Educators | Teen, college, and military sexual assault, school healthy dating, intimacy, and bystander intervention resources brought to you by The Date Safe Project, Inc.

Articles and Resources

Articles Written by Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Articles Quoting Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Resources

National Organizations

State Coalitions Against Sexual Assault

Sites Run by Survivors of Sexual Assault

Additional Articles for Survivors.

Articles Written by Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Below, you will find articles and press releases addressing various issues regarding healthy dating and sexual assault awareness. To obtain permission to reprint any or all portions of the below articles written by Mike Domitrz, e-mail by clicking here.

The “Slut Reputation” Discussion ~Mike Domitrz
Abstinence & Consent — Do They Belong Together? ~Mike Domitrz
Tough Audiences Need You! ~Mike Domitrz
Working with Students – Are They Difficult? ~Mike Domitrz
Do Your Kids Ask? Parents Teaching Respect & Healthy Dating ~Mike Domitrz
Date Rape, Rape, Sexual Assault, Prevention, Awareness – the words we use ~Mike Domitrz
Going Beyond What Is Expected ~Mike Domitrz

Articles Quoting Mike Domitrz

First-Date Body Language — Decoded ~MSN Dating & Personals, Spring ’05
May I Kiss You? Talk To Your Teen About Date Rape ~teenagerstoday.com, April ’04
The Girly Guide ~preteenagerstoday.com, Nov ’04
Boy Basics 101 ~preteenagerstoday.com, Dec ’03
Kobe Case Serves as Lesson for Pro Athletes ~Houston Chronicle, Oct ’03
How Parents Can Help Their Teens Through the Dating Years ~Style Weekly, Sep ’03
Kobe Case Disturbs Survivors of Rape ~Grand Junction Sentinel, Aug ’03

*To obtain permission to reprint any or all portions of these articles, E-mail Mike here

NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE. RAINN carries out programs to prevent sexual assault, help victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN uses its extensive entertainment industry and community-based connections to educate more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault.
Toll-Free: (800) 656-HOPE
Website: www.rainn.org

Help My Teen is an organization with over 20 years experience in counseling and connecting families with appropriate situations for their troubled teen. Through a network of associates and programs available we have been able to direct many besieged and divided families towards healing and unification to a common goal – that of appropriate and positive relationships with self and within the family and structure of society.
Toll-Free: (800) 247-1696
Website: http://helpmyteen.com

MaleSurvivor, the National Organization against Male Sexual Victimization, is committed to preventing, healing, and eliminating all forms of sexual victimization of boys and men through treatment, research, education, advocacy, and activism. The organization maintains a web site (www.malesurvivor.org) that includes a wealth of information for survivors and professionals about male sexual victimization as well as a Discussion Board and live Chat Room where survivors can network and support one another, anonymously if they wish. MaleSurvivor also publishes a newsletter and sponsors periodic conferences and healing retreats.
Website: www.malesurvivor.org

AdvocateWeb is the largest internet resource dealing with sexual misconduct, exploitation, and abuse of clients by mental health professionals, medical professionals, clergy, lawyers, educators, and law enforcement officials. AdvocateWeb offers extensvie free resources for victims, survivors, their families, friends, victim advocates, and professionals seeking to address this problem.
Website: www.advocateweb.org

The Awareness Center is the Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault (JCASA). JCASA is dedicated to addressing sexual violence in the Jewish communities around the world.
Toll-Free: (443) 857-5560
Website: www.theawarenesscenter.org

The Arizona Department of Health Services: Sexual Violence Prevention & Education provides rape prevention education to students, professionals, and community members. These interventions have covered all racial and ethnic groups throughout Arizona – including Native American and Hispanic groups.
Toll-Free: (602) 542-7343
Website: www.azrapeprevention.org

The Date Safe Project is committed to being a national leader in the mission to teach youth and adults that “asking first” makes all the difference in creating safer intimacy and decreasing occurrences of sexual assault. By producing interactive presentations, educational resources, and other national initiatives, we teach how a better understanding of consent leads to healthier dating and to a greater awareness of the many issues surrounding human sexuality and sexual assault.
Toll-Free: (800) 329-9650
Website: www.datesafeproject.org

National Domestic Violence Registry is the first national database model for domestic violence convictions available to the public. We have the opportunity to provide a major program that will vastly help in the prevention of domestic violence, guide citizens to making more informed decisions about those they date, exponentially raise awareness nationally for domestic violence incidences, and provide the opportunity to influence the history of crime prevention throughout the United States. Visit http://www.domesticviolencedatabase.org.

