Sex Ed: For Parents or Students (preteens or teens)?

Who needs Sex Ed more? Parents or students (preteens or teens)? From Abstinence Only to Comprehensive Sex Ed, Sex Ed has various meanings and belief systems attached to the concept depending on your community, upbringing, school system, government, and many more variables.

While many towns and cities around the country debate how and if “Sex Ed” should be handled IN the school, WHO needs “Sex Ed” becomes an interesting question. This past summer in an article that didn’t capture the media’s attention, a college student stated he thought PARENTS need Sex Ed today.

As I travel the world speaking with parents, many Moms and Dads share real stories of how naive their fellow parents are when it comes to dating and sexual activity among their pre-teen and teenager sons and daughters. Parents constantly share how everyone wants to believe, “Not my child.”

For parents who do believe in discussing Sex Ed at home, some if not many often don’t know HOW to talk about the issue – besides trying to scare their child away from intimacy. When you share with parents about a sexual fad taking place among school age children, many Moms and Dads look at you with disbelief. Sometimes, you even hear someone say, “I’m 45 years old and have never tried that – and never would.” Their children are thinking and sometimes acting beyond their parent’s imagination.

What do you think? Do today’s parents need Sex Education? What do you think parents need to learn and/or discover? Since many people say, “That is a subject which should be taught at home,” is home the ONLY right place for teaching “Sex Ed”?  Would teaching both AT HOME and AT SCHOOL be more effective or less? Do most parents at home have the right information for teaching the subject matter? If you think parents do need Sex Ed, how would you recommend providing the education and actually getting parents to attend?

Share your thoughts and ideas in the COMMENTS section below.

Written by Mike Domitrz on December 16, 2011

Respectful Children & Sexual Decision-Making

My son is very respectful.
Why would I need to worry about him sexually assaulting someone?

or

My daughter is very sharp.
She wouldn’t let herself be with someone who mistreats her.

Lets start with the “respectful” question:
Most “respectful” and “sharp” males and females still learn about aspects of intimacy through their friends and what they see portrayed on television and in the movies. These sources of education promote disrespectful behavior by teaching males that if they are “smooth,” they can just make their moves and their partner will want them.

Did you know a child believing he or she is automatically respectful can lead to more problems. How?  They assume everything they do is respectful because they would never do anything wrong.

Example of a young person in a sexual situation: Kids tell themselves, “I would never do anything to hurt this person. Clearly, they want this sexual activity – because if they didn’t, the signs wouldn’t be this obvious that they do want me.”  Your child leans on their view of “respect” as an excuse for, “I wouldn’t do anything wrong” – instead of insuring they take the right precautions and QUESTION whether they are acting in the most respectful manner possible.

When someone just “make their moves,” he or she takes a tremendous risk of engaging in behavior that their partners do not want – thus leading to committing a sexual assault. Parents need to talk with their sons and daughters about truly respecting a partner by understanding how valuable and special each person is as a human being (including the body, the mind, sexuality, personality, and values). Sons and daughters need to learn that the only way you can be sure what your date wants is to “ask” your date first.  The key is knowing HOW to provide your teen the skills to “Asking First.”

Lets continue with the “sharp” question:
You know many intelligent people who make mistakes – sometimes bad mistakes.  Intelligence does not free anyone from poor choices. Plus, your child is not the only one who has an impact on the situation. What if your child makes all the right choices and someone else still forces him or her self onto your child, especially at a party or friend’s house?

To increase the chance for creating a safe environment, you want to give your daughter (or son) the SKILLS NEEDED to handle all different kinds of scenarios (good, bad, and sometimes worse).  Some parents mistakenly think, “I’ll teach my children self-defense or how to to fight.  That will stop anyone from messing with them.”  Wrong!  While self-defense maybe another tool your child could possess, it does not guarantee safety in intimate moments (especially when your child gets older and may consume alcohol).  Your child needs specific tools and skills.  You want to fill their toolbox of awareness with lots of options for them to utilize.

- written by Mike Domitrz, Founder & Executive Director, The Date Safe Project, Inc.
To obtain permission to reprint any or all portions, E-mail Mike here

Have you heard about the award-winning DVD HELP! My Teen Is Dating. Realistic Solutions to Tough Conversations? The award the DVD has received which means the most to many parents is the ”Best Parenting Book” award by RadicalParenting.com.

Why?  Teenagers chose the best books!!  Yes, the books were considered to be the most realistic and helpful for teenagers!!  How often can you find a resource for your teenagers that other teens recommend? Here is what they said when granting the recognition:

“Parents, teens, and tweens love the realistic and flexible solutions given to them in this interactive, entertaining, and useful resource. Regardless of your child’s personality, you will find various options for ways to connect with your son or daughter while helping him/her make better choices.“

DISCOVER MORE HERE.

 

Written by The Date Safe Project Inc on February 22, 2011

Parents talking with their sons and daughters about dating, intimacy, consent, intervening, and supporting survivors

Written by Mike Domitrz on January 26, 2011

Timing IS everything

How often does the following happen to you? You’ve just got home from work. You’re exhausted from the day. Upon you entering your home, your partner is waiting to tell you ALL about his/her day and how rough it went (ALL the details). Do you listen? Yes. You want to support your partner. Is doing so difficult? Yes. You are tired. This is not an ideal time for you to be supportive. When would be ideal time? After you’ve had some down time and been able to gather yourself from the day.

