Mother of Teen Survivor on Dr. Laura Berman

Dr. Laura Berman had Mike Domitrz as her guest.

Dr. Laura Berman had Mike Domitrz as her guest.

This past Tuesday when Dr. Laura Berman from the Oprah Radio Network (OWN) had me on as her guest expert, the mother of a teenage survivor of sexual assault called into the show. The sexual assault occurred 2 years ago and now the daughter is a teenager.  The Mom was asking how to help her daughter set appropriate boundaries as she approaches dating. The lessons shared on the show are true for all teenagers.

You will hear strategies you will not typically hear anywhere else.

Click here to watch and listen to the clip from the show at http://www.oprah.com/oprahradio/Help-Teens-Stay-Safe-While-Dating-Audio. Then, be sure to come back here and LEAVE A COMMENT below.

 

Written by Mike Domitrz on April 22, 2011

“Hook Up” Culture is a MYTH

Pic from USA Today

USA Today recently published the article More college ‘hookups,’ but more virgins, too” further spreading the myth of college students living in a “Hook Up” culture. Yes, I said, “MYTH.”

In a recent inquiry from a national news outlet, I share the following 4 points with the reporter,

1. How a MYTH? Yes, the concept that the majority of young adults prefer and are actively engaging in a “Hook-Up” culture is false. The majority of people who “Hook-Up” do so when not in a committed relationship. If the person had the choice of “Be in a great relationship with someone” OR “Continually search for a new hook-up”, the answer would be overwhelming, “Be in a great relationship.” Thus, the #1 goal is still a relationship for the majority of students.

For pure sexual selfishness, being in a healthy relationship makes more sense. You have a compatible partner with respected standards and boundaries whom you are very comfortable with. You enjoy sharing the passion you have for each other and with each other (notice I said “in a healthy relationship”).  You don’t have to go “out looking” and hoping for a good “Hook Up” which typically leads to a disappointing experience. USA Today’s article fails to discuss the RESULTS of the typical “Hook Up.”  Students tells us repeatedly how hook ups often end in the “not the best sexual experience I’ve ever had” category.

2. PHASE? Instead of saying we are in a “Hook Up” culture, wouldn’t everyone be more accurate by describing the “hook up phase” many young adults go through?  As a college student gets older, he or she frequently starts looking at their future and starts to express a desire for more stability – which they often connect to a long-term relationship. Thus, DATING and being in a relationship is still the final goal. If we were in a true majority “hook up” culture, very few people would be getting married.

3. THE TERM. “Hooking Up” has always existed. The difference is now instead of saying someone had a “One Nighter”, young adults say, “We hooked up” (as if that term has a ‘nicer’ tone to it).  Don’t kid yourselves that in the 1960s or 1980s college students were not “Hooking Up.”

4. THE CHANGE. The one change occurring is that young adults are more open in their communications with others about “hooking up” than in the past. 30 years ago, you mainly told your closest friends and now people talk freely and more often in detail than in past generations. Plus, the more gender equality is strengthened, the more likely we are to see all genders feel more empowered to explore and experiment without shame based on one’s gender (see next paragraph).

5. The SAME. The component which is still the same is males are more often cheered for “Hooking Up” while females are tagged negative slurs such as “slut.” While progress is being made in our society, we still have a long way to go before we see all genders treated equally for the same sexual decisions and behaviors.

PROBLEMS IN REPORTING OF USA TODAY ARTICLE:

Here is a quick break-down of just a couple of the contradictions in the USA Today article:

Anyone else notice the conversation in the article was completely heterosexual based? How about the quick “glance over” on the growth of the porn industry’s influence on college students?  Here are a few quotes from the article which beg further discussion.

“Ellermann says hooking up is very common among those who are single and not in a relationship.”

Notice “who are single and not in a relationship” – thus implying relationship is the standard.

“It’s kind of like a competition,” she says. “The guys have their choice of whoever they want. So they think, ‘Why would I date?’ “

While the student may believe what she is saying, reality says the statement goes in the MYTH bin. I’ve never been to a campus where most men feel getting with anyone they want on campus is easy (I’ve met a few individuals who believe this about themselves, but never anywhere near the majority).

THE TRUTH in USA TODAY ARTICLE

Even so, “it’s not like everyone is having casual sex all the time,” says sociologist Paula England of Stanford University, whose ongoing research since 2005 has surveyed more than 17,000 students from 20 colleges and universities. “Some people are hooking up a bunch of times with the same person but are not calling it a relationship. Others are never doing anything you would call a hookup.”

Her latest data finds that by senior year, 72% of both sexes reported having at least one hookup, with the average of 9.7 for men and 7.1 for women. Just under one-quarter (24%) of seniors say they are virgins, she says.

