Your Interest in the 10% Program

Thank you for contacting us about the 10% Program. Soon, you will be receiving a follow-up email. If you do not receive the email within the next hour, double-check the SPAM FILTER on your email system to insure the email didn’t get blocked (due to the subject matters discussed by our organization, sometimes email filters due block our emails).

You are important to us. Due to the volume of inquiries we receive for the 10% Program, we typically respond within 3-4 weeks. Your patience and understanding is greatly appreciated. We want to help as many non-profits as possible in the coming year.

Please continue to look around the website and discover the many resources available for you!

Senior high school student in England speaks of ASKING FIRST

This Senior student at Lakenheath High School makes a strong statement about consent and asking first. LEAVE A COMMENT to let him know what you think (he is excited to see your comments)!

Share your thoughts by LEAVING A COMMENT!

The General Assembly Parents LOVE to bring to their schools!

When it comes to middle schools and high schools teaching teenagers vital skills for decision-making regarding teen dating, intimacy, a comprehensive safety approach to sex and/or abstinence, MANY school systems do very little because they are afraid of how parents will react.  Thus, students learn from each other and we all know teens teaching teens about sex is extremely dangerous.

In fact, today you are hearing more new stories from school systems and communities across the country involving teenage sexually transmitted diseases and infections.  Plus, research is showing sexual activity is occurring at much younger ages.

As a parent, how can YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE?  Work with your local school administrators to bring an interactive and educational program with long-lasting impact for your students.  Bring in a program which does more than “Raise Awareness” – find a presentation which gives students precise skills they can immediately use in their lives. When leaders and educators see parents taking an active role in wanting a specific program for their students, many educators and administrators feel more comfortable moving forward and taking the needed action to bring the program to the school.

One of the most sought after experts in the country for providing these necessary skills to teenagers is Mike Domitrz, the Executive Director of The Date Safe Project Inc. and the author of HELP! My Teen Is Dating.  His one-person show for students titled “Can I Kiss You?” is praised by parents, educators, administrators, and TEENAGERS!  Unlike many experts who lecture students toward one specific agenda, Domitrz opens students’ minds to making better choices for themselves, their friends, and any potential future dating partners.  Because of this unique approach, the “Can I Kiss You?” program is supported by parents on both sides of the heated debate between “Abstinence-Only Education” vs “Comprehensive Sex Ed” taking place in many communities.

Bring this one-of-a-kind General Assembly to your school, students, and community.
Click here for more information.

University of Alabama Rolls w/ Tide of Change by “Asking First”

Tonight, the sorority sisters at the University of Alabama made a commitment to Asking First, Being a Friend, and Opening a Door.  They were a passionate group of students who shared their viewpoints and made a verbal agreement to make a difference on their campus.  While we had 2 shows (one at 6pm and one at 8pm), each group agreed with the changes that need to occur.

The campus has a close relationship between Greek Life and the Women’s Resource Center (not a relationship you see at every campus).  The staff of the Women’s Resource Center was out in full support of the program tonight.  Getting to meet all of these passionate individuals and the head of the BACCHUS GAMMA group on campus (in addition to being the head of Peer Education) was greatly appreciated.

Watch their high energy and fun video below.

“Can I Kiss You?” & Mike Domitrz at John Carroll University

First off, a special “THANKS” goes out to Ryan Knotts for bringing the “Can I Kiss You?” program to John Carroll University for the past 5 years.  Ryan is moving into a new position in a few months.  Ashley, we are excited to work with you in the coming years.  Ashley was brought in just a few months ago to run the VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) Grant JCU received.  Congrats on the grant!!

Today’s program addressed intimacy, consent, respect, choices, sexual assault, and supporting survivors of sexual assault.

Here is the video from the students at today’s “Can I Kiss You?” program:

Sexual Assault Survivors in College PRAISE program.