WHEN do we often choose to talk with our teens about important issues? For many parents, the time is later in the evening when both parents are home and/or when your teen is finally done with all their homework and school activities (especially with practices, meetings, etc…).

The timing is awful. Your son or daughter is tired and their mind is over stimulated. Many teenagers are especially sensitive and emotionally when they are tired. The best time is after they’ve had a little time at home to relax and hang out, BUT not so late that they are getting tired. Dinner time is frequently a good time for many families.

Next time you have an urgent lesson you want to share with your teen, STOP yourself and ask, “Is this timing ideal?” If not, wait a day or two when your teen will ABSORB the lesson and use it throughout their life. Choose the wrong time and you lose a golden opportunity. Suddenly, you have to find the right time to make up for your bad timing (bringing up an issue AGAIN when it wasn’t handled well the first time is much more difficult than handling it right the first time).

You know the wonderful feeling you get when you make a connection with your teen. Know his/her TIME and you increase the chance to have the time of your life in a thought-provoking conversation with him or her!

SHARE your experiences with having important talks below in the LEAVE A COMMENT section. I will personally respond to each comment.

Written by Mike Domitrz on September 1, 2010

Technology verses Words

When teaching verbal skills, many Moms, Dads, and educators continually share how teens would rather text than talk.  To their credit, many teens are fantastic at multi-tasking and quickly absorbing technology uses to fit their lifestyle.  The unfortunate consequence is these skills are happening at the cost of losing one-on-one verbal tools.  What do you do?

Use technology to show the need for verbal communication! Send texts to your teenager which could be interpreted various ways (commonly happens when texting is done frequently).  This way, you are utilizing a medium they love (texting) to bring them to verbally discuss the confusion with you.  I know! I know!  Stop before you say, “The teen may just attempt to text back and say, ‘Explain’(or a slang text phrase in place of the word).”  Then, walk up to your teen and ask them what was confusing.

You OWN the confusion so the conversation is not about them misusing technology.  As you clear up the confusion, subtly ask, “How do you handle it when this happens with friends?  Misunderstanding each other’s texts?  Do you ever just call to clear it up quicker than texting?“

If they say, “No,” follow through with, “Why not? Isn’t talking to your friends a lot of fun?”  Be GENUINE in your approach. No one likes to be lectured to.  Ask because you WANT to know (not just to make YOUR POINT).  The more you understand your teen, the more likely you will be able to connect with him/her verbally!!  Thus being a positive role model for verbal communication.

YOUR TURN: Share how you use TECHNOLOGY to HELP enhance the verbal skills of teens.  Ask us questions based on your own experiences.  I will answer each COMMENT personally!

Written by Mike Domitrz on August 10, 2010

Articles & Resources

Articles Written by Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Articles Quoting Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Resources

National Organizations

State Coalitions Against Sexual Assault

Sites Run by Survivors of Sexual Assault

Articles Written by Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Below, you will find articles and press releases addressing various issues regarding healthy dating and sexual assault awareness. To obtain permission to reprint any or all portions of the below articles written by Mike Domitrz, e-mail by clicking here.

The “Slut Reputation” Discussion ~Mike Domitrz
Abstinence & Consent — Do They Belong Together? ~Mike Domitrz
Tough Audiences Need You! ~Mike Domitrz
Working with Students – Are They Difficult? ~Mike Domitrz
Do Your Kids Ask? Parents Teaching Respect & Healthy Dating ~Mike Domitrz
Date Rape, Rape, Sexual Assault, Prevention, Awareness – the words we use ~Mike Domitrz
Going Beyond What Is Expected ~Mike Domitrz

Articles Quoting Mike Domitrz

First-Date Body Language — Decoded ~MSN Dating & Personals, Spring ’05
May I Kiss You? Talk To Your Teen About Date Rape ~teenagerstoday.com, April ’04
The Girly Guide ~preteenagerstoday.com, Nov ’04
Boy Basics 101 ~preteenagerstoday.com, Dec ’03
Kobe Case Serves as Lesson for Pro Athletes ~Houston Chronicle, Oct ’03
How Parents Can Help Their Teens Through the Dating Years ~Style Weekly, Sep ’03
Kobe Case Disturbs Survivors of Rape ~Grand Junction Sentinel, Aug ’03

*To obtain permission to reprint any or all portions of these articles, E-mail Mike here

NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE. RAINN carries out programs to prevent sexual assault, help victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN uses its extensive entertainment industry and community-based connections to educate more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault.
Toll-Free: (800) 656-HOPE
Website: www.rainn.org

Help My Teen is an organization with over 20 years experience in counseling and connecting families with appropriate situations for their troubled teen. Through a network of associates and programs available we have been able to direct many besieged and divided families towards healing and unification to a common goal – that of appropriate and positive relationships with self and within the family and structure of society.
Toll-Free: (800) 247-1696
Website: http://helpmyteen.com

MaleSurvivor, the National Organization against Male Sexual Victimization, is committed to preventing, healing, and eliminating all forms of sexual victimization of boys and men through treatment, research, education, advocacy, and activism. The organization maintains a web site (www.malesurvivor.org) that includes a wealth of information for survivors and professionals about male sexual victimization as well as a Discussion Board and live Chat Room where survivors can network and support one another, anonymously if they wish. MaleSurvivor also publishes a newsletter and sponsors periodic conferences and healing retreats.
Website: www.malesurvivor.org