Since the average student goes to college for at least 4.5 years, the numbers above show you are talking about just over 2 “hook-ups” a year for males and less than 2 “hook ups” a year for females.  Clearly, the evidence proves the majority of people are not hooking up regularly on weekends. In fact, ONCE A SEMESTER is more like the truth.

Yes, we understand you will find individuals of all ages who live a “hook up” lifestyle, but once again that is not the majority and thus doesn’t represent our culture as an entirety. When discussing “hooking up”, may we all take a breath and stopping freaking out by referring to a “Hook Up” culture on college campuses and change the term to “Hook Up Phase”? Then, we can begin to talk about the decisions people make when choosing to engage in sexual activity with others.

As always, please leave your comments and reactions in the SPEAK YOUR MIND section below!  Where appropriate, I will personally respond to each comment.

Written by Mike Domitrz on March 31, 2011

Sarah: Doc Love Gives BAD Dating ADVICE for a First Kiss

Watch the DSP TV episode below to see the horrible dating advice Doc Love gave in a recent article AND discover how Sarah’s date followed the bad advice.  After watching the video, answer the following question:  WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE SOMEONE ABOUT A FIRST KISS?




REMEMBER TO ANSWER: WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE SOMEONE ABOUT A FIRST KISS?
Tell us in the COMMENT Section!

P.S. You can now get 3 full chapters from the book May I Kiss You? as a free download. Click here to get the preview now (no catches or gimmicks).  Just click the link and scroll down the page.

Written by Mike Domitrz on March 24, 2011

UW Green Bay and Brown County make GREAT TEAM!!

Last night, UW (University of Wisconsin) Green Bay and Brown County teamed up for a great night. First, we met with the Sexual Assault & Alcohol Task Force on campus which was comprised of Law Enforcement from Brown County, Family Services Crisis Center, UWGB students, and staff.  The hour spent with everyone was wonderful.

You can see how much passion everyone involved has for WORKING TOGETHER and helping students.

Next up was the “Can I Kiss You?” program which resulted in standing-room only.  Students were waiting in line for over 1 hour to win the popular “Can I Kiss You?” T-shirts.  Watch the video below of a “Roaming Reporter” going the length of the line the students were waiting in:





A big THANKS goes out to Laura and Amy for doing a spectacular job of promoting the event and getting students on campus excited. They really followed the plan to the detail. Plus, they are both wonderful professionals to work with!!  At the end of the show, the students wanted to send a shout out and here it is:





Next up was the training for the Residence Life staff.  GREAT GROUP of RAs – they were engaged, interactive and clearly a dynamic team of student leaders.  Here are some pics displaying their high energy and enthusiasm:

THANKS EVERYONE for an amazing DAY!!

Written by Mike Domitrz on March 2, 2011

High school students discuss dating, sex, & bystander intervention

High school students at West Allis Central High School discuss their reactions after the “Can I Kiss You?” show at their school where the entire student body participated in the General Assembly.  Academic Dean Laura Wescott and Principal Paul Mielke did a great job insuring everything ran smoothly!

Written by The Date Safe Project Inc on March 1, 2011

Preview Award-Winning DVD & Book Set!

You are about to watch an 8 minute preview of the award-winning DVD HELP! My Teen Is Dating. Realistic Solutions to Tough Conversations. This portion of the video discusses knowing WHEN is the right time for your child to begin dating. ENJOY!!

You will notice the DVD includes one-on-one conversation with Mike Domitrz combined with LIVE FOOTAGE from a Parent-Child workshop (you’ll see interaction with Moms, Dads, and their teenagers).

Click the PLAY BUTTON below to being watching the PREVIEW:

AWARD WINNING DVD & BOOK SET.
The award the DVD has received which means the most to many parents is the ”Best Parenting Book” award by RadicalParenting.com. Why?  Teenagers chose the best books!!  Yes, the books were considered to be the most realistic and helpful for teenagers!!  How often can you find a resource for your children that other kids recommend? Here is what they said when granting the recognition:

“Parents, teens, and tweens love the realistic and flexible solutions given to them in this interactive, entertaining, and useful resource. Regardless of your child’s personality, you will find various options for ways to connect with your son or daughter while helping him/her make better choices.“

PLUS, YOU GET A GREAT DEAL!

Finding a nationally renown expert to help you and your family is difficult and can be extremely expensive (hundreds to thousands of dollars).  With the DVD, you get to bring Mike right into your own home for less than a night out at the movies and dinner for two.  You don’t have to even drive out to your school and drag your teen with you (you know how much she dreads going to Parent-Child educational sessions).  Best of all, you can watch the DVD on any given day in the future to review an idea or concept.  Same with the books. Once you have them, they are yours.  You are getting 2 critically-acclaimed books and an award-winning DVD for only $49.97.  The books normally cost $36.94 by themselves.  Specialized “How To” DVDs typically sell for for $99 to $125 each and you are getting everything for just $49.97.  Plus, shipping is included for FREE.