FaithTrust Institute is a national multifaith organization is working to end sexual and domestic violence. WE provide communities and advocates with the tools and knowledge they need to address religious and cultural issues related to abuse. Through training, consultation, and educational materials, we equip religious leaders sexual and domestic violence in their communities.
Website: www.faithtrustinstitute.org

National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) is a comprehensive collection and distribution center for information, statistics, and resources related to sexual violence. It serves as a resource for coalitions, rape crisis centers, allied organizations, and others working to eliminate sexual assault. The NSVRC does not provide direct services to sexual assault victims but rather supports those who do.
Toll-Free: (877) 739-3895
Website: http://www.nsvrc.org

SAKHI provides services for South Asian Women dealing with Domestic Violence.

Stop It Now! is a national non-profit working to prevent child sexual abuse using the tools of public health. Since 1992, our public policy, public education, and research programs have protected children by emphasizing adult and community responsibility.
Toll-Free: (888) PREVENT
Website: www.stopitnow.org

Security On Campus, Inc. is the only national non-profit organization devoted exclusively to providing services to the victims of violence on college campuses and to educate students. When SOC works with victims, university policies are changed for the better.
Toll-Free: (888) 251-7959
Website: www.securityoncampus.org

Men Can Stop Rape mobilizes male youth to prevent men’s violence against women. The organization builds young men’s capacity to challenge harmful aspects of traditional masculinity, to value alternative visions of male strength, and to embrace their vital role as allies with women and girls in fostering healthy relationships and gender equity.
Offices: (202) 265-6530
Website: www.mencanstoprape.org

Gift From Within A non-profit organization with educational materials for survivors of trauma, advocates and counselors.
Website: http://giftfromwithin.org/

SelfGrowth.com A complete guide to information about Self -Improvement, Personal Growth and Self Help on the Internet. It is designed to be an organized directory, with articles and references to thousands of other Web Sites on the World Wide Web.

Voices of Strength a new series of survivors sharing their words.

EbooksAndMoreForYou Offering ebooks on “Child Abuse Recovery.” Providing valuable information to people who were abused at any age and lists access to 1000s of recovery organizations in over 100 languages.

A Men’s Project (AMP) has links related to Men and Boys in North America.

STATE COALITIONS AGAINST SEXUAL ASSAULT

To find local rape crisis centers, click on the name of your state coalition against sexual assault and you will be forwarded to their website. If they do not have a working website, then call the number provided. They will be happy to help you the closest rape crisis center.

Alabama Coalition Against Rape
(334) 264-0123
acar.org

Alaska Network on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(907) 586-3650
andvsa.org

Arizona Sexual Assault Network (AzSAN)
(480) 831-1986
azsan.org

Arkansas Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(866) 63-ACASA
acasa.ws

California Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(916) 446-2520
calcasa.org

Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CCASA)
(303) 861-7033
ccasa.org

Connecticut Sexual Assault Crisis Services, Inc. (CONNSACS)
(888) 999-5545
connsacs.org

Sexual Assault Network of Delaware (SAND) c/o CONTACT Delaware
Crisis Line in Delaware: (800) 262-9800
contactlifeline.org

District of Columbia Rape Crisis Center
202-232-0789
dcrcc.org

Florida Council Against Sexual Violence
(850) 297-2000
fcasv.org

Georgia Network to End Sexual Assault
(866) 354-3672
gnesa.org

Dekalb (Georgia) Rape Crisis Program
(404) 377-1429
dekalbrapecrisiscenter.org

Hawaii Coalition for the Prevention of Sexual Assault
(808) 733-9038

Idaho Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence
(800) 669-3176
idvsa.org

Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault (ICASA)
(217) 753-4117
icasa.org

Indiana Coalition Against Sexual Assault, Inc. (INCASA)
(317) 423-0233
incasa.org

Iowa Coalition Against Sexual Assault (Iowa CASA)
(515) 244-7424
iowacasa.org

Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence
(785) 266-1874
kcsdv.org

Kentucky Association of Sexual Assault Programs, Inc.
(502) 226-2704
kyasap.net

Louisiana Foundation Against Sexual Assault (LaFASA)
(985) 345-5995
(888) 995-7273 (Toll-free number from Louisiana)
lafasa.org

