High Schools | Teen, college, and military sexual assault, school healthy dating, intimacy, and bystander intervention resources brought to you by The Date Safe Project, Inc.

Articles and Resources

Articles Written by Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Articles Quoting Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Resources

National Organizations

State Coalitions Against Sexual Assault

Sites Run by Survivors of Sexual Assault

Additional Articles for Survivors.

Articles Written by Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Below, you will find articles and press releases addressing various issues regarding healthy dating and sexual assault awareness. To obtain permission to reprint any or all portions of the below articles written by Mike Domitrz, e-mail by clicking here.

The “Slut Reputation” Discussion ~Mike Domitrz
Abstinence & Consent — Do They Belong Together? ~Mike Domitrz
Tough Audiences Need You! ~Mike Domitrz
Working with Students – Are They Difficult? ~Mike Domitrz
Do Your Kids Ask? Parents Teaching Respect & Healthy Dating ~Mike Domitrz
Date Rape, Rape, Sexual Assault, Prevention, Awareness – the words we use ~Mike Domitrz
Going Beyond What Is Expected ~Mike Domitrz

Articles Quoting Mike Domitrz

First-Date Body Language — Decoded ~MSN Dating & Personals, Spring ’05
May I Kiss You? Talk To Your Teen About Date Rape ~teenagerstoday.com, April ’04
The Girly Guide ~preteenagerstoday.com, Nov ’04
Boy Basics 101 ~preteenagerstoday.com, Dec ’03
Kobe Case Serves as Lesson for Pro Athletes ~Houston Chronicle, Oct ’03
How Parents Can Help Their Teens Through the Dating Years ~Style Weekly, Sep ’03
Kobe Case Disturbs Survivors of Rape ~Grand Junction Sentinel, Aug ’03

*To obtain permission to reprint any or all portions of these articles, E-mail Mike here

NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE. RAINN carries out programs to prevent sexual assault, help victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN uses its extensive entertainment industry and community-based connections to educate more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault.
Toll-Free: (800) 656-HOPE
Website: www.rainn.org

Help My Teen is an organization with over 20 years experience in counseling and connecting families with appropriate situations for their troubled teen. Through a network of associates and programs available we have been able to direct many besieged and divided families towards healing and unification to a common goal – that of appropriate and positive relationships with self and within the family and structure of society.
Toll-Free: (800) 247-1696
Website: http://helpmyteen.com

MaleSurvivor, the National Organization against Male Sexual Victimization, is committed to preventing, healing, and eliminating all forms of sexual victimization of boys and men through treatment, research, education, advocacy, and activism. The organization maintains a web site (www.malesurvivor.org) that includes a wealth of information for survivors and professionals about male sexual victimization as well as a Discussion Board and live Chat Room where survivors can network and support one another, anonymously if they wish. MaleSurvivor also publishes a newsletter and sponsors periodic conferences and healing retreats.
Website: www.malesurvivor.org

AdvocateWeb is the largest internet resource dealing with sexual misconduct, exploitation, and abuse of clients by mental health professionals, medical professionals, clergy, lawyers, educators, and law enforcement officials. AdvocateWeb offers extensvie free resources for victims, survivors, their families, friends, victim advocates, and professionals seeking to address this problem.
Website: www.advocateweb.org

The Awareness Center is the Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault (JCASA). JCASA is dedicated to addressing sexual violence in the Jewish communities around the world.
Toll-Free: (443) 857-5560
Website: www.theawarenesscenter.org

The Arizona Department of Health Services: Sexual Violence Prevention & Education provides rape prevention education to students, professionals, and community members. These interventions have covered all racial and ethnic groups throughout Arizona – including Native American and Hispanic groups.
Toll-Free: (602) 542-7343
Website: www.azrapeprevention.org

The Date Safe Project is committed to being a national leader in the mission to teach youth and adults that “asking first” makes all the difference in creating safer intimacy and decreasing occurrences of sexual assault. By producing interactive presentations, educational resources, and other national initiatives, we teach how a better understanding of consent leads to healthier dating and to a greater awareness of the many issues surrounding human sexuality and sexual assault.
Toll-Free: (800) 329-9650
Website: www.datesafeproject.org

National Domestic Violence Registry is the first national database model for domestic violence convictions available to the public. We have the opportunity to provide a major program that will vastly help in the prevention of domestic violence, guide citizens to making more informed decisions about those they date, exponentially raise awareness nationally for domestic violence incidences, and provide the opportunity to influence the history of crime prevention throughout the United States. Visit http://www.domesticviolencedatabase.org.