Order Your Set Now for Only $49.97.
Get award-winning DVD and 2 critically acclaimed books!
30 DAY GUARANTEE + FREE SHIPPING in United States. No Risk.  Get Today!

EDUCATORS KEEP TALKING . . .

When I received the DVD in the mail, I could not wait to watch it. I had read so many good reviews about the program. I watched the program with my mom and we both enjoyed it. The author and presenter of the program was so intuned with the teen population and what is happening in society now.  \My mom was so impressed with the DVD, she is going to recommend it to the PTA at my school.

~Melissa Burmester, bookrusonline.com

As a mother of teens, HELP! My Teen Is Dating has proven to be a powerful tool which allowed me to begin a conversation on a sensitive topic without feeling awkward. After viewing the video with my daughter, I feel she now has the tools and insights to make healthier and safer choices. Plus, Mike Domitrz’s approach has helped remove many of my own fears.

~Laura Stockdale, Community Speakers Forum Coordinator and Parish Episcopal School Board of Trustees (Dallas, TX)

At last, a how-to kit for parents navigating the treacherous territory of teen dating. This DVD will give you the confidence, skills, and information to truly engage your child in a dialogue about the important issues teens face in these relationships.

~ Carolyn Pukl, Health Educator at Lakeland Regional High School (NJ)

Mike Domitrz offers more than practical advice for parents. Throughout, Mike actually demonstrates the tools for talking with your teen about these issues.

~Rob Rephan, Rape Prevention Education Coordinator (CA)

The DVD answers a lot of questions parents have about how far to “get involved,” how to get teenagers to trust parents, and knowing when to trust your child.

~ Nicole Saavedra, Youth Services Coordinator for East Granby (CT)

BUY for only $49.97 TODAY. Receive the award-winning DVD and 2 powerful books!

30 DAY GUARANTEE + FREE SHIPPING in United States.  No Risk. Get Today!

Note from Mike Domitrz

Thanks for visiting us here at The Date Safe Project. Helping teenagers make the safest and smartest choices regarding dating, respect, relationships, boundaries, intimacy, sexual activity, and intervening with friends in dangerous situations is a mission we take seriously each and every day.  As the brother of a sexual assault survivor, I’ve seen first hand the trauma sexual violence can cause a family.  No one should have to experience such pain.

We make it our task to help individuals and families lower the incidents of sexual assault while teaching how to build the healthiest relationships through strong dating skills and tools!  For this reason, we worked relentlessly on creating the DVD and book set that would provide you with the most complete and risk-free resource available for parents of teenagers. Thus, you get our 30 day money-back guarantee and free shipping included with your purchase today!

Written by The Date Safe Project Inc on February 27, 2011

Cleveland High school students talk consent & dating

A big THANKS goes out to ALL the students yesterday in Cleveland high schools who made Valentine’s Day special for all the right reasons (respect and caring for all people).

Watch the video below and LEAVE YOUR FEEDBACK in the Comments Section!!

P.S.  Remember to LEAVE YOUR FEEDBACK in the Comments Section!!

Written by Mike Domitrz on February 15, 2011

Finding the Right Book for Your Class & Students

Educators, when it comes to dating and sexuality, do your students struggle to connect with the many complexities involved with consent, respect, boundaries, bystander intervention, sexual assault, and supporting survivors?  If so, you know how FEW resources are available for these discussions. For most teachers and professors, finding a comprehensive and effective solution for the classroom feels impossible.

Why? Talking about dating and sex can be uncomfortable for people of all ages.  Where do teenagers look for their answers? The internet and friends.  Of course those sources are full of serious and dangerous PROBLEMS!!

May I Kiss You? A Candid Look at Dating, Communication, Respect, & Sexual Assault Awareness is an in-depth look at the realities of intimacy and the dangers that exist in the current dating culture for teenagers and young adults. Written by Mike Domitrz, this candid advice, real-life scenarios, and interactive exercises is revolutionizing each student’s approach to dating & building respect–all while heightening awareness of sexual assault.

While most people simply “make their move” on a date, Domitrz reveals why asking first makes all the difference. Students, parents, educators and professionals are experiencing success with this innovative, respectful and fun approach to dating.

Throughout the book, Domitrz provokes conversations between males and females — each gender taking a close look at behaviors and stereotypes without taking sides. An approach to dating and sexual assault that no other book has ever taken.

cover_front

Plus, a brand new “Instructor’s Guide” is being released in the next few weeks.  Every person who purchases the book today will receive a FREE COPY of the “Instructor’s Guide” e-book.

