Film, TV, & Music Reviews with a Twist

Every week, new films and songs are released around the globe.  Throughout the year, TV shows are launched.  24 hours, 7 days a week, you can turn to “Breaking News” on one of the many “news dedicated” cable channels.  With all of these mediums constantly changing, how can you stay up-to-date or know how to hold appropriate conversations with students and/or people in your community about the shows everyone is talking about?  Good news!  Now, you have a source to turn to for fun, thought-provoking, and helpful reviews.

Here, you will find reviews from parents, educators, experts, and teenagers (giving their perspective).  Each review will provide you with an unique perspective relating to how the media and/or entertainment outlet’s production effects society’s views of dating, sex, intimacy, relationships, violence, consent, and sexual assault.  Having these analytic reviews will provide you with great tools to engage the younger and older generations around you with a different outlook the next time they watch and/or listen to the medium you are reading about.

You know how often people of all ages “roll their eyes” when you try to challenge everyday views on a subject.  The reviews provided by DSP Critics (Date Safe Project Critics) will give you more useful and progmatic material to share with others.

Be a Reviewer.  You can be given full credit for your reviews here at The Date Safe Project, Inc. or your reviews can be kept anonymous.  You choose.  Either way, you can create your own following as a DSP Critic.  To send us a review of ANY medium, click on “Leave a Comment” on this page OR send an e-mail to Review@DateSafeProject.org.

Tweens are dating while some parents and educators are often sleeping.

Many parents and educators make the mistake of thinking education on dating starts when a child turns 13 years of age.  The reality is many males and females are engaging in sexual conversations and acts during their tween years (some even younger).  What’s a tween?  Typically people consider children 11 and 12 years old to be tweens.  They are in middle school, but not teenagers yet.   

The tweens say they are dating.  When I am speaking in middle schools, students constantly share with me how they are dating and what "dating" means to them.  What they call "dating" is what most parents refer to as "hooking up" — getting together to hang out and be intimate in some form (from kissing to more advanced sexual activity).  Even going to the movies is frequently motivated by going "in the dark to make out."  Students are not shy about discussing this viewpoint.

What is the problem?  The tweens view dating as "hook-ups"; intimate moments; and/or sexual conquests.  They consider sexual activity and dating to be the same thing.  Some tweens believe oral sex and sexual intercourse are a must have for a relationship.  Who can blame them?  They have been exposed to such images over and over again through media, entertainment, and advertising. 

Worst of all, many parents and educators do nothing to reverse that belief process.  The good news is I know our readers do care.  You are working hard to make a positive impact.  Here my challenge for you this week:

Teach at least 3 tweens what dating really is. It’s not a license for sex.  The definition of dating is:- an appointment to meet at a specified time; especially: a social engagement between two persons. The purpose of a date is to get to know someone better, what their interests are, and what you have in common. Ask tweens if they know what dating really means.

Be open minded and sincere in your question.  If the tween sees you "trying to make point," they are likely to shut down or tell you what you want to hear.  Instead, open the conversation with, "Can you help me out, please?  It has been so long since I dated, what does that mean nowadays?  What does it mean when your friends say they are dating or what does dating mean to you?"  You may be surprised by the answer.  If you are, make a "date" with your child, get to know them a little better and help them understand the purpose of a date.

Students, Teachers, Parents, and Administrators Tackle Sexual Harrassment

Monday, February 4, 2008 marks the third annual “National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week’.  Beginning Monday, students across the country will begin campaigns bringing to light this reality among our children.  Sadly, this reality has been an unnoticed problem for a long time.

According to the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) a reported 9% of American teens reported they have been physically hurt by their boyfriend or girlfriend.  Even more frightening is the way technology is being used to stalk, intimidate and abuse our children.  Many teens are embarrassed to admit this is going on and it goes unreported. 

As parents, educators, and law enforcement, it is our responsibility to teach our children that violence and dating is not ok, to identify what is acceptable behavior, and what to do if they do not like how they are being treated.  We need to give them the tools to stay safe and date safe! 

Here are some great links for more information: www.TheSafeSpace.org and www.BreakTheCycle.org

SHARE In the "Comments" section what students are doing in your area.  If you have ideas for schools, parents, or law enforcement, share with us.

A new semester of school brings fresh challenges for educators (mentally, emotionally, and physically).

Teachers, professors, educators, advisors, student leaders, and activists have shared throughout the years how busy this time of the year is for everyone.  For middle schools and high schools, the first semester is wrapping up.  For colleges and universities, a new semester is about to begin.  Not surprisingly, do you notice how many people get sick during this 3 or 4 weeks?  Stress.