The most important person in the audience of a program discussing sexual assault is each SURVIVOR.  While many programs discuss the pain of sexual assault, you want to insure the presentation you bring to campus UPLIFTS and provides each survivor a positive outlook for the future.  Read below to see the difference the “Can I Kiss You?” program and Mike Domitrz’s approach is making with survivors!

“Your program was absolutely an amazing one to watch. I happen to be a victim of sexual assault and your program definitely helped me to realize that people do care. In my situation, i told only a few people, but no one believed me. When you mentioned how you should call up someone that you care about or even love to tell them that you’re there for them, it brought tears to my eyes. When i eventually told my story, so many people did not believe me, and it hurt. I felt like no one was there for me when i needed them most. It brought tears to my eyes also because my little sister has been forced against her will to perform sexual acts on an older boyfriend she once had, and she was not ready. It made me cry because i love her so much and i wish she never went threw that pain. I called her up tonight and told her exactly what you told us to tell someone we loved.

Now she had never told me this before, but she had mentioned it to my other sister who told me. But tonight she opened up and told me everything she could. And i was so glad i could be there to listen. Your program helped me to cope a little better with the feelings i have bottled up inside of me from the assault that i went threw. It helped me realize that people really do care. And i hope that everyone that attended tonight’s program at Westfield state college realizes the importance of asking. Its simple, just ask. Thank you.”

– A college student at Westfield State College in MA

“When I was 12 my grandfather sexually assaulted me. I confessed a year later, received counseling for a week, told the police my story, but nothing was done. My family wouldn’t push charges, ignored the incident, put a smile on, and pretended it never happened. They did not want to scar our family’s name, especially someone as important to the community as my grandfather…a doctor. Every family gathering, I had to share meals, give him presents, hug and kiss my assaulter goodbye, acting as if nothing happened. I thought no one cared, until I was 17. My grandfather passed away and my older brother called me, the first thing he told me was “I remember, and I’ll always be here.” That was the first time anyone in my family ever acknowledged the situation in five years.
Earlier today while I was watching you up on stage you made me feel loved and cared for. I am not a family’s shameful secret; I am a person, a survivor. Thank you.”
– A college student in Wisconsin

“You just came to my school a few short hours ago and I absolutely loved your presentation. I was really touched by your helpful information and just want to thank you, as a ‘survivor.’ I really wanted to meet you and tell you in person, but the crowd was too pushy and I was too close to the door before I had breathing room. I got your books and a t-shirt though, my roommate bought them for me. Because of your wonderful seminar, I called my mom as soon as I got to my dorm and told her everything about my encounter.
If I hadn’t gone to your seminar, I know for a fact that I would never have told my mother, and I know now that I shouldn’t have waited so long. I just want to thank you once again. My life looks much more brighter without that constant nagging feeling of doubt whether I should tell someone or not.”
– A college student in Missouri

“I will never forget the impact you have made on my heart and those around me. I am a victim of rape, and I have been sharing my story for about six months. Now, I took the challenge of letting those around me know I am there for them if they ever need to talk. Doors are opening, and someone shared with me within less than a minute of the words coming out of my mouth. God is working through you in so many ways, and I just pray that hearts continue to be open and willing to listen to what you have to say.”
– A student from Hastings College

“I was in your audience tonight. I am a freshman. I was in the front row in a black sweater, nervously devouring my fingernails.

The attached letter (not included here to protect confidentiality) is my Victim/Witness Impact statement that I read on August 25th, less then 2 months ago, to my best friends father before he was incarcerated.  I came forward what will be two years ago this February 13th, two days before my 20th birthday.

I have never felt anything close to what I felt as I walked out those doors tonight. And like every other high school/college student has, I have walked out the doors of quite a few of those programs.  As you said you receive dozens of emails, many of which, I’m sure share similar stories. That fact has always left me feeling no need to send in one more sob story, but tonight I felt different. It might be the fact that this was the first program I have been to since I’ve come forward and claimed my title as a ‘survivor’ or, maybe it was because I had a total stranger tell me how proud he was of me. A man who had never met me, who had never heard my story or seen me try and cope. I’ve heard my family, my friends, the police, the court officials and all of the people who have supported me through out this whole ordeal tell me how proud they are of me how strong they think I am and so on and so forth till I was blue in the face. But after so many times you start to not process it, or, like in my case you continue to not.