The Date Safe Project 30 DAY GUARANTEE & FREE SHIPPING
is included with ALL orders in the continental United States.

Inside May I Kiss You?

Concepts & Lessons Discussed:

  • 20 Interactive Exercises
  • Dating Fear Factors
  • Asking? Are you crazy?
  • Rejection
  • Body Language Challenge
  • Values
  • Respect
  • Long-term Relationships
  • Dating Gender Gap
  • Help
  • Privacy
  • Blame
  • Family & Friends
  • Responsible Change
  • Self-Defense
  • Awareness
  • Tips for Healthy & Fun Dating
  • Peer Pressure
  • Alcohol & Date Rape Drugs
  • Parties
  • Sexual Harassment
  • Double Standards
  • Talking
  • Supporting Survivors
  • Opening the Door for Survivors
  • The Pledge for Action
  • Making a Difference
  • …and much more

Reviews of May I Kiss You?

In a cultural environment where all of us continually receive mixed and confusing messages about what a healthy, consenseual relationship might look like, Domitrz lights up the issue with welcomed rays of clarity and insight.

Pat McGann, Ph.D., Director of Outreach, Men Can Stop Rape, Washington, D.C.

Every student, whether male or female, needs to use this asking approach. Every parent who is concerned about their sons’ and daughters’ dating relationship (that’s most of us!) should give this book to their teenagers.

Charles Zastrow, Ph.D., Professor, Department of Social Work, University of Wisconsin – Whitewater

I’m not aware of a book like this. May I Kiss You? gives a healthy, straight-forward method for ensuring respectful dating behavior. It is a must read for parents and teens! Mike puts into words what we’ve known but haven’t explained very well.

- Patti Broomell, Counselor, Hamilton High School

May I Kiss You? is a must read for students in high school and college. It will get your thinking about your current dating practices. If you think you would never sexually assault someone, think again–you may already have!

Sharon Hansen, School Counselor, Berlin Middle School, Berlin Wisconsin

The most important issues facing our youth today have been addressed in this sensational book on dating and sexual assault awareness. The angles taken by Domitrz reach the inner most thoughts of all ages, giving the reader detailed solutions to the entire dating experience. A must read!

Sharlene Stewart, a Parent, Immaculata, PA

Click here to read more reviews

About the Author

Mike Domitrz has been traveling the country for two decades working with and teaching students, parents, educators and professionals about dating, communication, respect and sexual assault awareness. An internationally renown expert and award-winning speaker, Domitrz is known for his unique ability to inspire people of all ages to make powerful changes in their dating behaviors and their treatment of others!

30 DAY GUARANTEE & FREE SHIPPING is included with ALL orders in continental United States.

Get #1 Selling Book Today

and get the INSTRUCTOR’s GUIDE for FREE (due out by March 2nd)!!

PLUS MORE

When Mike Domitrz released his award-winning DVD for parents titled HELP! My Teen Is Dating. Real Solutions to Tough Conversations, educators everywhere started sharing how much the DVD was packed full of great strategies for them to use in the classroom with their students. Makes sense, right? If an approach would help parents teach their teens, why wouldn’t it help teachers in the classroom?

The 85 minute DVD set includes the May I Kiss You? book and the critically-acclaimed book Voices of Courage – all in one BOX set!

You get an 85 minute DVD and 2 books used throughout the world to help create a lifelong positive impact for each reader.  While typically a specialized DVD such as this one sells for around $175.  You get the entire DVD and book set for only $49.95 ($20 May I Kiss You? book + $16.95 Voices of Courage book are INCLUDED). Plus, you get shipping included!!

BONUS:  You also get the new “Instructor’s Guide” e-book sent to you by March 2nd.


Additional REVIEWS

Some books are just plain useful. And welcome.

If you have pre-teens or teenagers in your house or in your life, take a look at May I Kiss You?: A Candid Look at Dating, Communication, Respect & Sexual Assault Awareness by Michael J. Domitrz.
This is a fresh, practical and strong-willed book about mutual respect and understanding. It tells young people how to express their affections in respectful and clear ways. It teaches them how to avoid the assumptions that lead to conflict and problems and it explains what sexual assault is.
Dan Hays in Statesman Journal — appeared on June 15, 2003

May I Kiss You? by Michael J. Domitrz is a sexuality, and awareness guide focusing on the complex contemporary issues surrounding dating, intimacy, and above all, the importance of asking first. Stressing the importance of coming to a mutual understanding concerning the most private moments, and with a firm view of the problems of sexual assault and harassment, May I Kiss You? has the very highest recommendation for all — anyone of any age who seeks to pursue a romantic relationship — and should be readily available in every high-school, college, and community library in the country.
On the complex contemporary issues surrounding dating, September 15, 2003 Reviewer: Midwest Book Review from Oregon, WI USA

