Finding the Right Book for Your Class & Students

Educators, when it comes to dating and sexuality, do your students struggle to connect with the many complexities involved with consent, respect, boundaries, bystander intervention, sexual assault, and supporting survivors?  If so, you know how FEW resources are available for these discussions. For most teachers and professors, finding a comprehensive and effective solution for the classroom feels impossible.

Why? Talking about dating and sex can be uncomfortable for people of all ages.  Where do teenagers look for their answers? The internet and friends.  Of course those sources are full of serious and dangerous PROBLEMS!!

May I Kiss You? A Candid Look at Dating, Communication, Respect, & Sexual Assault Awareness is an in-depth look at the realities of intimacy and the dangers that exist in the current dating culture for teenagers and young adults. Written by Mike Domitrz, this candid advice, real-life scenarios, and interactive exercises is revolutionizing each student’s approach to dating & building respect–all while heightening awareness of sexual assault.

While most people simply “make their move” on a date, Domitrz reveals why asking first makes all the difference. Students, parents, educators and professionals are experiencing success with this innovative, respectful and fun approach to dating.

Throughout the book, Domitrz provokes conversations between males and females — each gender taking a close look at behaviors and stereotypes without taking sides. An approach to dating and sexual assault that no other book has ever taken.

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Plus, a brand new “Instructor’s Guide” is being released in the next few weeks.  Every person who purchases the book today will receive a FREE COPY of the “Instructor’s Guide” e-book.

The Date Safe Project 30 DAY GUARANTEE & FREE SHIPPING
is included with ALL orders in the continental United States.

Inside May I Kiss You?

Concepts & Lessons Discussed:

  • 20 Interactive Exercises
  • Dating Fear Factors
  • Asking? Are you crazy?
  • Rejection
  • Body Language Challenge
  • Values
  • Respect
  • Long-term Relationships
  • Dating Gender Gap
  • Help
  • Privacy
  • Blame
  • Family & Friends
  • Responsible Change
  • Self-Defense
  • Awareness
  • Tips for Healthy & Fun Dating
  • Peer Pressure
  • Alcohol & Date Rape Drugs
  • Parties
  • Sexual Harassment
  • Double Standards
  • Talking
  • Supporting Survivors
  • Opening the Door for Survivors
  • The Pledge for Action
  • Making a Difference
  • …and much more

Reviews of May I Kiss You?

In a cultural environment where all of us continually receive mixed and confusing messages about what a healthy, consenseual relationship might look like, Domitrz lights up the issue with welcomed rays of clarity and insight.

Pat McGann, Ph.D., Director of Outreach, Men Can Stop Rape, Washington, D.C.

Every student, whether male or female, needs to use this asking approach. Every parent who is concerned about their sons’ and daughters’ dating relationship (that’s most of us!) should give this book to their teenagers.

Charles Zastrow, Ph.D., Professor, Department of Social Work, University of Wisconsin – Whitewater

I’m not aware of a book like this. May I Kiss You? gives a healthy, straight-forward method for ensuring respectful dating behavior. It is a must read for parents and teens! Mike puts into words what we’ve known but haven’t explained very well.

- Patti Broomell, Counselor, Hamilton High School

May I Kiss You? is a must read for students in high school and college. It will get your thinking about your current dating practices. If you think you would never sexually assault someone, think again–you may already have!

Sharon Hansen, School Counselor, Berlin Middle School, Berlin Wisconsin

The most important issues facing our youth today have been addressed in this sensational book on dating and sexual assault awareness. The angles taken by Domitrz reach the inner most thoughts of all ages, giving the reader detailed solutions to the entire dating experience. A must read!

Sharlene Stewart, a Parent, Immaculata, PA

Click here to read more reviews

About the Author

Mike Domitrz has been traveling the country for two decades working with and teaching students, parents, educators and professionals about dating, communication, respect and sexual assault awareness. An internationally renown expert and award-winning speaker, Domitrz is known for his unique ability to inspire people of all ages to make powerful changes in their dating behaviors and their treatment of others!

30 DAY GUARANTEE & FREE SHIPPING is included with ALL orders in continental United States.

Get #1 Selling Book Today

and get the INSTRUCTOR’s GUIDE for FREE (due out by March 2nd)!!

PLUS MORE

When Mike Domitrz released his award-winning DVD for parents titled HELP! My Teen Is Dating. Real Solutions to Tough Conversations, educators everywhere started sharing how much the DVD was packed full of great strategies for them to use in the classroom with their students. Makes sense, right? If an approach would help parents teach their teens, why wouldn’t it help teachers in the classroom?

The 85 minute DVD set includes the May I Kiss You? book and the critically-acclaimed book Voices of Courage – all in one BOX set!