FaithTrust Institute is a national multifaith organization is working to end sexual and domestic violence. WE provide communities and advocates with the tools and knowledge they need to address religious and cultural issues related to abuse. Through training, consultation, and educational materials, we equip religious leaders sexual and domestic violence in their communities.
Website: www.faithtrustinstitute.org

National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) is a comprehensive collection and distribution center for information, statistics, and resources related to sexual violence. It serves as a resource for coalitions, rape crisis centers, allied organizations, and others working to eliminate sexual assault. The NSVRC does not provide direct services to sexual assault victims but rather supports those who do.
Toll-Free: (877) 739-3895
Website: http://www.nsvrc.org

SAKHI provides services for South Asian Women dealing with Domestic Violence.

Stop It Now! is a national non-profit working to prevent child sexual abuse using the tools of public health. Since 1992, our public policy, public education, and research programs have protected children by emphasizing adult and community responsibility.
Toll-Free: (888) PREVENT
Website: www.stopitnow.org

Security On Campus, Inc. is the only national non-profit organization devoted exclusively to providing services to the victims of violence on college campuses and to educate students. When SOC works with victims, university policies are changed for the better.
Toll-Free: (888) 251-7959
Website: www.securityoncampus.org

Men Can Stop Rape mobilizes male youth to prevent men’s violence against women. The organization builds young men’s capacity to challenge harmful aspects of traditional masculinity, to value alternative visions of male strength, and to embrace their vital role as allies with women and girls in fostering healthy relationships and gender equity.
Offices: (202) 265-6530
Website: www.mencanstoprape.org

Gift From Within A non-profit organization with educational materials for survivors of trauma, advocates and counselors.
Website: http://giftfromwithin.org/

SelfGrowth.com A complete guide to information about Self -Improvement, Personal Growth and Self Help on the Internet. It is designed to be an organized directory, with articles and references to thousands of other Web Sites on the World Wide Web.

Voices of Strength a new series of survivors sharing their words.

EbooksAndMoreForYou Offering ebooks on “Child Abuse Recovery.” Providing valuable information to people who were abused at any age and lists access to 1000s of recovery organizations in over 100 languages.

A Men’s Project (AMP) has links related to Men and Boys in North America.

STATE COALITIONS AGAINST SEXUAL ASSAULT

To find local rape crisis centers, click on the name of your state coalition against sexual assault and you will be forwarded to their website. If they do not have a working website, then call the number provided. They will be happy to help you the closest rape crisis center.

Alabama Coalition Against Rape
(334) 264-0123
acar.org

Alaska Network on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(907) 586-3650
andvsa.org

Arizona Sexual Assault Network (AzSAN)
(480) 831-1986
azsan.org

Arkansas Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(866) 63-ACASA
acasa.ws

California Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(916) 446-2520
calcasa.org

Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CCASA)
(303) 861-7033
ccasa.org

Connecticut Sexual Assault Crisis Services, Inc. (CONNSACS)
(888) 999-5545
connsacs.org

Sexual Assault Network of Delaware (SAND) c/o CONTACT Delaware
Crisis Line in Delaware: (800) 262-9800
contactlifeline.org

District of Columbia Rape Crisis Center
202-232-0789
dcrcc.org

Florida Council Against Sexual Violence
(850) 297-2000
fcasv.org

Georgia Network to End Sexual Assault
(866) 354-3672
gnesa.org

Dekalb (Georgia) Rape Crisis Program
(404) 377-1429
dekalbrapecrisiscenter.org

Hawaii Coalition for the Prevention of Sexual Assault
(808) 733-9038

Idaho Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence
(800) 669-3176
idvsa.org

Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault (ICASA)
(217) 753-4117
icasa.org

Indiana Coalition Against Sexual Assault, Inc. (INCASA)
(317) 423-0233
incasa.org

Iowa Coalition Against Sexual Assault (Iowa CASA)
(515) 244-7424
iowacasa.org

Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence
(785) 266-1874
kcsdv.org

Kentucky Association of Sexual Assault Programs, Inc.
(502) 226-2704
kyasap.net

Louisiana Foundation Against Sexual Assault (LaFASA)
(985) 345-5995
(888) 995-7273 (Toll-free number from Louisiana)
lafasa.org

Maine Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(800) 871-7741
mecasa.org

Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(410) 974-4507
mcasa.org

Jane Doe Inc., The Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence
(877) 785-2020
janedoe.org

Michigan Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence
(517) 381-4663
mcadsv.org

Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(800) 964-8847
mncasa.org

Mississippi Coalition Against Sexual Assault
Department of Health – Mississippi State
(888) 987-9011
mscasa.org

Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
(573) 634-4161
mocadsv.org

Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault
(816) 931-4527
mocsa.org

Montana Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence
(406) 443-7794
mcadsv.com

Nebraska Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Coalition (NDVSAC)
(402) 476-6256
ndvsac.org

Nevada Coalition Against Sexual Violence
(702) 914-6878 not a hotline number
Crisis Hotline: (800) 656-HOPE
ncasv.org