Of all the elements of consent, “asking for permission” is the most fundamental. This book provides young adults with both an explanation and practical advice.
Scott Hampton, Director, Ending the Violence, Dover, New Hampshire

Domitrz covers a sensitive topic in a unique manner…He makes you think about the very basic “kiss” and how even that act demands permission.
Catherine Lovecchio, Director of Health & Wellness Education, Villanova University

The book speaks to teens while informing parents and teachers. Domitrz speaks to both genders rather than focusing just on what girls need to do to not be victimized
Jennifer Hegge, Educational Resources Coordinator, Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault

A good common sense approach to creating respectful relationships and avoiding sexual assault, understanding its trauma, and helping a survivor. This book will be valuable for any young person who is thinking about what kind of relationship they want and how to insure that they are healthy.
- Alan Berkowitz, Independent Consultant for Sexual Assault Issues

Domitrz’s work is insightful, identifying the problems that can arise when men and women rely solely on body language, assumptions and interpretation to guide their actions.
- Youth Today (September Issue)

I really enjoy this book. I have recommended it to all of my friends. I would really like to help spread the importance of knowing dating, communication, respect, and Sexual Assault Awareness. I think this book will affect so many people in so many different ways. Everyone should read it!!!!!
- Brooke, A teenager from Milwaukee, WI

I LOVED the book, May I Kiss You? In fact, we teach a Healthy Relationship class in our local middle and high schools, and we have now added a whole presentation on consent. We had wanted to add that component which is why I found out about your book online. It was incredibly clear and helpful, taking my own understanding on quite a journey. Thank-you!!
- Meg Kuhner, Youth Coordinator, Battered Women’s Services & Shelter

Domitrz covers a sensitive topic in a unique manner… He makes you think about the very basic ‘kiss’ and how even that act demands permission.
- Catherine Lovecchio, Health & Wellness Director, Villanova University

Of all the elements of consent, ‘asking for permission’ is the most fundamental. This book provides young adults with both an explanation and practical advice.
- Scott Hampton, Director. Ending the Violence

May I Kiss You? is not only a must read for students but for every adult as well. The realities of dating and intimacy are something that everyone needs to be aware of. It is nice to have something that directs this issue at young men as well as young women. Many books direct this issue primarily at women because they are statistically at greater risk but the realization is that both genders are affected. Young men need to have this awareness too and to have a clearer concept of what dating should be. I like this book because it outlines many of the misconceptions that people have in dating practices. There are so many confusing aspects in dating relationships that people don’t even recognize that can lead to sexual misconduct. This book helps illustrate some of those aspects. May I Kiss You? can benefit all of us. As an educator in the community on sexual assault issues, I have found it to be a useful resource for myself both personally and professionally.
- Susan Kouns, Rape Victim Services, Pathways Inc.

Given the changing nature of dating relationships over the past several decades, Mike’s book provides a much-needed message for today’s society. Everyone who reads this book, from parents to students to administrators and others, will benefit from this refreshing look at the age old topic of relationships. I highly recommend this book, and I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of Mike’s next book!!
- David Dial, Residential Life, Louisiana State University

Domitrz simplifies the confusion of the dating process by urging readers to openly communicate their wants and needs. He empowers both males and females to transcend stereotypical gender roles and embrace a relationship that is free from sexual pressure and misunderstandings.”
- Theresa Asmus, Counselor, Rape Crisis Service of Planned Parenthood of the Rochester/Syracuse Region, New York

The book speaks to teens while informing parents and teachers. Domitrz speaks to both genders rather than focusing just on what girls need to do to not be victimized.
- Jennifer Hegge, Educational Resources Coordinator, Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault

The book is unique because it addresses an important issue in an honest, down to earth fashion. The tone is one of concern and reading the book feels like a conversation with Mike. This easy to read book presents a wealth of information to teens and adults alike. Its light approach to a serious subject is very comprehensive and much needed in the world of dating and exploring relationships.
- Suzanne Trummer, ATODA Coordinator, Watertown School District

The book focuses all of us to take a look at ourselves, our actions, and the ability that we all have to promote change!
- Laura Pennimpede, Rape Crisis Community Educator, Victim Assistance Services

Today, someone was giving away free copies of this book. Always interested in reading material, and always curious about relationship issues, I picked it up and read it…

A lot of the stuff I already knew and understood (or at least thought I did). Other parts were things I’d sorta thought about, but never really sat down and analyzed. Others I just didn’t think about, period.