AdvocateWeb is the largest internet resource dealing with sexual misconduct, exploitation, and abuse of clients by mental health professionals, medical professionals, clergy, lawyers, educators, and law enforcement officials. AdvocateWeb offers extensvie free resources for victims, survivors, their families, friends, victim advocates, and professionals seeking to address this problem.
Website: www.advocateweb.org

The Awareness Center is the Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault (JCASA). JCASA is dedicated to addressing sexual violence in the Jewish communities around the world.
Toll-Free: (443) 857-5560
Website: www.theawarenesscenter.org

The Arizona Department of Health Services: Sexual Violence Prevention & Education provides rape prevention education to students, professionals, and community members. These interventions have covered all racial and ethnic groups throughout Arizona – including Native American and Hispanic groups.
Toll-Free: (602) 542-7343
Website: www.azrapeprevention.org

The Date Safe Project is committed to being a national leader in the mission to teach youth and adults that “asking first” makes all the difference in creating safer intimacy and decreasing occurrences of sexual assault. By producing interactive presentations, educational resources, and other national initiatives, we teach how a better understanding of consent leads to healthier dating and to a greater awareness of the many issues surrounding human sexuality and sexual assault.
Toll-Free: (800) 329-9650
Website: www.datesafeproject.org

National Domestic Violence Registry is the first national database model for domestic violence convictions available to the public.  We have the opportunity to provide a major program that will vastly help in the prevention of domestic violence, guide citizens to making more informed decisions about those they date, exponentially raise awareness nationally for domestic violence incidences, and provide the opportunity to influence the history of crime prevention throughout the United States. Visit http://www.domesticviolencedatabase.org.

FaithTrust Institute is a national multifaith organization is working to end sexual and domestic violence. WE provide communities and advocates with the tools and knowledge they need to address religious and cultural issues related to abuse. Through training, consultation, and educational materials, we equip religious leaders sexual and domestic violence in their communities.
Website: www.faithtrustinstitute.org

National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) is a comprehensive collection and distribution center for information, statistics, and resources related to sexual violence. It serves as a resource for coalitions, rape crisis centers, allied organizations, and others working to eliminate sexual assault. The NSVRC does not provide direct services to sexual assault victims but rather supports those who do.
Toll-Free: (877) 739-3895
Website: http://www.nsvrc.org

SAKHI provides services for South Asian Women dealing with Domestic Violence.

Stop It Now! is a national non-profit working to prevent child sexual abuse using the tools of public health. Since 1992, our public policy, public education, and research programs have protected children by emphasizing adult and community responsibility.
Toll-Free: (888) PREVENT
Website: www.stopitnow.org

Security On Campus, Inc. is the only national non-profit organization devoted exclusively to providing services to the victims of violence on college campuses and to educate students. When SOC works with victims, university policies are changed for the better.
Toll-Free: (888) 251-7959
Website: www.securityoncampus.org

Men Can Stop Rape mobilizes male youth to prevent men’s violence against women. The organization builds young men’s capacity to challenge harmful aspects of traditional masculinity, to value alternative visions of male strength, and to embrace their vital role as allies with women and girls in fostering healthy relationships and gender equity.
Offices: (202) 265-6530
Website: www.mencanstoprape.org

Gift From Within A non-profit organization with educational materials for survivors of trauma, advocates and counselors.
Website: http://giftfromwithin.org/

SelfGrowth.com A complete guide to information about Self -Improvement, Personal Growth and Self Help on the Internet. It is designed to be an organized directory, with articles and references to thousands of other Web Sites on the World Wide Web.

Voices of Strength a new series of survivors sharing their words.

EbooksAndMoreForYou Offering ebooks on “Child Abuse Recovery.” Providing valuable information to people who were abused at any age and lists access to 1000s of recovery organizations in over 100 languages.

STATE COALITIONS AGAINST SEXUAL ASSAULT

To find local rape crisis centers, click on the name of your state coalition against sexual assault and you will be forwarded to their website. If they do not have a working website, then call the number provided. They will be happy to help you the closest rape crisis center.

Alabama Coalition Against Rape
(334) 264-0123
acar.org

Alaska Network on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(907) 586-3650
andvsa.org

Arizona Sexual Assault Network (AzSAN)
(480) 831-1986
azsan.org

Arkansas Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(866) 63-ACASA
acasa.ws

California Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(916) 446-2520
calcasa.org

Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CCASA)
(303) 861-7033
ccasa.org

Connecticut Sexual Assault Crisis Services, Inc. (CONNSACS)
(888) 999-5545
connsacs.org

Sexual Assault Network of Delaware (SAND) c/o CONTACT Delaware
Crisis Line in Delaware: (800) 262-9800
contactlifeline.org

District of Columbia Rape Crisis Center
202-232-0789
dcrcc.org

Florida Council Against Sexual Violence
(850) 297-2000
fcasv.org

Georgia Network to End Sexual Assault
(866) 354-3672
gnesa.org

Dekalb (Georgia) Rape Crisis Program
(404) 377-1429
dekalbrapecrisiscenter.org

Hawaii Coalition for the Prevention of Sexual Assault
(808) 733-9038

Idaho Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence
(800) 669-3176
idvsa.org

Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault (ICASA)
(217) 753-4117
icasa.org

Indiana Coalition Against Sexual Assault, Inc. (INCASA)
(317) 423-0233
incasa.org

Iowa Coalition Against Sexual Assault (Iowa CASA)
(515) 244-7424
iowacasa.org

Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence
(785) 266-1874
kcsdv.org

Kentucky Association of Sexual Assault Programs, Inc.
(502) 226-2704
kyasap.net

Louisiana Foundation Against Sexual Assault (LaFASA)
(985) 345-5995
(888) 995-7273 (Toll-free number from Louisiana)
lafasa.org

Maine Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(800) 871-7741
mecasa.org

Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(410) 974-4507
mcasa.org

Jane Doe Inc., The Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence
(877) 785-2020
janedoe.org

Michigan Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence
(517) 381-4663
mcadsv.org

Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(800) 964-8847
mncasa.org

Mississippi Coalition Against Sexual Assault
Department of Health – Mississippi State
(888) 987-9011
mscasa.org

Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
(573) 634-4161
mocadsv.org

Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault
(816) 931-4527
mocsa.org

Montana Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence
(406) 443-7794
mcadsv.com

Nebraska Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Coalition (NDVSAC)
(402) 476-6256
ndvsac.org

Nevada Coalition Against Sexual Violence
(702) 914-6878 not a hotline number
Crisis Hotline: (800) 656-HOPE
ncasv.org

New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
Hotline: (800) 277-5570
nhcadsv.org

New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault -NJCASA
(609) 631-4450
Hotline: (800) 601-7200
njcasa.org

New Mexico Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs, Inc.
(505) 883-8020
nmcsap.com

New York State Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NYSCASA, Inc.)
(518) 482-4222
nyscasa.org

North Carolina Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NCCASA)
(919) 871-1015
nccasa.org

North Dakota Council on Abused Women’s Services – Coalition Against Sexual Assault in ND
(888) 255-6240
(701) 255-6240
ndcaws.org

Ohio Coalition on Sexual Assault (OCOSA)
(888) 336-2672
goldbamboo.com

Oklahoma Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(405) 524-0700
ocadvsa.org

Oregon Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence (OCADSV)
(503) 230-1951
ocadsv.com

Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape (PCAR)
(888) 772-PCAR
(717) 728-9740
pcar.org

Rhode Island Sexual Assault Coalition
(800) 494-8100
dayoneri.org

South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault
(803) 256-2900
(800) 260-9293
sccadvasa.org

South Dakota Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse
(605) 945-0869
southdakotacoalition.org

Tennessee Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
(615) 386-9406
(800) 356-6767 (Tennessee)
(800) 7997233 (National Domestic Violence Hotline)
tcadsv.org

Texas Association Against Sexual Assault (TAASA)
(512) 474-7190
taasa.org

Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(801) 746-0404
(888) 421-1100
ucasa.org

Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(802) 223-1302
(800) 489-7273
vtnetwork.org

Virginia Sexaul and Domestic Violence Action Alliance
(434) 979-9002
vadv.org

Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs
(800) 775-8013
wcsap.org

West Virginia Foundation for Rape Information & Services
(304) 366-9500
fris.org

Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault (WCASA)
Phone/TTY: (608) 257-1516
wcasa.org

Wyoming Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault
(800) 799-7233
wyomingdvsa.org

Sites run by Survivors of Sexual Assault

Powerful words of Nika
Rape Counsel
HOLLY’S FIGHT TO STOP VIOLENCE
Sadly Normal
Finding the Light in the Darkness
Survivors can Thrive!
Beautiful Dreamer – Journal
Angela Shelton’s Blog

**If you are a survivor of sexual assault who has an internet site or blog, please e-mail us at info@DateSafeProject.org with the link you want us to add to this section of our website. All we request is for you to first have a link to http://www.DateSafeProject.org.

Written by The Date Safe Project Inc on February 9, 2010

Are You and Your Child Fully Ready?

We need to be blunt here: sexual dangers are monumental for today’s children, especially once they are teenagers. The sooner you begin to prepare your child, the better. What precise plan have you put into place to help your daughter (or son) have the needed skills to handle what she will face (beyond just the “Don’t Do It” talk)? Are you waiting until your child is older? If so, you are likely to be too late. Are you starting to prepare now? Good! You are taking the right approach.

With TV, teen magazines, music, movies, peers sharing at school, sexting, and the Internet promoting sexual activity, your daughters (and sons) are exposed to images making sexual activity look exciting, popular, and appear to be “what everyone is doing.”  The pressure for your son or daughter to be more sexual, including engaging in sexual activity, is stronger than ever. With all the talk of fondling, oral sex, and intercourse among today’s youth, how do you help protect your daughter (and son)?

You will notice the rest of this page refers to “daughter” when referencing a specific gender. Every point we will discuss pertains to BOTH sons and daughters! Referring to one gender makes reading an article easier to follow for everyone.

While some parents like to joke about, “I just won’t let my daughter go out,” that approach is obviously not healthy for a teenager. They need independence and to experience a social life away from Mom and Dad. Of course, that means you can’t be there all the time AND situations can go wrong.  There is no way to guarantee 100% prevention of danger.  What do you do?