You get an 85 minute DVD and 2 books used throughout the world to help create a lifelong positive impact for each reader.  While typically a specialized DVD such as this one sells for around $175.  You get the entire DVD and book set for only $49.95 ($20 May I Kiss You? book + $16.95 Voices of Courage book are INCLUDED). Plus, you get shipping included!!

BONUS:  You also get the new “Instructor’s Guide” e-book sent to you by March 2nd.


Additional REVIEWS

Some books are just plain useful. And welcome.

If you have pre-teens or teenagers in your house or in your life, take a look at May I Kiss You?: A Candid Look at Dating, Communication, Respect & Sexual Assault Awareness by Michael J. Domitrz.
This is a fresh, practical and strong-willed book about mutual respect and understanding. It tells young people how to express their affections in respectful and clear ways. It teaches them how to avoid the assumptions that lead to conflict and problems and it explains what sexual assault is.
Dan Hays in Statesman Journal — appeared on June 15, 2003

May I Kiss You? by Michael J. Domitrz is a sexuality, and awareness guide focusing on the complex contemporary issues surrounding dating, intimacy, and above all, the importance of asking first. Stressing the importance of coming to a mutual understanding concerning the most private moments, and with a firm view of the problems of sexual assault and harassment, May I Kiss You? has the very highest recommendation for all — anyone of any age who seeks to pursue a romantic relationship — and should be readily available in every high-school, college, and community library in the country.
On the complex contemporary issues surrounding dating, September 15, 2003 Reviewer: Midwest Book Review from Oregon, WI USA

Of all the elements of consent, “asking for permission” is the most fundamental. This book provides young adults with both an explanation and practical advice.
Scott Hampton, Director, Ending the Violence, Dover, New Hampshire

Domitrz covers a sensitive topic in a unique manner…He makes you think about the very basic “kiss” and how even that act demands permission.
Catherine Lovecchio, Director of Health & Wellness Education, Villanova University

The book speaks to teens while informing parents and teachers. Domitrz speaks to both genders rather than focusing just on what girls need to do to not be victimized
Jennifer Hegge, Educational Resources Coordinator, Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault

A good common sense approach to creating respectful relationships and avoiding sexual assault, understanding its trauma, and helping a survivor. This book will be valuable for any young person who is thinking about what kind of relationship they want and how to insure that they are healthy.
- Alan Berkowitz, Independent Consultant for Sexual Assault Issues

Domitrz’s work is insightful, identifying the problems that can arise when men and women rely solely on body language, assumptions and interpretation to guide their actions.
- Youth Today (September Issue)

I really enjoy this book. I have recommended it to all of my friends. I would really like to help spread the importance of knowing dating, communication, respect, and Sexual Assault Awareness. I think this book will affect so many people in so many different ways. Everyone should read it!!!!!
- Brooke, A teenager from Milwaukee, WI

I LOVED the book, May I Kiss You? In fact, we teach a Healthy Relationship class in our local middle and high schools, and we have now added a whole presentation on consent. We had wanted to add that component which is why I found out about your book online. It was incredibly clear and helpful, taking my own understanding on quite a journey. Thank-you!!
- Meg Kuhner, Youth Coordinator, Battered Women’s Services & Shelter

Domitrz covers a sensitive topic in a unique manner… He makes you think about the very basic ‘kiss’ and how even that act demands permission.
- Catherine Lovecchio, Health & Wellness Director, Villanova University

Of all the elements of consent, ‘asking for permission’ is the most fundamental. This book provides young adults with both an explanation and practical advice.
- Scott Hampton, Director. Ending the Violence

May I Kiss You? is not only a must read for students but for every adult as well. The realities of dating and intimacy are something that everyone needs to be aware of. It is nice to have something that directs this issue at young men as well as young women. Many books direct this issue primarily at women because they are statistically at greater risk but the realization is that both genders are affected. Young men need to have this awareness too and to have a clearer concept of what dating should be. I like this book because it outlines many of the misconceptions that people have in dating practices. There are so many confusing aspects in dating relationships that people don’t even recognize that can lead to sexual misconduct. This book helps illustrate some of those aspects. May I Kiss You? can benefit all of us. As an educator in the community on sexual assault issues, I have found it to be a useful resource for myself both personally and professionally.
- Susan Kouns, Rape Victim Services, Pathways Inc.