All of those people had heard my story. You hadn’t, like I said before. You didn’t even know I was there. Tonight was the first night I really heard someone tell me I was brave. And it hurt. In that room tonight I became a fighter and a survivor. I realized that everything that happened to me should have never happened. I have repeated that phrase ceaselessly for the past year and a half without them ever meaning anything to me. Thank you for bringing meaning to them. I have sat in therapy for an hour and half twice a week for the past year and half and have not felt the way I did tonight. The program tonight did touch so much on the type of abuse that was down to me as a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 7th grader and everything in between. However did about what happened to me as a freshman in high school and most recently as a senior. The August before becoming a freshman, I began a “courtship” with what would be a junior. I was in love. I had an upper classman, and not just any upper classman, but the captain of the basketball and golf teams. We started dating in November and by March he was threatening to break up with me if I didn’t sleep with him. In April I explained to him why I wouldn’t sleep with him. He was the first person told, but he was the second to tell me it wasn’t a big deal. I laid in his arms and told him how since the beginning of second grade, when I moved to Martha’s Vineyard, Steven had been sexually abusing me. I explained to him how Steve would call me out of bed at night, with his very own daughter in the next bed. How he would call my parents to arrange play dates, play dates that were kept only by him and not his daughter. When I had finished telling this all to my John (name has been changed for confidentiality reasons) he kissed me on the forehead and told me he was sorry, but that if we had sex he would never hurt me like that. Needless to say I forgot the whole thing ever happened because it was after all obviously not a big deal. If it was such a bad thing Steve would have never done it, and if John really loved me, and he didn’t think it was a big deal, then it must not have been. We broke up a year later. . .

Steve pled guilty (and confessed to) to sixteen counts of indecent assault and battery (he confessed also to several other charges that had not been brought up by me, but had been against me) on a child under the age of 14, but pled not guilty to the twelve counts of statutory rape.

In the 19 months leading up to the trial I never felt as brave as I did tonight, sitting in your audience. I wish I had heard your program sooner.  In all the other programs I had been to, none had asked the students to ‘open the door’ for someone else. Nor had the speaker experienced a first hand account of what rape can do to a person. When you asked us to close our eyes tonight, I saw Julie (name replaced for confidentiality). Julie is the daughter of Steve. What hurt me the most, before our friendship ended, was the day she told me she couldn’t remember her childhood. I was sad at first because that meant she couldn’t remember all the fun we had had and all the times we had made cookies with her now deceased mother. After I came forward I replayed the same conversation in my head and hurt all over again. When something traumatic happens, as I’m sure you know, you block it out. Sometimes, even a whole childhood. Julie has yet to come forward and we have not talked since her father was put away. Tonight however I opened the door for her. I created a MySpace account and wrote her a message telling her I loved her. I didn’t sign my name, but I did leave the link and phone number to a national help hotline.

I don’t know if she’ll come forward, or if for that matter anything ever happened to her, but I do know I opened the door, just like you had asked us to do.

It has taken me close to all night to write this letter, which I’m sure is filled with atrocious spelling and painfully obvious punctuations and grammar mistakes, but that is after all why I wrote it from my college dorm room.

I can’t explain to you what tonight meant to me. What happened to me was not necessarily what happened to me, but the way people can reach out and help is exactly the same. When you explained that it wasn’t funny, that a girl could rape a guy, and that survivors find nothing about rape amusing I looked around and realized I had been the only one in my row not laughing.  Before tonight I probably would have laughed, but after you told me how proud you were of me and how strong you thought I was, I couldn’t. I thought about the little boy that could easily been in my place and I couldn’t laugh.