While reading the book I realized that I’d been treating my last would-be boyfriend badly. I never thought of it as assault, but there were still times when I acted in a relatively intimate manner… and had no idea whether he wanted it or not. I knew he was attracted to me. But I didn’t know if he was comfortable with what I wanted to do. And to be honest, I was so drunk with wanting to be intimate that I was quite willing to risk doing something he didn’t feel ready for. And besides, I was the girl. He could always turn me down, right?

I feel terrible for it now. Even before reading this book I felt badly about it, but now I know how to be aware of that ‘drunkenness’ when I feel it, and how to force it back and remind myself to be respectful of him. After all, it’s not his body that I’m really attracted to, it’s his own personness. His unique soul. How can I disrespect him by only worrying about what “I” want?

I’m glad that I didn’t go any further than I did. And I know there were times when he wanted to do things, but wasn’t comfortable enough to try them – or was worried about how I would feel about them, then or later, and kept himself from doing things he thought were disrespectful. I’m so glad for that. And now I think I can learn to be as strong as he has been.

This book has helped me a lot, even if it’s so simple in what it’s saying. I’m going to pass it around to people I know, even if I think they already know the lesson, just to help remind them what they believe and why. Sometimes reading a book like this can help strengthen your own values.

Anyway.. just wanted to say, thanks for writing this, Mr. Domitrz. And thanks, whoever it was who was giving away the books. At least one person has learned something from them.
- Robin, a college student in Texas

REMEMBER you get the “Instructor’s Guide” for FREE by ordering the book today!

The guide is expected to be completed by March 2nd.

Written by The Date Safe Project Inc on February 13, 2011

Articles and Resources

Articles Written by Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Articles Quoting Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Resources

National Organizations

State Coalitions Against Sexual Assault

Sites Run by Survivors of Sexual Assault

Additional Articles for Survivors.

Articles Written by Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Below, you will find articles and press releases addressing various issues regarding healthy dating and sexual assault awareness. To obtain permission to reprint any or all portions of the below articles written by Mike Domitrz, e-mail by clicking here.

The “Slut Reputation” Discussion ~Mike Domitrz
Abstinence & Consent — Do They Belong Together? ~Mike Domitrz
Tough Audiences Need You! ~Mike Domitrz
Working with Students – Are They Difficult? ~Mike Domitrz
Do Your Kids Ask? Parents Teaching Respect & Healthy Dating ~Mike Domitrz
Date Rape, Rape, Sexual Assault, Prevention, Awareness – the words we use ~Mike Domitrz
Going Beyond What Is Expected ~Mike Domitrz

Articles Quoting Mike Domitrz

First-Date Body Language — Decoded ~MSN Dating & Personals, Spring ’05
May I Kiss You? Talk To Your Teen About Date Rape ~teenagerstoday.com, April ’04
The Girly Guide ~preteenagerstoday.com, Nov ’04
Boy Basics 101 ~preteenagerstoday.com, Dec ’03
Kobe Case Serves as Lesson for Pro Athletes ~Houston Chronicle, Oct ’03
How Parents Can Help Their Teens Through the Dating Years ~Style Weekly, Sep ’03
Kobe Case Disturbs Survivors of Rape ~Grand Junction Sentinel, Aug ’03

*To obtain permission to reprint any or all portions of these articles, E-mail Mike here

NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE. RAINN carries out programs to prevent sexual assault, help victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN uses its extensive entertainment industry and community-based connections to educate more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault.
Toll-Free: (800) 656-HOPE
Website: www.rainn.org

Help My Teen is an organization with over 20 years experience in counseling and connecting families with appropriate situations for their troubled teen. Through a network of associates and programs available we have been able to direct many besieged and divided families towards healing and unification to a common goal – that of appropriate and positive relationships with self and within the family and structure of society.
Toll-Free: (800) 247-1696
Website: http://helpmyteen.com

MaleSurvivor, the National Organization against Male Sexual Victimization, is committed to preventing, healing, and eliminating all forms of sexual victimization of boys and men through treatment, research, education, advocacy, and activism. The organization maintains a web site (www.malesurvivor.org) that includes a wealth of information for survivors and professionals about male sexual victimization as well as a Discussion Board and live Chat Room where survivors can network and support one another, anonymously if they wish. MaleSurvivor also publishes a newsletter and sponsors periodic conferences and healing retreats.
Website: www.malesurvivor.org

AdvocateWeb is the largest internet resource dealing with sexual misconduct, exploitation, and abuse of clients by mental health professionals, medical professionals, clergy, lawyers, educators, and law enforcement officials. AdvocateWeb offers extensvie free resources for victims, survivors, their families, friends, victim advocates, and professionals seeking to address this problem.
Website: www.advocateweb.org