You know the old parenting tactics of the past will not work with your teenager. Letting her find out on her own is way too dangerous and scary!  So where do you findCURRENT STRATEGIES for talking to you teen?

Have you tried talking to your teen about dating, sex, and intimacy? Did you get one of the following famous responses from your teen?

  • Rolling of the eyes
  • The look of “You don’t know anything.“
  • “Yea, Yea, Whatever” as they walk away.
  • “I am not talking with YOU about this.“
  • “I’m not doing any of this stuff anyways. You don’t need to worry.“
  • “I get it, okay?“

Did you know most teenagers WANT to talk with their parents about dating, sex, and decision-making?  Yes, you read correctly.  Teenagers would prefer to hear from their parents and be “in the know” than to look naive with their friends.  So why doesn’t your daughter talk to you in detail about sex and/or the sexual feelings she is experiencing?  

No matter how hard you try, you can’t force her to open up with you (after all, you don’t know how much she is really sharing). Finding out HOW TO get the conversation rolling the right way with your daughter is the first step. Do you know the biggest obstacle your teen has about sharing with you?

FEAR of Judgement.  The kind of fear that doesn’t go away by simply saying, “You can say anything to me.”  By utilizing specific approaches which have a proven track record of working with teenagers of all backgrounds and demographics, parents are learning how to overcome this fear factor teenagers possess about talking with Mom and Dad about dating, sex, intimacy, and decision-making.  The key is finding a source who can provide you with proven strategies for getting your teen to talk with you AND who can help insure you say the RIGHT WORDS once your teen is listening.

Mike Domitrz, critically-acclaimed author, expert, and internationally renown speaker, travels the world each year working with students and parents.  As the Executive Director of The Date Safe Project, he is one of the country’s most sought-after speakers for helping parents and their teens discuss respect, boundaries, dating, and sexual decision-making.

Mike’s mission to help you and your family is personal. In 1989, Mike experienced the devastation sexual assault brings to a family when his youngest sister was sexually assaulted.  The pain he saw in his sister, his parents and his entire family was devastating. He has since dedicated his life to helping teenagers and their parents get the necessary tools for building the healthiest foundations.

As a father of 4 children (3 current teenagers), Mike also understands how each day can bring new challenges.  How can Mike help prepare your family more than the hundreds of free websites available filled with statistics and Frequently Asked Questions?

Research shows Mike’s approach with male and female teenagers results in a drastic increase in students changing their beliefs.

While working with school districts throughout the country, students confined in Mike. They are concerned about the overly sexualized world they are experiencing (including their fears: from being “dumped” to being “used” to the tragedy of sexual assault). Before leaving each community, he asks the students what it will take for teenagers to listen to their parents. Knowing this answer can revolutionize a parent’s relationship with their teens.

On the same day he talks with the students, Mike meets with the parents.  Moms & Dads equally share frustration and disappointment in not getting their daughters to take their advice.  Continually, parents stress how different each of their children are and how it seems nothing works at times. Then Mike asks, “What has worked?”  Thus accumulating the most successful strategies parents around the world are using.  Wouldn’t that be interesting information to have?

When you combine the “best strategies” from parents plus what teens state they NEED to engage with their parents (along with Mike’s unique track record of helping teens change their behavior toward dating, parties, sexual activity, and decision-making), you get a whole new approach for helping your daughter be as prepared as possible for protecting herself. Imagine your daughter in the healthiest relationship possible.  What will it take for that picture to become a reality?  Your teenager seeing YOU as the expert can be a big help!

Here is the good news (and exciting too).  You now have an award-winning DVD and book set available which will help your daughter realize what a great source of knowledge you are while giving YOU the tools needed to be that fantastic resource for her!  Imagine having an in-depth conversation about dating and sex with your teenager and then hearing her say, “Thanks for sharing with me. This was actually fun.” Picture your daughter telling you how she set strong standards with her partner right from the beginning of the date.

If your daughter was sexually assaulted, would she tell you? The painful truth is “probably not” because most parents say the wrong words when talking about dating. Statements such as, “If anyone ever touches you, I’ll kill them” results in most teens never coming forward to their parents. EVERY LOVING PARENT wants their daughter to be able to come to them in her greatest time of need.  Mike shares the right words to help your daughter be able to share with you.

You deserve this unique connection with your teenager. You can make it happen starting today.  HELP! My Teen is Dating. Real Solutions to Tough Conversations is an award-wining DVD & Book Set for both parents and teenagers. By sitting down in the comfort of your home, you’ll watch an entertaining, thought-provoking, and life changing DVD (in less time than you’d watch a movie).  Plus, you get 2 critically-acclaimed books.

Begin to Open the Door for your Teen Daughter. Get the DVD & Book Set Now!

 

Purchase Today for 49.97 = Get the DVD with 2 powerful books!

 

30 DAY GUARANTEE + FREE SHIPPING in United States.  No Risk. Get Today!

 

10 Essential Tools You’ll Gain Inside HELP! My Teen is Dating:

 

1. How to start the talk and get your teen to listen.
This one method will transform how you talk with your teenager from now on (about anything). Have less stress and more fun together discussing sensitive issues.