Thank you so much for what you gave to me tonight. I am a survivor of acts for worse then an unwanted kiss, but from tonight on I will never have to put up with another unwanted kiss or touch because I know I can say no. More importantly however is that I will be damned if see a person I love go threw the pain I did because of something I could have prevented.  This revelation could very well have come at another time, but it came tonight and because of you.”
– A college student from NY

“Dear Mr. Mike Domitrz:
When you came to my campus, I spoke with you about me being a victim of sexual abuse when I was teenager. When I was in high school, I asked my girlfriend, at the time, if I could kiss her (we were dancing). She replied, ‘Yeah I guess, sure.’  I think I might have caught her off guard. Well, that was in 1999; now it is 2005, and I am a recently un-closeted, 23 year old male. I have never been asked, ‘Can I kiss you?” Guy’s mistakenly assume it is okay.
I wrote a speech for ‘Take Back The Night’ (this is my speech for tonight). Here it is:
‘Good Evening, My name is __________”. Last Semester, I spoke about being a victim of both physical abuse (at the ages of 6 to 12) as well as sexual abuse (at the age of 14). However, after attending the speech entitled: “Can I Kiss You?“, by Mr. Mike Domitrz, last Tuesday night, I have realized that I am not a victim of the abuses; but instead a SURVIVOR. Thank You, Mike.’”
– Damian (NY)

“I would like to thank you so much for your words and compassion. I have never considered myself a survivor or even a victim, but after last night I realize that I have been involved in nonconsensual physical contact and I have a renewed outlook on that experience after your presentation. Thank you for telling the stories, they are so important and I have an immense respect for you and the people you have worked with. A friend and I talked last night until 1:30 about your perspective and he was reduced to tears, we were both truly moved.  Thanks again!”
– Student in TX

“You made something that kids normally don’t want to hear about and turned it into something people will be talking about for a very long time. Thank you again for what you are doing.”
– Student in WI

“Thank you so much for your talk. I am a survivor and it brought back a lot of the things and feelings that I went through. Everything you said was 100% accurate to what I went through and what my family went through. Ironically the kid that did this too me was in the room, and I can only hope that you touched him as much as you touched me. Thank you so much!”
– Student from PA

“Mike, I was just at your presentation and I found it to be very helpful. I am a freshmen and two weeks after coming up to school, I was sexually assaulted. I kept blaming myself for what happened — saying things like “if I hadn’t have had so much to drink, this wouldn’t have happened to me.” I am having a real hard time forgiving myself for letting this happen to myself. I was sitting in the second row tonight. Every word you said made me realize I should be thankful I am still here. That is a really scary time for someone to go though and no one really realizes it . . .You have inspired me to try to get past this and work hard to keep living my life. I thought this could never happen to me and it did. People don’t realize that this can happen to anyone at any time. Drunk, sober, at night or during the day. When you said the word survivor, that really hit home. Thanks for your advice and support.”
– Student from NC

“I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for speaking out about rape survivors. I saw your program two or three years ago and I just saw it again recently. Between the two programs, I was raped by my best guy friend (at the time). And when you spoke of survivors, I felt as if you were speaking directly to me, and it gave me the hope and strength to talk to my friends about what happened to me. It’s comforting to know that other people share the idea that it’s not the victims fault, and that we weren’t asking for it. Just thank you from the bottom of my heart. I think if more people had the courage to speak about rape it would be easier for survivors to recover. I like the word survivor. I never really thought of it like that before. It was always victim to me. The word victim is weak, and survivor gives me hope that I will indeed over come.”
– Student from CT