Those of you who devote your lifes to helping others often forget to take care of yourselves.  A common mistake for many of us.  What do you do to relax and take care of yourself?  Quickly grab a piece of paper.  Draw a line down the middle so that you have 2 columns.  Above one column write, "Relax" and at the top of the other column, write "Taking Care of Me."  Now, write down everything you ENJOY doing to relax and to take care of yourself.  If you have too short of a list, ask people what they like.  Suddenly, you should have a nice list for yourself.  Look at your daily schedule and take 30 minutes twice a day to do one of the "Relax" items and 30 minutes for one of the "Taking Care of Me" choices.  The bigger the list, the better.  Variety and options are key to most people sticking with a plan.  Best of all, this approach makes taking care of you FUN!!

Start right here on this blog.  Leave a COMMENT listing as many items as you can think of for "Relax" and "Taking Care of ME."  The more we share, the more we tend to receive!

New Book with Mike Domitrz is NOW AVAILABLE. “Lessons from the Road” with the Forward by Olympic Skating Champion Scott Hamilton and 2 chapters written by Mike Domitrz.

Lessons from the Road: Inspirational Insights by Leading Speakers in Education is 280 pages of inspiration written by the country’s top speakers and authors dedicated to youth, higher education, and service to humanity.  The “Chicken for the Soup” format has the the book divided up into a diversity of insights covering the following landscape of topics: compassion, difference makers, determination, effective communication, family, life, love, reflection, relationships, success, thinking differently and wisdom.

The Foreword is written by Olympic Skating Champion Scott Hamilton and so I was honored to have them ask me to write two chapters.  Just having received the book, we were thrilled with its unique content and the power of the chapters.  The various authors make for a great read.  To get this book for only $15, click here.  This book is ideal for students, parents and educators!!

**Partial proceeds from every sale through Mike Domitrz are donated to R.A.I.N.N. (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) at www.rainn.org.

Do you really want my opinion? Do you take it in or simply let it be said?

When someone provides you feedback, how do you absorb their words?  Do you open your mind with a positive energy of "How can I make that work?" or do you respond with "I like your ideas, BUT . . ." and immediately share why you cannot or will not utilize their idea(s)?

Recently, I was sharing on a college e-mail listserve how schools can utilize our "Pledge for Action" during Sexual Assault Awareness Month in April.  At the time, the pledge was called the "Pledge to Protect."  We have been utilizing this pledge for over a 1.5 years.  Through this e-mail exchange on the listserve, one of the members shared how she did not like the word "Protect" in the pledge’s title because of the Patriarchal meanings and connotations of that specific word.  No one was questioning the content of the pledge — just the name.

We had a choice.  We could say to ourselves, "It is one person and this pledge has been extremely effective.  If we make this change, we would have to get new websites, change all the current information we send out, and make lots of other updates."  The other option we had was to ask the entire listserve, "What if we change the name to ‘Pledge for Action’ which requires signers to commit to taking real action?  What do you all think of this idea?"

We chose to open this question to the entire listserve and the feedback was OVERWHELMING — we kept hearing "WE LOVE THE CHANGE to Pledge for Action!!" (www.pledge4action.org).

From that change, another colleague of mine suggested, "Mike, with this new name, I can envision a pin people can wear year-round that says, ‘Pledge for Action’ and it would be a die-cast pin (like a National Honor Society pin in high school) so it would be sharp looking."  The "Pledge for Action" pins have now been ordered.  We have a pin designed in the shape of the logo used on the pledge with the wording "Pledge for Action" across the front.  Plus, we have a new t-shirt coming out which is designed specifically for the pledge!

All of this change happened because one person shared their opinion with us.  If we had discarded their e-mail, we would have lost out on improving an already successful educational campaign.  The new changes are going to help us get this campaign out to many more populations, especially with schools, communities, and organizations being able to use the pins and the shirts in conjunction with the signing of the pledge.

The surprising part of this experience were the amount of e-mails saying, "Thanks, Mike, for being willing to listen to change.  Most people would not have opened up this conversation about their own work."  To me, it seems like the only choice.  How can you ask students and communities to open their minds — while you keep yours closed to helpful feedback?

Who will you ask for their ideas today?  What positive changes will you make?  Join us in our newest change and sign the pledge at www.pledge4action.org.

Hood College Draws in Local Flavor

This past Tuesday night at Hood College in Frederick, Maryland, the campus did a fantastic job of getting local educators and professionals to come out for the "Can I Kiss You?" presentation.  After the program, a person from the Baltimore County Schools (1 hour away) introduced herself and then an educator from the local school sytem (in Frederick) talked with me for quite some time.

In our materials, we always encourage campuses to work with their nearby middle schools and high schools to help make a difference throughout the local area (if the facility has enough room to fit their college students and people from the area).  A "Great Job" goes out to everyone at Hood College for caring about their extended community! 

Sometimes when groups are involved in sponsoring, they only want to give financial assistance.  Not at Hood!  Several athletes came up to me throughout the night to tell me how hard everyone had been working at "getting the word out."  When you get peers promoting, you get ENERGY!!