New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
Hotline: (800) 277-5570
nhcadsv.org

New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault -NJCASA
(609) 631-4450
Hotline: (800) 601-7200
njcasa.org

New Mexico Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs, Inc.
(505) 883-8020
nmcsap.com

New York State Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NYSCASA, Inc.)
(518) 482-4222
nyscasa.org

North Carolina Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NCCASA)
(919) 871-1015
nccasa.org

North Dakota Council on Abused Women’s Services – Coalition Against Sexual Assault in ND
(888) 255-6240
(701) 255-6240
ndcaws.org

Ohio Coalition on Sexual Assault (OCOSA)
(888) 336-2672
goldbamboo.com

Oklahoma Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(405) 524-0700
ocadvsa.org

Oregon Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence (OCADSV)
(503) 230-1951
ocadsv.com

Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape (PCAR)
(888) 772-PCAR
(717) 728-9740
pcar.org

Rhode Island Sexual Assault Coalition
(800) 494-8100
dayoneri.org

South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault
(803) 256-2900
(800) 260-9293
sccadvasa.org

South Dakota Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse
(605) 945-0869
southdakotacoalition.org

Tennessee Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
(615) 386-9406
(800) 356-6767 (Tennessee)
(800) 7997233 (National Domestic Violence Hotline)
tcadsv.org

Texas Association Against Sexual Assault (TAASA)
(512) 474-7190
taasa.org

Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(801) 746-0404
(888) 421-1100
ucasa.org

Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(802) 223-1302
(800) 489-7273
vtnetwork.org

Virginia Sexaul and Domestic Violence Action Alliance
(434) 979-9002
vadv.org

Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs
(800) 775-8013
wcsap.org

West Virginia Foundation for Rape Information & Services
(304) 366-9500
fris.org

Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault (WCASA)
Phone/TTY: (608) 257-1516
wcasa.org

Wyoming Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault
(800) 799-7233
wyomingdvsa.org

**If you are a survivor of sexual assault who has an internet site or blog, please e-mail us at info@DateSafeProject.org with the link you want us to add to this section of our website. All we request is for you to first have a link to http://www.DateSafeProject.org.

Additional Articles for Survivors of Sexual Assault

Legal Tools for Survivors of Sexual Assault

Schools, Campuses, and Communities addressing healthy dating, consent, bystander intervention, and supporting survivors

“Can I Kiss You?” Program for Middle Schools and High Schools addressing healthy dating, sexual assault, consent, and bystander intervention

Senior high school student in England speaks of ASKING FIRST

This Senior student at Lakenheath High School makes a strong statement about consent and asking first. LEAVE A COMMENT to let him know what you think (he is excited to see your comments)!

Share your thoughts by LEAVING A COMMENT!

Continuing the message long after the program!

Are you aware of the IMPACT the “Can I Kiss You?” show will have in your community weeks and even months AFTER the presentation? The program is designed with short-term and long-term planning to insure significant change for years to follow. Toward the bottom of this page, you will read one example of a community (especially student leaders) taking powerful steps for their current and FUTURE school year.

How does the “Can I Kiss You?” program overcome the pitfall of other educational lectures which only stimulate excitement for a day or two? Here at The Date Safe Project Inc, we provide ample resources and materials for each school system to continue the lessons learned in every presentation! The “Do You Ask?” poster series is the most direct consent based educational poster series used throughout the world. Each poster is both eye-catching and educational. The “Do You Ask?” theme of this innovative poster campaign teaches students “The only way you can absolutely know what your partner wants is by asking first!” When you bring Mike to speak, be sure to ask Rita about purchasing some of these great posters for your school and community. You can see all the posters at: www.DoYouAsk.org

In addition to the powerful line of posters, you can utilize both of Mike Domitrz’s books, May I Kiss You? and Voices of Courage, to continue the lessons and skills shared throughout the day with Mike on your campus. Get the books for a discounted bulk price in the 100 PACK special package. With the 100 PACK, you choose 100 books (any combination of the 2 books you want) and you get each book for only $8 (over 50% discount). Plus, Mike will be happy to sign each book for you and your students. Click here to get the 100 PACK now!

Next, start a “Pledge for Action” campaign in your schools and community. Learn more at www.PledgeForAction.org.

Plus, use the online forums here on the website to discover ideas with others and to share your own successes and lessons learned from your community and school efforts!