“I wanted to let you know how much that presentation has changed my life. I am a survivor of almost three years now, and everything you said touched home for me. I wish I had seen you sooner because it is such a serious and real topic. What I really wanted to tell you is that I brought my boyfriend with me to your presentation and it has brought a change in him I can barely recognize. He is a man’s man and has a certain attitude when it comes to male and female roles. But after watching your presentation, he has a new mannerism, so to speak, with me. I knew that he loved me, but now he shows it by respecting me. He said to me, ‘You know babe, even though we’re together, I never want you to feel that you don’t have a choice because you do. Always.’ For him to say that to me meant more than anything in the world. I just wanted to say thank you and what you are doing is amazing.”
– Student in WI

“First of all.. I want to thank you. Your presentation was one of the best I’ve ever seen, if not THE best. It especially hit home for me because when I was 14 years old, I was beaten and raped by a 33 year old man. . . Tonight when you came to Oswego and gave your presentation, it was amazing to me. You don’t know how much I appreciate someone like you and how you presented yourself and how you affected everyone in that room. I could go on for longer but all I really wanted to say was thank you so much. I mean that with all my heart. Thank you again.” — Student in NY

ARE YOU A SURVIVOR who attended the “Can I Kiss You?” program?

If you are  a survivor who attended the “Can I Kiss You?” program, share your comments in our new Audio Testimonial Program by clicking here.  Another option is to visit our online Forum for Sexual Assault Survivors by clicking here.  You choose!

College Students RAVE about “Can I Kiss You?” Show

More for You. Please click on the following links for more info on the “Can I Kiss You?:”

About	Watch the Video	“Train the Trainer”
Reviews from Students	College Tour Schedule	Huge Attendance
Continuing Impact	Reserve a Date	Downloads

“All I can say is WOW!!  I attended one of his sessions for the Peer-Ed people and his “Can I Kiss You?” program too and both were amazing. I truly enjoyed everything…and everything he had to say was so true. Guys and Girls all have a lot to learn about communication, and this is a great way to get people started talking. Along with this, I thought his approach to talking about sexual assault was very enlightening, and I have pledged to support survivors. The whole program really makes you think, about everything you’ve done or haven’t done in a relationship. So I just want to say THANK YOU MIKE!  For sharing your time with us, sharing your message, and hopefully opening the eyes of those around you.”
– Mary, a student from Hastings College

“I tried asking and it was amazingly easier to do.   I would definitely ask again because it was like a load was lifted off my shoulders — the guessing game of ‘Do you really like me?’ was gone.  I was asked the day after the presentation at my school. I actually told him I’d have to think about it, and the next day I said yes. I’ve been dating him for over a month now, and I’m amazed that he asks before everything. And I can’t be more appreciative.”
– Nicole, a student from Christopher Newport University

“I attended your seminar at Iowa State University in April. At the time, I was only in town for orientation, and the catchy title of your seminar got my attention. I went with my best friend who had been a victim of sexual assault, and afterward I was finally able to respond to her better, and she was able to express herself more clearly and realize it wasn’t her fault. The incident had happened over a year ago and now the healing can finally begin. Thank you for your passion and dedication – I know we weren’t the only ones who were affected.”
– Stephanie, a student from Iowa State University

“I know you won’t remember me. But I will never forget your words and your compassion!!”
– A student from a campus in NY

“I have used the ‘asking first‘ approach with my boyfriend and he has used it with me. It has really helped us to have great communication with each other, and we have a very healthy and happy relationship.  Asking helps to make the relationship more open and comfortable. If you ask first or are asked there is a lot more trust in the relationship and the trust is maintained far more easily.  I want to thank you so much. Your program has helped me to move forward past some issues I have had with men and relationships. I am now in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend who also attended your program. On our second date he used the ‘asking first” approach. It really does work, and it is so wonderful for our relationship. Again I want to thank you so much for your program ‘Can I Kiss You?‘.”
– A student from the University of Dayton in OH