Given the changing nature of dating relationships over the past several decades, Mike’s book provides a much-needed message for today’s society. Everyone who reads this book, from parents to students to administrators and others, will benefit from this refreshing look at the age old topic of relationships. I highly recommend this book, and I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of Mike’s next book!!
- David Dial, Residential Life, Louisiana State University

Domitrz simplifies the confusion of the dating process by urging readers to openly communicate their wants and needs. He empowers both males and females to transcend stereotypical gender roles and embrace a relationship that is free from sexual pressure and misunderstandings.”
- Theresa Asmus, Counselor, Rape Crisis Service of Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/Syracuse Region, New York

The book speaks to teens while informing parents and teachers. Domitrz speaks to both genders rather than focusing just on what girls need to do to not be victimized.
- Jennifer Hegge, Educational Resources Coordinator, Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault

The book is unique because it addresses an important issue in an honest, down to earth fashion. The tone is one of concern and reading the book feels like a conversation with Mike. This easy to read book presents a wealth of information to teens and adults alike. Its light approach to a serious subject is very comprehensive and much needed in the world of dating and exploring relationships.
- Suzanne Trummer, ATODA Coordinator, Watertown School District

The book focuses all of us to take a look at ourselves, our actions, and the ability that we all have to promote change!
- Laura Pennimpede, Rape Crisis Community Educator, Victim Assistance Services

Today, someone was giving away free copies of this book. Always interested in reading material, and always curious about relationship issues, I picked it up and read it…

A lot of the stuff I already knew and understood (or at least thought I did). Other parts were things I’d sorta thought about, but never really sat down and analyzed. Others I just didn’t think about, period.

While reading the book I realized that I’d been treating my last would-be boyfriend badly. I never thought of it as assault, but there were still times when I acted in a relatively intimate manner… and had no idea whether he wanted it or not. I knew he was attracted to me. But I didn’t know if he was comfortable with what I wanted to do. And to be honest, I was so drunk with wanting to be intimate that I was quite willing to risk doing something he didn’t feel ready for. And besides, I was the girl. He could always turn me down, right?

I feel terrible for it now. Even before reading this book I felt badly about it, but now I know how to be aware of that ‘drunkenness’ when I feel it, and how to force it back and remind myself to be respectful of him. After all, it’s not his body that I’m really attracted to, it’s his own personness. His unique soul. How can I disrespect him by only worrying about what “I” want?

I’m glad that I didn’t go any further than I did. And I know there were times when he wanted to do things, but wasn’t comfortable enough to try them – or was worried about how I would feel about them, then or later, and kept himself from doing things he thought were disrespectful. I’m so glad for that. And now I think I can learn to be as strong as he has been.

This book has helped me a lot, even if it’s so simple in what it’s saying. I’m going to pass it around to people I know, even if I think they already know the lesson, just to help remind them what they believe and why. Sometimes reading a book like this can help strengthen your own values.

Anyway.. just wanted to say, thanks for writing this, Mr. Domitrz. And thanks, whoever it was who was giving away the books. At least one person has learned something from them.
- Robin, a college student in Texas

REMEMBER you get the “Instructor’s Guide” for FREE by ordering the book today!

The guide is expected to be completed by March 2nd.

Schools, Campuses, and Communities addressing healthy dating, consent, bystander intervention, and supporting survivors

“Can I Kiss You?” Program for Campuses addressing sexual assault, consent, and bystander intervention

Download the latest materials for your campus

Download informational magazine

Download informational magazine

Download this in-depth 20 page informational magazine by clicking on the image above or by clicking here. In this special publication, you will get to read articles, hear from educators, professionals, survivors, & students from throughout North America. To have the packet mailed to you, call us toll-free at (800) 329-9390.

Download PR & Marketing Materials
Below are all the promotional and marketing materials for you to use on your campus.  You can download each file and instantly have them available for use.

* “Pledge for Action”TM
* Promotional Posters
* Fantastic 100 Pack!
* Head Shots of Mike Domitrz
* Pictures of Book Covers
* Introduction for “Can I Kiss You?”
* Press Releases (upon request)

20 page college informational magazine

Glamorizing Porn at Yale

"Sex week" is taking place at Yale.  If you know of my work, you know how strongly I believe in colleges and universities addressing healthy sexuality.  This particular "Sex Week" is not the kind of "healthy sexuality" we believe in promoting.

Next Saturday, as part of the student-run program "Sex Week" at Yale, pornographer Steve Hirsch (founder and owner of leading porn studio Vivid Productions) will be at Yale University to talk about how he has mainstreamed the porn industry.

One of the contests to take place during the week at Yale is – best "Vivid Productions Look Alike Girl."

As Gail Dines states in the article which has a link to it below, the atrocity is no counter-voice is being given the chance to be heard at Yale during this program.  This is not a panel.  There are no speakers scheduled afterward to follow-up on the dangers of pornography and the industry itself.  Thus, you have a Pornographer being glamorized at one of our country’s most prestigious schools.

Read Gail Dines’ insightful comments at:
http://www.courant.com/news/opinion/op_ed/hc-dines0211.artfeb11,0,7749566.story

Knowing Yale University has some outstanding women on their campus who work hard against these very dangerouse messages, I am saddended to see their voices are not even being given a chance to be expressed on their own campus.  This event is not a knock on Yale University.  This program simply proves how violent, unhealthy, and dangerous sexuality has become accepted through pornography.