Maine Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(800) 871-7741
mecasa.org

Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(410) 974-4507
mcasa.org

Jane Doe Inc., The Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence
(877) 785-2020
janedoe.org

Michigan Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence
(517) 381-4663
mcadsv.org

Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(800) 964-8847
mncasa.org

Mississippi Coalition Against Sexual Assault
Department of Health – Mississippi State
(888) 987-9011
mscasa.org

Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
(573) 634-4161
mocadsv.org

Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault
(816) 931-4527
mocsa.org

Montana Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence
(406) 443-7794
mcadsv.com

Nebraska Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Coalition (NDVSAC)
(402) 476-6256
ndvsac.org

Nevada Coalition Against Sexual Violence
(702) 914-6878 not a hotline number
Crisis Hotline: (800) 656-HOPE
ncasv.org

New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
Hotline: (800) 277-5570
nhcadsv.org

New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault -NJCASA
(609) 631-4450
Hotline: (800) 601-7200
njcasa.org

New Mexico Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs, Inc.
(505) 883-8020
nmcsap.com

New York State Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NYSCASA, Inc.)
(518) 482-4222
nyscasa.org

North Carolina Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NCCASA)
(919) 871-1015
nccasa.org

North Dakota Council on Abused Women’s Services – Coalition Against Sexual Assault in ND
(888) 255-6240
(701) 255-6240
ndcaws.org

Ohio Coalition on Sexual Assault (OCOSA)
(888) 336-2672
goldbamboo.com

Oklahoma Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(405) 524-0700
ocadvsa.org

Oregon Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence (OCADSV)
(503) 230-1951
ocadsv.com

Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape (PCAR)
(888) 772-PCAR
(717) 728-9740
pcar.org

Rhode Island Sexual Assault Coalition
(800) 494-8100
dayoneri.org

South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault
(803) 256-2900
(800) 260-9293
sccadvasa.org

South Dakota Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse
(605) 945-0869
southdakotacoalition.org

Tennessee Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
(615) 386-9406
(800) 356-6767 (Tennessee)
(800) 7997233 (National Domestic Violence Hotline)
tcadsv.org

Texas Association Against Sexual Assault (TAASA)
(512) 474-7190
taasa.org

Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(801) 746-0404
(888) 421-1100
ucasa.org

Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(802) 223-1302
(800) 489-7273
vtnetwork.org

Virginia Sexaul and Domestic Violence Action Alliance
(434) 979-9002
vadv.org

Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs
(800) 775-8013
wcsap.org

West Virginia Foundation for Rape Information & Services
(304) 366-9500
fris.org

Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault (WCASA)
Phone/TTY: (608) 257-1516
wcasa.org

Wyoming Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault
(800) 799-7233
wyomingdvsa.org

**If you are a survivor of sexual assault who has an internet site or blog, please e-mail us at info@DateSafeProject.org with the link you want us to add to this section of our website. All we request is for you to first have a link to http://www.DateSafeProject.org.

Additional Articles for Survivors of Sexual Assault

Legal Tools for Survivors of Sexual Assault

Schools, Campuses, and Communities addressing healthy dating, consent, bystander intervention, and supporting survivors

Want a Program donated?

Would you love to have the “Can I Kiss You?” program and/or “HELP! My Teen Is Dating” seminar for parents presented at your service group (guest speaker) or for a local non-profit organization, faith institution, community group, or a regional/national conference?

Every year, we at The Date Safe Project Inc donate a number of presentations to non-profits and organizations requesting our help. Giving back to the community and society is an important part of our mission. Thus in 2011, we are greatly increasing the number of programs we will be donating!

To be considered for a donated presentation, go to our “Contact Us” page and answer the following questions (be sure to give us all your answers in detail):

The Details of the Event: time, date, and place (facility, city, state).
Hosting organization.
Goal of the event.
Who and how many individuals will be in attendance. Be SPECIFIC. How many of each of the following groups will be attending: parents, educators, crisis centers, and students? For students, tell us how many of each age group (middle school, high school, college/university).
Do you have Sponsors for the event (local, regional, or national corporations)?
Is the event a Fund-Raiser for a non-profit?
WHY you believe your event should receive a donated presentation.
If your event is not within 120 miles of Milwaukee (WI), would you be willing to pay for travel expenses: transportation, flights (if needed), lodging, and food?