“There was a guy on campus to ask me out and it was just after your talk so the words were fresh in my head (the poster hangs on my dorm door) so at the end of the date I asked him if I could kiss him. He seemed surprised that I would ask, but because of that we’ve become closer. We respect each other and that has become the bases for our relationship, not physical pleasure.   My mum was a victim of rape and has been very worried about the same thing happening to me. I never really got it until after I heard your talk. It really made me realize things that we take for granted. I hadn’t wanted to go when I heard the title of your talk, but I will never regret going to hear you speak. Your words changed my life and how I view myself and my mum. Thank you.”
– A student from Barton College in NC

“I have always been that girl who had a boyfriend, but I am currently in one of the most successful relationships I’ve ever had. We’ve been dating for a really long time and haven’t lost that spark—and we’re doing the long distance thing. One thing that my boyfriend does that no one else has done is ask to do things when we’re being intimate. Even after dating for several months (approaching a year) he still asks if, and how, he can please me. He *always* asks, adding that he wants to do exactly what I want. It makes it my choice. It’s so attractive and sexy that it’s impossible to say no, but I know that if I didn’t want to do something, I could tell him. Knowing that makes our relationship so much stronger. I just wanted to reiterate your point–asking can be really sexy, and doesn’t have to ruin the moment at all. In fact, it can make the moment more amazing than it already was! Thanks for coming to our school and letting everyone know how good asking can be! (and feel free to share this story with other people!)”
– Leslie, a student from Bucknell in Pennsylvania

“In the fall of 2003, you visited Luther College to give your presentation, which as a first year student I was strongly urged to attend. At the time, I thought the ‘Can I kiss you?’ idea made sense, but that it wasn’t necessarily practical. Either way, I wasn’t in a situation where a romantic relationship was a possibility, so I put it to the back of my mind and didn’t really think about it.

This summer, I met a guy who was interested in me. We decided to get together, and one night we were cuddling on a bench. I could tell that he wanted to kiss me, and I realized that I wasn’t ready for it, but I didn’t have the courage to flat-out refuse him. He wasn’t picking up on my nonverbal signals, and I was starting to get really uncomfortable. Finally, unable to think of anything else to do, I started telling him about your program. About how you’d shown us how nonverbal signals rarely work, and the importance of asking first. Wonder of wonders, he got it! He asked if he could kiss me, and I was able to tell him no (I was still nervous/embarrassed by it, but it was manageable).

That by itself is perhaps a small thing, but I think that it shaped the way the physical parts of our relationship went from that point on. He always asked before we did anything that might make me uncomfortable, and I was always comfortable with telling him to stop if I needed to. I really think that having seen your program and sharing that with him helped to make ours into a healthier relationship. So thank you, Mike, for everything you do. It really does make a difference!”
– Gretchen, a student from Luther College in Iowa

“I know several rape or sexual assault survivors. I don’t know why I know so many but knowing them makes my life a better life. I would never go back and say I wish I hadn’t met any of them. To support them when they are nervous or just need a reassurance is magical. It’s hard to get used to the fact that someone you truly love has been raped, you are angry and frustrated. However, being calm and just a listener is all a survivor needs most of the time, and the bond that has grown between some of my friends and I will never be broken. The things Mike said were useful to anyone. It’s true that all you have to say is “Thank you for telling me, That means a lot. I want you to know that if you need me for anything, I will always support you.” That may very well be one of the most influential statements that can be made. Thanks again, Mike!”
– Gary, a student from Bucknell in Pennsylvania

“My sister and I were both raped in the past year. She was assaulted on a Friday and by Monday, I had heard things about it around our high school. I also knew because I had acted the same way after being assaulted. I opened the door and told her that if something happened, she could tell me and I would listen. She told us what happened that night. At the police station they asked her if she said no. I agree that they should ask if he asked. It was great that Mike brought light to that situation (in the “Can I Kiss You?” program).  Society does seem to focus on what the survivor does and as a survivor, I know the difference. Thank you again!!!  IT (the ‘Can I Kiss You?’ program) WAS AMAZING!!”
– A student at St. Cloud State University in MN