The Awareness Center is the Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault (JCASA). JCASA is dedicated to addressing sexual violence in the Jewish communities around the world.
Toll-Free: (443) 857-5560
Website: www.theawarenesscenter.org

The Arizona Department of Health Services: Sexual Violence Prevention & Education provides rape prevention education to students, professionals, and community members. These interventions have covered all racial and ethnic groups throughout Arizona – including Native American and Hispanic groups.
Toll-Free: (602) 542-7343
Website: www.azrapeprevention.org

The Date Safe Project is committed to being a national leader in the mission to teach youth and adults that “asking first” makes all the difference in creating safer intimacy and decreasing occurrences of sexual assault. By producing interactive presentations, educational resources, and other national initiatives, we teach how a better understanding of consent leads to healthier dating and to a greater awareness of the many issues surrounding human sexuality and sexual assault.
Toll-Free: (800) 329-9650
Website: www.datesafeproject.org

National Domestic Violence Registry is the first national database model for domestic violence convictions available to the public.  We have the opportunity to provide a major program that will vastly help in the prevention of domestic violence, guide citizens to making more informed decisions about those they date, exponentially raise awareness nationally for domestic violence incidences, and provide the opportunity to influence the history of crime prevention throughout the United States. Visit http://www.domesticviolencedatabase.org.

FaithTrust Institute is a national multifaith organization is working to end sexual and domestic violence. WE provide communities and advocates with the tools and knowledge they need to address religious and cultural issues related to abuse. Through training, consultation, and educational materials, we equip religious leaders sexual and domestic violence in their communities.
Website: www.faithtrustinstitute.org

National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) is a comprehensive collection and distribution center for information, statistics, and resources related to sexual violence. It serves as a resource for coalitions, rape crisis centers, allied organizations, and others working to eliminate sexual assault. The NSVRC does not provide direct services to sexual assault victims but rather supports those who do.
Toll-Free: (877) 739-3895
Website: http://www.nsvrc.org

SAKHI provides services for South Asian Women dealing with Domestic Violence.

Stop It Now! is a national non-profit working to prevent child sexual abuse using the tools of public health. Since 1992, our public policy, public education, and research programs have protected children by emphasizing adult and community responsibility.
Toll-Free: (888) PREVENT
Website: www.stopitnow.org

Security On Campus, Inc. is the only national non-profit organization devoted exclusively to providing services to the victims of violence on college campuses and to educate students. When SOC works with victims, university policies are changed for the better.
Toll-Free: (888) 251-7959
Website: www.securityoncampus.org

Men Can Stop Rape mobilizes male youth to prevent men’s violence against women. The organization builds young men’s capacity to challenge harmful aspects of traditional masculinity, to value alternative visions of male strength, and to embrace their vital role as allies with women and girls in fostering healthy relationships and gender equity.
Offices: (202) 265-6530
Website: www.mencanstoprape.org

Gift From Within A non-profit organization with educational materials for survivors of trauma, advocates and counselors.
Website: http://giftfromwithin.org/

SelfGrowth.com A complete guide to information about Self -Improvement, Personal Growth and Self Help on the Internet. It is designed to be an organized directory, with articles and references to thousands of other Web Sites on the World Wide Web.

Voices of Strength a new series of survivors sharing their words.

EbooksAndMoreForYou Offering ebooks on “Child Abuse Recovery.” Providing valuable information to people who were abused at any age and lists access to 1000s of recovery organizations in over 100 languages.

A Men’s Project (AMP) has links related to Men and Boys in North America.

STATE COALITIONS AGAINST SEXUAL ASSAULT

To find local rape crisis centers, click on the name of your state coalition against sexual assault and you will be forwarded to their website. If they do not have a working website, then call the number provided. They will be happy to help you the closest rape crisis center.

 

Alabama Coalition Against Rape
(334) 264-0123
acar.org

Alaska Network on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(907) 586-3650
andvsa.org

Arizona Sexual Assault Network (AzSAN)
(480) 831-1986
azsan.org

Arkansas Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(866) 63-ACASA
acasa.ws

California Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(916) 446-2520
calcasa.org

Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CCASA)
(303) 861-7033
ccasa.org

Connecticut Sexual Assault Crisis Services, Inc. (CONNSACS)
(888) 999-5545
connsacs.org

Sexual Assault Network of Delaware (SAND) c/o CONTACT Delaware
Crisis Line in Delaware: (800) 262-9800
contactlifeline.org

