The controversy surrounding the show “Skins” on MTV is being discussed on TV, blogs, and in print around the country. Parents and parenting organizations are protesting and boycotting due to teenagers being portrayed engaging in sexual activity and using illegal drugs. One major advertiser has already pulled Ads from being aired during the show. In this episode of DSP TV, we discuss a component of the show most are not talking about. After watching the video below, SHARE your thoughts in the COMMENTS section.
Remember to share your feedback in the COMMENTS section below. I will personally respond to each person’s reaction.
MTV “Skins” Show Controversy on DSP TV
STOP Etsy from allowing Vendor to sell “Rape” Cards
Etsy.com is currently allowing a vendor to sell disgusting and damaging “Congratulations” cards for rape and sexual assault survivors. WARNING: the image and the words on the card are both disturbing and dangerous. To find the card, all a person needs to do is go to Etsy.com and do a search for “Rape.” The card shows up on the first page of search findings.
WHAT TO DO.
1. Join the Change.org Petition which thousands are quickly signing by clicking here.
2. Go to Etsy.com and REPORT the card as inappropriate and dangerous. Plus, email Etsy.com at community@etsy.com
3. If you are an Etsy Vendor, contact them letting them know you refuse to use their site until they have removed this vendor. This approach was taken with Amazon.com in 2010 and was very effective in getting the “Pedophile’s Guide” removed.
Start 2011 by making a positive difference!
UPDATE as of 1/4/2012
Today, we received an email from Etsy saying they will look into the situation. On a strange note, they asked for their email to be kept CONFIDENTIAL. Anyone else find it odd Etsy wants “Confidentiality” in their response to allowing this item to be sold? Are they trying to avoid being criticized? If so, do the “right thing” and remove the offensive material.
“American Teen” Movie Night
Who would like to watch the new movie “American Teen“ with me LIVE and talk via FaceBook about the movie? Say, “YES” and let me know in the COMMENTS section below which day of the week and time works best for you. Then, we will announce a date and time. If you have NetFlix, it is an “Instant Play” option. If not, you can rent it.
We will have fun with a LIVE discussion via posting on our FaceBook page at www.FaceBook.com/DateSafe. You can watch a preview of the movie here.
REACTION to “Law & Order: SVU” titled “Grey”
This post is a reaction to tonight’s episode of “Law & Order: SVU” based on a college campus (further down on our blog page is the original post about the episode which we posted BEFORE the show aired). Now, is the time to react to the actual episode where several concerns arose.
Please be aware I will be referring to some stereotypes which played out on the show concerning sexual assaults and thus I want to give full disclosure before anyone chooses to read on.
Consider all of the following in tonight’s episode:
1) The show had a person who is obliged to keep a student’s comments confidential BREAK the confidentiality and tell the police information [in the show tonight, the police detective is informed his daughter was the "Buddy" in the "Buddy System"]. This scene is MANY survivor’s nightmare and could deter other survivors from speaking with people on campus who are “Safe” to share with (must keep information confidential).
2) A campus professional referred to the “Buddy System” as a way to protect you (seem to imply females) when you make dumb or stupid mistakes (paraphrasing). A simple statement like “The Buddy System is to help students look out for each other when they see potentially dangerous situations” would have been much more effective and less potentially aimed at referring to women’s mistakes in these cases. The fact is wording such as “dumb or stupid mistakes” is often used against survivors as victim blaming.
3) The District Attorney was the ONLY person who used the term “Grey Rape” and did it in a way that would concern many sexual assault advocates. The DA implied: “He Said. She Said. results in Grey Rape and not having a case” (paraphrase). Once again, students and/or survivors watching the show could become very concerned no one would take their case seriously if they came forward.
4) The campus in this episode hides all sexual assaults as other crimes to avoid the Clery Act. If what was occurring in the show was taking place, federal crime was being violated. The campus wasn’t “avoiding” the Clery Act. They were violating it.
5) The other detectives in the Police Station made almost the EXACT comments I said in my previous video (blog post below) for showing examples of how people blame survivors. No, I had not seen the show beforehand. That coincidence proves how often the same “victim blaming” is used throughout society. In this case, it could have made survivors think that is how police will look at their case and thus hurt the chances of survivors coming forward.
6) No one ever referenced a local sexual assault crisis center and talking with an advocate (another option in addition to talking with the school and/or the authorities). Sexual assault advocates can make a tremendous, positive impact for survivors. Many campuses will encourage the survivor to speak with an advocate from a local crisis center. Unfortunately, not all campuses do this and so the show may be fair in projecting that situation.
7) Then the show switched to a completely different discussion (homicide through abortion) and NEVER came back to resolve all the issues it arose in the first 15 minutes – such as all the issues around campus reporting, campus judiciary systems, sexual assaults on campus involving alcohol, confidentiality, etc… A wound was open and never closed back up.
Yes, I understand this is a TV show. Why all the attention? Because this cast (2 of the co-stars) spoke out in advance of this show as if this episode was going to be progressive in helping survivors. While I absolutely appreciate the media working to make a positive difference, I wish the Producers and Writers would have had someone on set to help them truly create an equally effective drama which would have provided great opportunity for increasing viewer’s awareness.
This show brought up so many different issues with regards to the opening sexual assault case that they easily could have made the entire episode about the first sexual assault case discussed on the broadcast.
What did you think? SHARE YOUR COMMENTS BELOW. I look forward to personally responding to everyone’s comments as the day progresses. I am speaking in Richmond, VA, and so will do my best to respond when possible.