URGENCY:
The sooner you apply, the BETTER! The Fall is almost already full and so your best option for available dates is the next few months (January – March). You could ask for a date one week from now and potentially be granted your request! Why? Campuses are just getting back and K12 school systems are in the middle of finals. Consequently, availability does exist. This is the BEST time to make a request.

IMPORTANT: Please understand that while we are greatly increasing the number of donated shows for 2011, not everyone will be able to receive a donated program. If we are not able to fill your request for a donated presentation, we WILL be happy to work with you to provide funding options for still bringing the requested program to your community.

REMEMBER to go to our “Contact Us” page and answer all the previous questions listed above (be sure to give us all your answers in detail). Help make a HUGE IMPACT in your community today!!

All Guys are Jerks and Women are Trouble

How often have you heard a teenager, student, and/or parents make statements such as, “All guys are jerks” and/or “All girls are trouble“? Often people use derogatory generalizations to scare younger individuals from dating and/or to help a friend “feel better” after being unhappy in a relationship. Watch this episode of DSP TV to see if such statements are helpful.

Discussion on alcohol and sexual assault

Was informed today my response to the question, “How can the link between alcohol and sexual violence be best taught to students?” has been posted on Outside The Classroom’s website: http://www.outsidetheclassroom.com!

Join the conversation and share your thoughts!

Students and Customer Service

Do you work with students? When they first approach, do you think, “How can I help this student today? How can I make his or her day AWESOME?” Imagine if every student felt educators and professionals had that goal in mind for them.

In the past 24 hours, I was doused with great customer service. Last night driving to speak at Vassar College, my back tire blew in a remote, restricted road. I was only 15 miles from the campus, yet tow trucks weren’t allowed in that area without the State Police coming by first. I was being told it could take over an hour. Uh oh. Thank goodness, I left early for “just in case” moments like this. Suddenly, a state highway truck pulled up. He said when the call went to the state police, he noticed. In 10 minutes, he had me on my way with a fantastic attitude!!

Today on my flight from DC to Kansas City (yes first I flew from NY to DC), our flight attendant was one of the best I’ve ever experienced. His name was Joe, a retired police officer who took JOY in having fun with everyone (co-workers, customers, etc…). He told us all how much people take their jobs too seriously. He wanted everyone on the flight to have fun. I almost didn’t want to sleep just to see what more he would do.

Then arriving at my hotel in Kansas City, Sarah lit up the room as she welcomed you to the property. She wanted you to know to help yourself to anything you needed and you could have unlimited numbers of water bottles.

Now imagine we treated those we care about with the AMAZING attitude and approach I was blessed to experience today. How more open would everyone be to learning from us?

“In a perfect world, what would you need and want?”

When working on a project for the National Speakers Association earlier today, Randy Gage (Prosperity Expert), asked me this question:

“In a perfect world, what would you need and want?”

Then he was able to provide us what we needed and wanted. Thanks, Randy.

Now what about you? For working to help students, young adults, educators, and/or parents to address dating, sexual decision-making, consent, and/or supporting survivors, what would your answers be to, “In a perfect world, what would you need and want?”

I look forward to personally responding to everyone’s comments.

Technology verses Words

When teaching verbal skills, many Moms, Dads, and educators continually share how teens would rather text than talk. To their credit, many teens are fantastic at multi-tasking and quickly absorbing technology uses to fit their lifestyle. The unfortunate consequence is these skills are happening at the cost of losing one-on-one verbal tools. What do you do?

Use technology to show the need for verbal communication! Send texts to your teenager which could be interpreted various ways (commonly happens when texting is done frequently). This way, you are utilizing a medium they love (texting) to bring them to verbally discuss the confusion with you. I know! I know! Stop before you say, “The teen may just attempt to text back and say, ‘Explain’(or a slang text phrase in place of the word).” Then, walk up to your teen and ask them what was confusing.

You OWN the confusion so the conversation is not about them misusing technology. As you clear up the confusion, subtly ask, “How do you handle it when this happens with friends? Misunderstanding each other’s texts? Do you ever just call to clear it up quicker than texting?“

If they say, “No,” follow through with, “Why not? Isn’t talking to your friends a lot of fun?” Be GENUINE in your approach. No one likes to be lectured to. Ask because you WANT to know (not just to make YOUR POINT). The more you understand your teen, the more likely you will be able to connect with him/her verbally!! Thus being a positive role model for verbal communication.