“I found myself laughing, answering the questions, and nodding my head in agreement with the audience. We’ve all been told to ‘keep the lines of communication open’ with our sons and daughters, but nobody ever tells us how to do that. As a parent and educator, I guarantee that this video will give you the tools to talk to your teen about feelings and issues you thought were impossible to discuss.”
~ Cheryl Einsweiler, Parent and Community Resources/Educator

2. Three questions that define if your teen should be dating. Choosing a dating age is one of the most common mistakes parents make. When you realize this system for deciding when your teenager is ready to date, you will feel much better about your child being out with someone else. Best of all, your teenager will be safer.

3. What to say to your teen’s date. Many parents do not realize the impact this one conversation has with the date and their own teenager. When you discover the right way to address your teen’s dating partner, you and your child will have a tighter bond (including sharing a few laughs). More importantly, your teen will respect you and be more open with you.

4. The exact words for addressing intimacy. Words are powerful. Each word you choose will impact your teenager’s personal views of their body and sexuality. This one aspect will have the biggest influence on your child’s happiness in future relationships, including marriage.

5. How to establish clear & reasonable boundaries. Your beliefs are going to be a little different than your teenager’s views. If you ask your child, they may say they have the same views because they don’t want to disappoint you. When you understand how to bring out the true differences, you then establish the fundamentals for your teenager speaking out for herself (or himself) with their dates.

“HELP! MY Teen Is Dating is both funny, engaging, and educational. It will help you understand why a rock solid youth will give way to peer pressure. As a parent, I highly recommend it!“
~ John Hathaway, Health Educator & Parent (ID)

6. The power in Asking First. This simple concept is the most popular solution to eliminating the dangerous “dating games” teenagers play. As a parent, you will love this section!

7. The best way to discuss the dangers: from Alcohol to Sexual Assault. As you know, alcohol and drugs (including date rape drugs) are commonly used to rape, especially at parties. In fact, some teenagers brag about how drunk they get their partners before engaging in sexual activity. At the same time, most students do not believe it will happen to them. Every parent needs their child to realize this scare is real and then how to safeguard against it!

8. How to truly “Be There” for your child. Dating is dangerous and it involves great risk. As we discussed earlier, you can’t be with your child at all times. The greatest choice you can make is to give your teen every possible tool to protect herself. What if something still went wrong?  There are no guarantees with a teen’s safety.  What if your child was sexually assaulted? How would you handle it? Do you think your teenager would tell you?

The greatest lesson Mike has learned from traveling the country working with survivors of sexual assault is this one message: “Unless you say the right words to your child BEFORE a sexual assault occurs, odds are slim your child will ever tell you she was assaulted.” Too many parents make the crucial mistake of telling their daughter, “I’ll kill anyone who ever hurts you or touches you against your will.” Teen survivors of date rape state over and over how that one sentence is the #1 reason they never told their parents what happened. Find out what your teenager needs to hear you say! The right message is called “Opening the Door” and you will be emotionally moved when you discover the power in saying it.

9. Necessary skills to get your teenager to make good choices. When you discover how to talk with your teen about dating, the lessons crossover to all areas of life. If you can make a good dating choice, you can handle peer pressure better and stand up for yourself on any issue. Now you have a child who is more confident and wants to do the right thing.

“HELP! My Teen Is Dating provides parents and others with the tools necessary to have conversations with their teenagers as they begin to explore deeper relationships.  The DVD encourages parents and others to demonstrate the care and concern that sometimes gets lost in the everyday routine of life, which in turn, nurtures teens’ self-confidence and the ability to make choices they won’t later regret. Listen, learn, be ready…watch HELP! My Teen Is Dating!“
~ Renée and Charlie Barr, Educators and Parents of two young women

10. Essential tips to fun and safer dating for your son or daughter. Do you know the best time for your teenager to go on a date? Do you know the worst place for a teenager to go? The DVD will uncover lots of surprise tips for dating that you and your teenager probably never thought of.

“Mike does an amazing job guiding parents on how to communicate with their teenagers about dating safely. Help! My Teen is Dating provides real solutions for parents and teaches fundamental respect for all people. A definite ’10′!“
~ Rose J. Torgerson, Sexual Assault Services and Education Coordinator for Cedar Valley Friends of the Family (IA)

PLUS:

Real-life scenes. Throughout the DVD, you get to observe parents and teenagers participating in role-playing scenarios. Seeing real-world examples makes using the information much easier for your family.

In Help! My Teen is Dating, you are given the precise ways to challenge and support your teenager in a manner that is both new, effective, and fun! You will find yourself laughing alongside your teenager; having a better connection with each other; comforted knowing you have a detailed plan for how to handle various situations; and looking forward to having more of these conversations.

Timing. Find out how to start the talk at the right time with the correct approach.  Pick the wrong time and all you get is a very annoyed teenager who feels she (or he) is being forced to listen. The DVD will show you how to pick the right time — resulting in your teenager being better prepared to protect herself.

Includes 4 SPECIAL BONUS sections

  • The Internet and Keeping Your Teen Safe. Get some great insight on how to handle your teen’s use of the online world. You get more control!
  • Spirituality, Faith, & Dating. For families who’s religion is important, you will find this feature a great addition to the DVD. You find out how to incorporate religion appropriately into the discussion.
  • Sexual Choices Our Teens Face. Yes, your teens have more opportunities for sexual experiences than most of your generation did. What is common around the country? What is really going on. Find out here.
  • Access to Special Downloads. In addition to receiving the paperback books, you get e-book versions included on the DVD and several articles to download. Share them with family & friends.