District of Columbia Rape Crisis Center
202-232-0789
dcrcc.org

Florida Council Against Sexual Violence
(850) 297-2000
fcasv.org

Georgia Network to End Sexual Assault
(866) 354-3672
gnesa.org

Dekalb (Georgia) Rape Crisis Program
(404) 377-1429
dekalbrapecrisiscenter.org

Hawaii Coalition for the Prevention of Sexual Assault
(808) 733-9038

Idaho Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence
(800) 669-3176
idvsa.org

Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault (ICASA)
(217) 753-4117
icasa.org

Indiana Coalition Against Sexual Assault, Inc. (INCASA)
(317) 423-0233
incasa.org

Iowa Coalition Against Sexual Assault (Iowa CASA)
(515) 244-7424
iowacasa.org

Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence
(785) 266-1874
kcsdv.org

Kentucky Association of Sexual Assault Programs, Inc.
(502) 226-2704
kyasap.net

Louisiana Foundation Against Sexual Assault (LaFASA)
(985) 345-5995
(888) 995-7273 (Toll-free number from Louisiana)
lafasa.org

Maine Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(800) 871-7741
mecasa.org

Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(410) 974-4507
mcasa.org

Jane Doe Inc., The Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence
(877) 785-2020
janedoe.org

Michigan Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence
(517) 381-4663
mcadsv.org

Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(800) 964-8847
mncasa.org

Mississippi Coalition Against Sexual Assault
Department of Health – Mississippi State
(888) 987-9011
mscasa.org

Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
(573) 634-4161
mocadsv.org

Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault
(816) 931-4527
mocsa.org

Montana Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence
(406) 443-7794
mcadsv.com

Nebraska Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Coalition (NDVSAC)
(402) 476-6256
ndvsac.org

Nevada Coalition Against Sexual Violence
(702) 914-6878 not a hotline number
Crisis Hotline: (800) 656-HOPE
ncasv.org

New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
Hotline: (800) 277-5570
nhcadsv.org

New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault -NJCASA
(609) 631-4450
Hotline: (800) 601-7200
njcasa.org

New Mexico Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs, Inc.
(505) 883-8020
nmcsap.com

New York State Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NYSCASA, Inc.)
(518) 482-4222
nyscasa.org

North Carolina Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NCCASA)
(919) 871-1015
nccasa.org

North Dakota Council on Abused Women’s Services – Coalition Against Sexual Assault in ND
(888) 255-6240
(701) 255-6240
ndcaws.org

Ohio Coalition on Sexual Assault (OCOSA)
(888) 336-2672
goldbamboo.com

Oklahoma Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(405) 524-0700
ocadvsa.org

Oregon Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence (OCADSV)
(503) 230-1951
ocadsv.com

Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape (PCAR)
(888) 772-PCAR
(717) 728-9740
pcar.org

Rhode Island Sexual Assault Coalition
(800) 494-8100
dayoneri.org

South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault
(803) 256-2900
(800) 260-9293
sccadvasa.org

South Dakota Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse
(605) 945-0869
southdakotacoalition.org

Tennessee Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
(615) 386-9406
(800) 356-6767 (Tennessee)
(800) 7997233 (National Domestic Violence Hotline)
tcadsv.org

Texas Association Against Sexual Assault (TAASA)
(512) 474-7190
taasa.org

Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(801) 746-0404
(888) 421-1100
ucasa.org

Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(802) 223-1302
(800) 489-7273
vtnetwork.org

Virginia Sexaul and Domestic Violence Action Alliance
(434) 979-9002
vadv.org

Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs
(800) 775-8013
wcsap.org

West Virginia Foundation for Rape Information & Services
(304) 366-9500
fris.org

Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault (WCASA)
Phone/TTY: (608) 257-1516
wcasa.org

Wyoming Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault
(800) 799-7233
wyomingdvsa.org

Sites run by Survivors of Sexual Assault

Powerful words of Nika
Rape Counsel
HOLLY’S FIGHT TO STOP VIOLENCE
Sadly Normal
Finding the Light in the Darkness
Survivors can Thrive!
Beautiful Dreamer – Journal
Angela Shelton’s Blog

**If you are a survivor of sexual assault who has an internet site or blog, please e-mail us at info@DateSafeProject.org with the link you want us to add to this section of our website. All we request is for you to first have a link to http://www.DateSafeProject.org.

Additional Articles for Survivors of Sexual Assault

Legal Tools for Survivors of Sexual Assault

Written by The Date Safe Project Inc on February 12, 2011

All Guys are Jerks and Women are Trouble

How often have you heard a teenager, student, and/or parents make statements such as, “All guys are jerks” and/or “All girls are trouble“? Often people use derogatory generalizations to scare younger individuals from dating and/or to help a friend “feel better” after being unhappy in a relationship. Watch this episode of DSP TV to see if such statements are helpful.

Written by Mike Domitrz on December 14, 2010

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