YOUR TURN: Share how you use TECHNOLOGY to HELP enhance the verbal skills of teens. Ask us questions based on your own experiences. I will answer each COMMENT personally!

Boy Scouts Share Important Message

Are you ever asked, “How do you know you are making a difference? How do you know your audience (or students) actually remembers your message?” Speakers in the education world and teachers particularly get this question a lot because so many people wonder if teens retain the messages being shared with them. Yesterday, audience members surprised me.

For the past week, my son was in the Northern Woods camping with his Boy Scout Troop (6 hours from our home). When he arrived home with his Troop, he began sharing all his great stories from the week (catching a 25″ Northern and getting the “Lumberjack” Award). In mid-sentence, he suddenly said, “Dad, try to guess what happened?“

“What?” I asked.

Son: “I got some free food and extra stuff from the store for free because they knew you.“

Me: ”WHO knew me?“

Son: ”The boys working in the store.“

Me: ”Who were they?“

Son: ”I don’t know. They saw my name ‘Domitrz’ and asked if I was related to you. When I said, ‘Yes,’ they talked about your program and how awesome it was. Then they gave me some stuff and EXTRA FOOD!!“

Me: ”Were the boys from around here and working all the way up there for the summer?“

Son: “No, but they knew you.“

Me: ”How old were they?“

Son: ”High school age guys.“

While I’ve been blessed to hear stories of people seeing students wearing my “Can I Kiss You?” and “Want Some Action?” shirts in fun locations (Disney World, etc…), this quick conversation was soo much cooler. To know high school students in the middle of the Northern woods at a Boy Scout camp (6 hours away) KNEW MY NAME was the surprise. Had my son been wearing one of my shirts and these boys thought of the connection to me, I would have still have been pleasantly honored to know my audience had such a positive memory. To know they knew my LAST NAME was the shocker. They simply saw “Domitrz” and started talking to my son.

Neither I nor my son are the focus of this story. This small group of audience members get and deserve all the credit. Each of these young men made a CHOICE to open their minds and commit to change (not letting an important message be forgotten – even months after originally hear the concept). Regardless of what friends said, the entertainment world displayed before them, and their peers who tried to influence them otherwise, these students stuck to message they believed in! Kudos to each of them.

I only wish I had way to say, “Thanks” to each of them personally. Thanks for sharing with my son. Thanks for believing in a positive message.

Why do I share this quick story? With the amazing talent you possess, I know you have peers and/or audience members you never knew you impacted – those same individuals who are excited to tell others they heard you and want to spread the message. Here is to the blessings of being a speaker, educator, activist, and/or caring individual making an impact. Thank you for all you do to make this world a better place.

Tell us what YOU WANT on this site!

“The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.” ~Ben Stein

With a new semester getting started or about to start in schools and universities, what have you DECIDED you really want for this year? What are you going to do to make that happen?

I will start off by sharing what we WANT to start providing you as a visitor to this site in 2010 and then ASK you what more YOU want from our site in 2010. Let’s make it happen! Here is our list of what we are beginning to create for you:

1. Each week, find inspiration and ideas from others around the world pertaining to real solutions to difficult conversations which often occur with teenagers, college students, and members of the military. Soon, you will find our “Question of the Week” answered by multiple people each week (could be YOU quoted in one or many of the Questions).

2. To be able to join our special Team Members section of this website where “How To” videos, articles, podcasts, and monthly tele-seminars with interviews of top experts, educators, activists, and positive role models will be available to you. You’ll be able actively participate in the tele-seminars (free for our Members and a reasonable fee for others). Starting in FEBRUARY!

3. To discover fantastic examples of role models featured here on the site (survivors, parents, activists, educators, professionals, celebrities making an impact, etc…).

4. To GIVEAWAY more helpful resources and materials through our website!

What do YOU WANT from this site? WHAT would you like to learn more about? WHO would you like to learn from? Any technology you would like to see used more often? Do you want to help on our mission? Let us know. Answer all these questions by “Leaving a Comment” now.

Articles Written by Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Articles Quoting Mike Domitrz

NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS

STATE COALITIONS AGAINST SEXUAL ASSAULT

Sites run by Survivors of Sexual Assault

Additional Articles for Survivors of Sexual Assault

Discover Captivating Posters