Don’t Hesitate. Get the DVD & Book Set. Start the Conversation Now!

Purchase Today for 49.97 = Get the DVD with 2 powerful books!

 

30 DAY GUARANTEE + FREE SHIPPING in United States.  No Risk. Get Today!

After watching the DVD, how do you keep the message going?   Teenagers love reading the interactive and insightful book May I Kiss You?  A Candid Look at Dating, Communication, Respect, & Sexual Assault Awareness which is included as part of the set. How often do you hear of an educational book teenagers will ask their parents to purchase for them?  May I Kiss You? is one of those rare finds.  Inside, you’re teenager will discover:

 

  • 20 Interactive Exercises
  • Dating Fear Factors
  • Asking? Are you crazy?
  • Rejection
  • Body Language Challenge
  • Values
  • Respect
  • Long-term Relationships
  • Dating Gender Gap
  • Help & Where to Find It
  • Privacy
  • Blame & Guilt
  • Family & Friends
  • Responsible Change

 

 

  

  • Self-Defense: Yes or No?
  • Awareness
  • Tips for Healthy & Fun Dating
  • Peer Pressure
  • Alcohol & Date Rape Drugs
  • Parties
  • Sexual Harassment
  • Double Standards
  • Talking Freely
  • Supporting Survivors
  • Opening the Door for Survivors
  • The Pledge for Action
  • Making a Difference
  • …and much more

 

 

A frustration parents often express is when teenagers think they are invincible.  For this reason, Moms and Dads appreciate the inspirational book Voices of Courage being included with the DVD for providing their teens real examples of what can happen when tragedy strikes with sexual assault.  Ten female and twelve male survivors share their personal journeys from being assaulted to becoming strong survivors!  You’ll never view sexual assault the same after reading this one-of-a-kind book.  More important, your teenager will have a realistic viewpoint of the dangers that exist in dating.

By utilizing the DVD with both books, you will have all the tools needed to help you and your teenagers engage in powerful and life-changing talks.

“Parenting is challenging at any age but parenting a teen is hardest of all. Mike Domitrz understands the tension between teens and their parents and even more critically, between teens and their peers.

Whether you have boys or girls, you will discover from Mike how to get your teenagers to have high standards, make good choices, and only date partners who give them total respect. Every parent needs to use Mike’s proven approach to making our teens safer on dates!“
~ Linda Hugle, Principal of North Valley High School in Grants Pass, OR

AWARD WINNING DVD & BOOK SET.
Maybe you’re thinking, “What are the odds this is actually going to help me with my teenager?“ The award the DVD has received which means the most to many parents is the ”Best Parenting Book” award by RadicalParenting.com. Why?  Teenagers chose the best books!!  Yes, the books were considered to be the most realistic and helpful for teenagers!!  How often can you find a resource for your teenagers that other teens recommend? Here is what they said when granting the recognition:

“Parents, teens, and tweens love the realistic and flexible solutions given to them in this interactive, entertaining, and useful resource. Regardless of your child’s personality, you will find various options for ways to connect with your son or daughter while helping him/her make better choices.“

Watch an 8 minute preview from the award-winning DVD by clicking here.

PLUS, YOU GET A GREAT DEAL!

Finding a nationally renown expert to help you and your family is difficult and can be extremely expensive (hundreds to thousands of dollars).  With the DVD, you get to bring Mike right into your own home for less than a night out at the movies and dinner for two.  You don’t have to even drive out to your school and drag your teen with you (you know how much she dreads going to Parent-Child educational sessions).  Best of all, you can watch the DVD on any given day in the future to review an idea or concept.  Same with the books. Once you have them, they are yours.  You are getting 2 critically-acclaimed books and an award-winning DVD for only $49.97.  The books normally cost $36.94 by themselves.  Specialized “How To” DVDs typically sell for for $99 to $125 each and you are getting everything for just $49.97.  Plus, shipping is included for FREE.

Order Your Set Now for Only $49.97.
Get award-winning DVD and 2 critically acclaimed books!
30 DAY GUARANTEE + FREE SHIPPING.  No Risk.  Get Today!

EDUCATORS KEEP TALKING . . .

When I received the DVD in the mail, I could not wait to watch it. I had read so many good reviews about the program. I watched the program with my mom and we both enjoyed it. The author and presenter of the program was so intuned with the teen population and what is happening in society now.  My mom was so impressed with the DVD, she is going to recommend it to the PTA at my school.
~Melissa Burmester, bookrusonline.com

Watch an 8 minute preview from the award-winning DVD by clicking here.

As a mother of teens, HELP! My Teen Is Dating has proven to be a powerful tool which allowed me to begin a conversation on a sensitive topic without feeling awkward. After viewing the video with my daughter, I feel she now has the tools and insights to make healthier and safer choices. Plus, Mike Domitrz’s approach has helped remove many of my own fears.

~Laura Stockdale, Community Speakers Forum Coordinator and Parish Episcopal School Board of Trustees (Dallas, TX)

At last, a how-to kit for parents navigating the treacherous territory of teen dating. This DVD will give you the confidence, skills, and information to truly engage your child in a dialogue about the important issues teens face in these relationships.