Slowing down

Last night as I drove through the Appalacian Moutains, I was taken aback by the beauty, the serenity, the green of the hillsides, and the roll of the individual mountain.  After landing in Dayton, OH this morning, I was driving into the city and noticed a wonderous water fountain to the left of the expressway.  You felt like you were looking at 5 large firehoses shooting up into the air and landing in one spot together in the middle of the river.  As Garrison Keiler was speaking through the car radio on National Public Radio with a repeat broadcast of "A Prairie Home Companion," you felt compelled to just stop.  Take it all in. 

Well I couldn’t stop in the middle of the expressway and so I enjoyed the moment for the second I had it.  As for Garrison, his segment was captivating me.  I hadn’t heard his show in several years. This episode had me with his every word.  Garrison was telling a story about a husband daydreaming in his hammock on a nice summer day.  His dreams went through humorous flashbacks from his life.  I needed to stop and get a bite to eat before I spoke at the University of Dayton.  The only restaurant open was the Starbucks I am in right now.  However, my car radio wouldn’t let me open the car door.  I had to hear the end and I’m glad I did.  The ending of the story had the man admiring his wife as she walked into their home.

"Asking First" creates times in life that make us stop, slow down, and enjoy the moment. When you ‘ask first’, it forces you to pause.  You get to take in every aspect of healthy intimacy without racing.  By asking, you don’t miss out on CREATING an unforgettable moment.  Of course, these are the moments you want to slow down, get right, and enjoy!

We Must Take Notice

Monday’s shootings once again started with violence against women.  We must start to engage our media and news outlets in this horrific pattern that is occurring throughout our country.  The Amish School shootings targed females.  The Bailey, Colorado school shootings targed females (include sexual molestation).  Monday’s shootings began by the man killing two females in a one-on-one situation.  We have video games where players can rape a women as a "reward" or to GAIN points.  Write letters to the Editor and demand the need for our country to start facing the "Violence Against Women" occuring throughout our society. 

Let us not have all of those lives lost on Monday for nothing.  Help us to create real change by igniting the conversation on how our society needs to STOP normalizing violence against women.  Once we get people talking, we can get them to take action — positive action!!

Do you really want my opinion? Do you take it in or simply let it be said?

When someone provides you feedback, how do you absorb their words?  Do you open your mind with a positive energy of "How can I make that work?" or do you respond with "I like your ideas, BUT . . ." and immediately share why you cannot or will not utilize their idea(s)?

Recently, I was sharing on a college e-mail listserve how schools can utilize our "Pledge for Action" during Sexual Assault Awareness Month in April.  At the time, the pledge was called the "Pledge to Protect."  We have been utilizing this pledge for over a 1.5 years.  Through this e-mail exchange on the listserve, one of the members shared how she did not like the word "Protect" in the pledge’s title because of the Patriarchal meanings and connotations of that specific word.  No one was questioning the content of the pledge — just the name.

We had a choice.  We could say to ourselves, "It is one person and this pledge has been extremely effective.  If we make this change, we would have to get new websites, change all the current information we send out, and make lots of other updates."  The other option we had was to ask the entire listserve, "What if we change the name to ‘Pledge for Action’ which requires signers to commit to taking real action?  What do you all think of this idea?"

We chose to open this question to the entire listserve and the feedback was OVERWHELMING — we kept hearing "WE LOVE THE CHANGE to Pledge for Action!!" (www.pledge4action.org).

From that change, another colleague of mine suggested, "Mike, with this new name, I can envision a pin people can wear year-round that says, ‘Pledge for Action’ and it would be a die-cast pin (like a National Honor Society pin in high school) so it would be sharp looking."  The "Pledge for Action" pins have now been ordered.  We have a pin designed in the shape of the logo used on the pledge with the wording "Pledge for Action" across the front.  Plus, we have a new t-shirt coming out which is designed specifically for the pledge!

All of this change happened because one person shared their opinion with us.  If we had discarded their e-mail, we would have lost out on improving an already successful educational campaign.  The new changes are going to help us get this campaign out to many more populations, especially with schools, communities, and organizations being able to use the pins and the shirts in conjunction with the signing of the pledge.

The surprising part of this experience were the amount of e-mails saying, "Thanks, Mike, for being willing to listen to change.  Most people would not have opened up this conversation about their own work."  To me, it seems like the only choice.  How can you ask students and communities to open their minds — while you keep yours closed to helpful feedback?

Who will you ask for their ideas today?  What positive changes will you make?  Join us in our newest change and sign the pledge at www.pledge4action.org.

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