“A couple weeks ago, you spoke here at Gettysburg College. Just 2 days later, I accompanied a female friend of mine to her former boyfriend’s (who had raped her) house where she confronted and said goodbye to him. She had been afraid to do so for 7 months, and she said that it was my simple supportive accompaniment that enabled her to at long last do it. So your presentation was absolutely correct, in that the thing a survivor of sexual assault needs most is just to know that people support her (or so it seems from my experience). Thus I desired to thank you for your presentation here, and I hope that other people can benefit also from it–whether they are the survivor, or the supportive friend as I was.”
– Joe, a student from Gettysburg College in PA

“Hi Mike, I am an athlete on our campus who attended your seminar on Wednesday.  I just wanted to let you know how much you put things into perspective.  It had never really occurred to me that the simple action of asking for permission could really be that powerful.  I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half, and we always used to joke about how me met and how the first time we ever kissed he asked me if he could.  I would always laugh and say how cute it was, and of course all of his buddies would make fun of him and call him feminine names.  But after listening to what you had to say, I realized that my boyfriend never really stopped asking me for my permission, even after being with me for so long.  He truly respects me and my body, and for the first time, I am recognizing it.  Nothing ever flagged my brain when he would say something that asked for my consent, so I never really noticed the fact that he wasn’t just doing things because HE felt like it.  He wanted to make sure it was something both of us wanted.  So basically, I just wanted to thank you for opening my eyes to what I have been oblivious to! I really hope your message touches everyone who hears you because I know there are good people out there who can make a difference.  Thank you so much for your stories! You truly have a good heart!”
– Student at CSU at Sacramento

“The day after seeing this program, I ran into a friend of mine who had also been at the presentation as well. Jokingly, I said to him, “Can I kiss you?” At this point, I should mention that Fred is INCREDIBLY gay, and that I am a female. And he said, “Okay!” So, completely randomly, Fred and I shared a kiss, right there, in the middle of the English department building. It was completely unexpected and beautiful and it’ll probably never happen again. . . it absolutely made my day.“
– Mariah, a student at Skidmore College

“My boyfriend asked me if he could kiss me on our first date, and I thought it was sweet, mature and above all, respectful. We’ve been together for 6 months, and I think there is a definite possibility that he is the man i might marry. And I will always remember our first kiss being perfect. I think asking is a great way to begin an open and honest relationship.”
– Jess, a student at University of Delaware

“My boyfriend and I are both Greeks on our campus.  The first time he went to kiss me, he pulled back. I was a little disappointed because I really wanted to kiss him too, but then he looked me straight in the eyes, and asked if he could kiss me. It melted my heart. When it’s truly sincere, that first kiss means so much more. So I just wanted to let all those disbelievers out there know, that it really does work.  If a guy were to ask me to kiss him, it would mean so much more and I would have so much more respect for that person, especially now that I’ve attended your seminar. I’ve never tried the asking first, because I was one of those girls who used to believe that ‘it’s the man’s job,’ but now I’ve realized that it’s my body.“
– Meredith at Eastern Washington University

SHARE YOUR COMMENTS by going to the top of this page and clicking on “Leave a Comment”

Bring the “Can I Kiss You?” Program to your community. Call now to receive a special 20 page informational magazine and to find the best remaining dates available. Toll Free 800-329-9390 or click here to email us.

More for You. Please click on the following links for more info on the “Can I Kiss You?:”

About	Watch the Video	“Train the Trainer”
Reviews from Students	College Tour Schedule	Huge Attendance
Continuing Impact	Reserve a Date	Downloads

Support Women – Take Action on VAWA funding

–While this posting originated as an e-mail from the Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault, it applies to EVERYONE!!  Read the entire posting please.  You’ll see what you can do right now (Today):

Today, the U.S. House of Representatives will begin consideration, with votes throughout the week, of funding for VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) programs under the jurisdiction of the FY2010 Commerce, Justice, and Science (CJS) spending budget.  We are incredibly proud that one of Wisconsin’s own, Rep. Gwen Moore, will be leading the effort to increase federal funding for Civil Legal Assistance for Victims.