~ Carolyn Pukl, Health Educator at Lakeland Regional High School (NJ)

Mike Domitrz offers more than practical advice for parents. Throughout, Mike actually demonstrates the tools for talking with your teen about these issues.

~Rob Rephan, Rape Prevention Education Coordinator (CA)

The DVD answers a lot of questions parents have about how far to “get involved,” how to get teenagers to trust parents, and knowing when to trust your child.

~ Nicole Saavedra, Youth Services Coordinator for East Granby (CT)

BUY for only $49.97 TODAY. Receive the award-winning DVD and 2 powerful books!

30 DAY GUARANTEE + FREE SHIPPING in United States.  No Risk. Get Today!

Note from Mike Domitrz

Thanks for visiting us here at The Date Safe Project. Helping teenagers make the safest and smartest choices regarding dating, respect, relationships, boundaries, intimacy, sexual activity, and intervening with friends in dangerous situations is a mission we take seriously each and every day.  As the brother of a sexual assault survivor, I’ve seen first hand the trauma sexual violence can cause a family.  No one should have to experience such pain.

We make it our task to help individuals and families lower the incidents of sexual assault while teaching how to build the healthiest relationships through strong dating skills and tools.  For this reason, we worked relentlessly on creating the DVD and book set that would provide you with the most complete and risk-free resource available for parents of teenagers. Thus, you get our 30 day money-back guarantee and free shipping included with your purchase today!

Click Here to Purchase Online or Call Us Toll-Free: 800-329-9390.

 

Written by The Date Safe Project Inc on August 19, 2009

Teach consent to family, friends, and colleagues

Learn how to teach everyone around you about consent through casual conversation at work, at home with your family, at sporting events, and hanging out with friends.  The Date Safe Project and Mike Domitrz reveal this simple tip for engaging people in a fun learning moment.  Find out how your colleagues, employers, friends, sons, daughters, partners, boyfriend, girlfriends, teenagers, and others react and then SHARE their reaction with us in the “Leave a reply” box below.

Talking about and practicing today’s challenge will help people realize how important and VALUED consent is in all aspects of life.  As we make consent the standard for treating people with respect, males and females are more likely to be comfortable discussing sexual consent with each other before engaging in sexual activity – thus creating much safer intimacy and helping reduce sexual assault.

To receive the “Challenge of the Day” every Monday – Friday, subscribe to our blog in the upper right-hand column of The Date Safe Project blog.

REMEMBER to share what you experience in the “Leave a Reply” box below!!

Written by Mike Domitrz on June 16, 2009

Summer Dating & Your Teens

Parents, are you ready for the Summer Days of Dating when your teenager has soo much free time?  Here are 4 quick tips:

1) While you may have a great trusting relationship with your teens, still create safety measures for your house (parental settings on cable boxes; have a lock on liquor cabinets; etc…).  While your teen may be responsible, their friends may take some risks in your home.

2) When can friends be over and where in the house are they allowed?  Decide and talk openly about these rules.  Some parents do not allow sons and daughter’s friends in their kids bedrooms to avoid a “private” setting where kissing, touching, or sexual practices could occur.  Other parents say, “Basement door is always left open.”  Clarify.

3) With everyone home from school, how much is texting, IMing, and other technology forms of communicating allowed.  Some students become addicted to “staying in touch with everyone elses life” – so much that they are not LIVING their own life.

4) TALK.  With everyone home more often in the summer and/or spending some vacation time together, TALK unobtrusively about intimacy, equality, and respect.  If a news story breaks about dating, hooking-up, teen pregnancy, or sexual assault, ask your teenager their thoughts and do so in a non-judgmental manner.

What tips do you want to add and share with others?  Use the “Leave a Reply” section below to do so . . .

Written by The Date Safe Project Inc on May 18, 2009

Kids online activities and Parent Monitoring

How many hours a month do you think pre-teens and teenagers are online? On average, most kids are spending 20 hours online. Most kids between the ages of 13 – 17 believe their parents have no clue as to what their activities are online.  imagine the freedom college brings 1st year students and their online explorations.  Here’s what they do, where they go, who they meet:

Friendships.
35% of our children ages 8-17 have made friends online 50 % of U.S. of our teens ages 13-17 claim to have made friends online 33% of children prefer spending time with their online friends rather than their offline friends

Social networking.
76% of our teens. teens ages 13-17 "constantly," "frequently" or "sometimes" visit social networking sites.

Shopping online.
35% of kids report being "very confident" or "confident" in shopping online.  Do you know where your credit card is?

Getting requests for personal information.
42% of kids ages 13-17 have received an online request for personal information.

Being approached by strangers.
16 percent of them have been approached online by a stranger; however, U.S. adults believe that just 6 percent of children have been approached online by a stranger.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?  Learn about online monitoring programs and software packages.  They can track EVERY little detail for you (from Instant Messaging to every visit online).  At the same time, you need to continually TALK with pre-teens and teenagers about the internet.  When they are at a friend’s house, your monitoring software is not going to do any good.  Educate them and empower them.

What program do you use for monitoring?  What do you like about it?  Help other parents by sharing with us here on the blog.

Written by Mike Domitrz on February 15, 2008

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