Date Safe Project, Inc. as the “Featured Survivor.” Individuals are nominated by their peers, educators, professionals, students, and/or can nominate themselves. The “Featured Survivor” represents some and/or all of the below criteria:

• A sexual assault survivor who has helped others.
• A survivor who’s own journey has inspired others and is willing to share here.
• A sexual assault survivor.

The first “Featured Survivor” will be recognized on September 8th. You will find their story and a picture of the individual here on the website (if he/she chooses to include a picture).

NOMINATE someone today. Individuals will be recognized throughout the year and so it is never too late to nominate a person. To nominate an individual, send an e-mail to nominate@datesafeproject.org. In the e-mail Subject line, type “Featured Survivor” and include the following information inside the e-mail:

1. Name of Nominee
2. Location of Nominee (city and state)
3. E-mail address AND phone number of Nominee (will be kept confidential. We must contact the nominee for approval to give them the recognition on the website).
4. WHY you feel this person deserves the recognition (must be at least 50 words in length).
5. YOUR NAME and contact information (e-mail and phone number).
6. Your affiliation with this individual.

The recipient of the “Featured Survivor” will receive a certificate and an e-book of their choice from The Date Safe Project, Inc.. The recognition may be used in all personal and professional manners (resumes, vitae, awards, scholarships, etc…).

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