WCADV has been working with Rep. Moore to include the voices of Wisconsin survivors in the discussion, as Rep. Moore makes the case for providing more victims with civil legal assistance.  Thanks to the brave survivors who have offered to share their stories with Rep. Moore and be spokeswomen for VAWA funding!

Now we all can join survivors around the country in fighting for increased funding.   Please call your House Member and ask him or her  to support the following amendments:

Moore/Poe Amendment: This amendment would increase funding for Civil Legal Assistance for victims of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault and stalking by $4 million (from $37 million to $41 million).

Reichert Amendment:  This amendment would provide funding for the 1st time the STEP program at $5 million.  The STEP program provides prevention and early intervention services for middle school and high school students regarding domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault and stalking.

Gresham Amendment:  This amendment would ban earmarks from raiding the Grants to Combat Violence Against Women account, thereby safeguarding funding for the essential STOP grants and Transitional Housing program.

Never called a Member of Congress before? Don’t worry, it’s easy!

Call 1-866-305-9428 toll free to be connected to the Capitol Switchboard.  Tell them the name of your Representative and they will connect you to their office.   Your call will be answered by a receptionist.  Tell him or her:

“Hello, my name is ____ and I am a constituent, from [include your state and town or zip].”
“I urge Representative [last name] to vote YES on the Moore/Poe Amendment, Reichert Amendment, and Barrett Amendment.
These Amendments will provide increased funding to help meet the dire need for victim services nationwide.
“Thank you.”
Outlook and Next Steps

We expect that the House to vote on amendments throughout the week and finalize their work on the CJS spending measure by Thursday, June 18th.  Once the House completes work on the CJS bill, the Senate will begin consideration of their version as early as next week.  Stay tuned for updates.

High school students take action on intimacy & sexual assault!

Too often, the media and entertainment industry (TV news shows, gossip magazines, & online new sources) focuses so much attention on negative and/or dangerous choices male and female teenagers engage in – that they miss a lot of the positive choices high school students make concerning intimacy, dating, sexual activity, and supporting sexual assault survivors every day in our country.   We were honored to hear our “Can I Kiss You?” program inspired teenage students in Wisconsin at Lodi High School, Portage High School and Wisconsin Dells High School to continue the messages of “Asking First,” “Opening a Door,” and “Being a Friend” throughout their high school careers. They created an “AWARENESS DAY” at their schools and in their communities.  In addition, they are already working on creating ideas for next school year AND concepts to be practiced over this summer which encourage safer and healthier decisions for everyone.  They shared pictures with us of males and females taking active roles in making educational posters addressing consent, respect, boundaries, supporting sexual assault survivors ,and dealing with sexual intimacy in high schools. The posters were being put up around the schools AND in popular community places of business for students to see throughout the summer.  The teenagers told us the poster making was motivated by the “Do You Ask?” posters addressing consent at http://www.DoYouAsk.org

Regardless of where you are located geographically, send a note to their Principals and give them a big Kudos for being role models to others.  Here are the 3 e-mail addresses:

lovela@lodi.k12.wi.us
exok@portage.k12.wi.us
ckunau@sdwd.k12.wi.us

Share your thoughts and encourage more students to follow these ideas by leaving your comments in the “Leave a Reply” box below.

Welcome to 2009 Blog

Welcome to our 2009 Blog.  As you can see, we have included posts from our previous blogs from 2007 – 2008 before we took a break to remodel our online community which is now launching in the summer of 2009.

The Date Safe Project blog is a CONVERSATION and so please engage and SHARE with everyone here by utilizing the “Comments” after each post.  You will find posts for parents, educators, students, and caring individuals & organizations addressing dating, intimacy, decision-making, and sexual assault.  While having fun sharing your thoughts with us, please keep comments positive in tone.  THANKS!

Lets make a difference together,
Mike Domitrz

Next Page »