Boycott Amazon and the “Pedophile’s Guide”
UPDATE on 11/11/10:
Since the original post below was published yesterday, AMAZON HAS REMOVED THE BOOK! Thank you, Amazon, for rethinking the initial decision and for making the right choice!!
As of Wednesday, Nov 10th, Amazon is allowing the sale of a book which is meant to “help” pedophiles NOT get caught (part of the book’s title is “Pedophile’s Guide” (read more at MSNBC). Amazon is AWARE of the book and doing nothing to remove it from its shelves – citing 1st Amendment rights. The fact is the 1st Amendment does not demand a corporation sell all publications. Yes, the author may have the legal right to publish the book. You, Amazon, have the legal right NOT TO SELL the book. Many companies exercise Corporate Ethics each and every day. Amazon show you have ethical standards and remove this book immediately.
Until the time you do remove the book, we will be suspending our books, CDs, and DVDs from your online shelves. We have changed the status of all our products listed on Amazon to “suspended.” Unfortunately, they do still appear until the current inventory is used up (not many still in inventory). Yes, we understand the financial consequences of us and others not making our resources available anymore on Amazon. Hopefully, Amazon will face enough financial consequences themselves to change their current stand (what a horrible issue to “stand” for – pedophiles).
Authors and publishers around the world, join us in removing your materials from Amazon. Consumers, join the boycott. Show Amazon how much their customers do CARE!
Smothering vs Connecting
As a parent of a teenager, do you ever feel like you are losing a bit of connection with your teenager? Feels like your son or daughter prefers time alone?
This process for your son or daughter is completely normal. Your teen is seeking out the independence sought in the pubescent years. If your like many parents, this change can be tough at times. You want to be “in their world” to be a positive guidance. Remember: you ARE in their world. You only need to work on fitting more into their schedule.
Instead of asking a million questions all the time, give them space. Join them at more casual times. Watch their favorite TV show with them. Play a video game with him/her. Have dinner around the kitchen table together and have a “Question of the Night.” As corny as this concept may sound, making it a tradition turns into a simple point of conversation you are guaranteed as a family every night. Even if someone already ate, you all sit together for those few minutes.
Are you worried you can’t find a medium your teen wants to share with you? Then ask. Ask your son or daughter, “What do you enjoy the 2 of us doing together? How do YOU enjoy us spending time together?” Listen closely. Don’t disagree. Don’t say why their answer doesn’t work for you. Listen and then find a solution which WILL WORK!
Being able to connect with your teen is essential to helping your teen make better life choices. As parents, we all get frustrated and sometimes disappointed with ourselves. As the famous 80′s song said, “RELAX.” The more stressed you are, the more your kids feel it and are even less likely to want to share with you. Smiling and having fun can go a long way in a home.
Share your thoughts below in our COMMENTS section. I look forward to personally responding!
“Like” page on FaceBook – now we are making waves
You have to love FaceBook for the medium it provides everyone. Today, we discovered someone started a “Like” page against asking for a kiss (specifically the phrase “Can I Kiss You?“). In fact, this person actually is using the BUTTONS we provide here on our website for their image on their FaceBook “Like” page (yes OUR button with our saying and our website).
A PR expert once told me the day websites and people are mocking you – is the day you’ll know when your mission is effecting people on a mainstream level. For us, we simply find it encouraging to know people’s beliefs are being so challenged that they are creating online mediums to discuss it!
By the way, did you know we have a “Friend” page on our FaceBook Fan Page (click here).
Your Interest in the 10% Program
Thank you for contacting us about the 10% Program. Soon, you will be receiving a follow-up email. If you do not receive the email within the next hour, double-check the SPAM FILTER on your email system to insure the email didn’t get blocked (due to the subject matters discussed by our organization, sometimes email filters due block our emails).
You are important to us. Due to the volume of inquiries we receive for the 10% Program, we typically respond within 3-4 weeks. Your patience and understanding is greatly appreciated. We want to help as many non-profits as possible in the coming year.
Please continue to look around the website and discover the many resources available for you!
The General Assembly Parents LOVE to bring to their schools!
When it comes to middle schools and high schools teaching teenagers vital skills for decision-making regarding teen dating, intimacy, a comprehensive safety approach to sex and/or abstinence, MANY school systems do very little because they are afraid of how parents will react. Thus, students learn from each other and we all know teens teaching teens about sex is extremely dangerous.
In fact, today you are hearing more new stories from school systems and communities across the country involving teenage sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Plus, research is showing sexual activity is occurring at much younger ages.
As a parent, how can YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE? Work with your local school administrators to bring an interactive and educational program with long-lasting impact for your students. Bring in a program which does more than “Raise Awareness” – find a presentation which gives students precise skills they can immediately use in their lives. When leaders and educators see parents taking an active role in wanting a specific program for their students, many educators and administrators feel more comfortable moving forward and taking the needed action to bring the program to the school.
One of the most sought after experts in the country for providing these necessary skills to teenagers is Mike Domitrz, the Executive Director of The Date Safe Project Inc. and the author of HELP! My Teen Is Dating. His one-person show for students titled “Can I Kiss You?” is praised by parents, educators, administrators, and TEENAGERS! Unlike many experts who lecture students toward one specific agenda, Domitrz opens students’ minds to making better choices for themselves, their friends, and any potential future dating partners. Because of this unique approach, the “Can I Kiss You?” program is supported by parents on both sides of the heated debate between “Abstinence-Only Education” vs “Comprehensive Sex Ed” taking place in many communities.
Bring this one-of-a-kind General Assembly to your school, students, and community.
Click here for more information.