READ THIS POWERFUL EXAMPLE FROM THREE COMMUNITIES

Below is one letter from a sexual assault crisis center sharing a great example of how students put the lessons from the program and from Mike Domitrz into action in their schools, towns, and cities:

Through a community education grant, Hope House of South Central Wisconsin was able to co-sponsor Mike Domitrz’s “Can I Kiss You?” program at three of our local high schools in Columbia County. We had wanted to bring Mike to our area for some time and were thrilled when we had the opportunity to do so. Mike did a fantastic job connecting with all of the students and using humor to demonstrate his simple yet vital messages about respect and consent. One principal told us that she felt it had a great impact and that they have never had an assembly where so many students and teachers were talking about it. She even received a call from a parent saying thank you for bringing Mike to speak because her sons came home that night and initiated a conversation about respecting women!

Although Mike’s presentations were towards the end of the school year, we diligently worked with the schools’ staff to build on the momentum Mike’s appearance had created. Hope House utilized the opportunity to talk about Mike’s program during the presentations that we normally give to the Health, Family Living, and Social Studies classes. At all three high schools, we worked with staff to find students that were interested in creating posters that would help reiterate Mike’s messages. Students created posters with messages (in English and Spanish), such as “Did you ask?”, “Respect the Answer”, “Respect Yourself”, “Respect Your Partner”, “Have you opened a door?”, “Ask Before You Act”, and “Be a Friend”. These posters, along with Mike’s Date Safe Project posters, have been put up in the schools for the last couple weeks of class – a great reminder for students as they start their summer vacations. In addition to creating posters, the students signed their names on a large white sheet of paper that had Mike’s Pledge of Action attached to it. The names on the list are adding up every day as the student bodies now have the opportunity to sign.

One of the high school’s Student Council organized an Awareness Day as a result of Mike’s presentations. Hope House gave them extra “Can I Kiss You?” tattoos to wear during the event. They created a display of Mike’s books, May I Kiss You? and Voices of Courage, along with other school library books related to sexual and dating violence, and Hope House helpline cards and brochures. They created and distributed pins for students made of teal and purple ribbon to raise awareness about sexual assault and domestic violence. They also had the large sheet of paper with the Pledge of Action available for students to sign.

Hope House is continuing to meet with school staff to see if there are additional activities that we can do with students over the summer and next year, such as putting their posters up in popular summer hang-out spots, working with students during a summer leadership program, publishing an article for parents in the schools’ fall newsletter, and creating social norms posters related to the student assembly pre- and post-test survey results. All of these opportunities and exciting momentum would not have happened without Mike’s programs.

Jess Ritschke, Community Education Coordinator,
Hope House of South Central Wisconsin

CALL 800-329-9390 TODAY.
Ask about the NEW INSTRUCTOR’s GUIDE

Click here to send us an e-mail.

Continuing the Impact Long Term

On this page, you will DISCOVER:

Do You Ask? Educational Poster Series
Critically-Acclaimed Books
Pledge for Action

POSTERS

After you bring an educational program to your campus, do you wish you had more opportunities to continue the lessons learned in the expert’s presentation? Now you can! The “Do You Ask?” poster series is the most direct consent based educational poster series used throughout the world. Each poster is both eye-catching and educational. The “Do You Ask?” theme of this innovative poster campaign teaches everyone, “The only way you can absolutely know what your partner wants is by asking first!” Plus, the poster series now includes new posters addressing bystander intervention toward dating violence and healthy relationships.

You get outstanding discounts when purchasing bulk quantities of the posters. With 50 or more posters, you save over 40% off EVERY poster AND you get 2 posters for the price of 1. (which means you are really saving 80% off each poster). Check the popular posters out at www.doyouask.org!!

BOOKS

Voices of Courage

May I Kiss You? written by Mike Domitrz

In addition to the powerful line of posters, you can utilize both of Mike Domitrz’s books, May I Kiss You? and Voices of Courage, to continue the lessons and skills shared throughout the day with Mike on your campus. Get the books for a discounted bulk price in the 100 PACK special package. With the 100 PACK, you choose 100 books (any combination of the 2 books you want) and you get each book for only $8 (over 50% discount). Mike will be happy to sign each book for you, your students, and staff. Plus, you can include the “Can I Kiss You?” T-shirts in the 100 PACK. Call 800-329-9390 to get the 100 Pack NOW!!!

PLEDGE for ACTION

Plus, the Pledge for Action^RM is an educational campaign to use throughout your campus, community and region. Pledge for Action^RM is a powerful agreement students, partners, families, educators, and individuals sign to pledge that they will do their best to help their family, friends and peers in potentially dangerous moments concerning alcohol, drugs, and sexual assault. After you have read the agreement and/or used it with students, please scroll down this page to share your comments.

How it works? Each individual signs one copy of the full agreement and signs one copy of the Hearts Page. You can download the entire agreement (full page and hearts page) when you scroll down this page. The signed copy of the full page is given to the individual to take home and the signed Hearts page is to be placed in specific locations around your school and/or community. By placing all the signed hearts throughout your school (and in the nearby communities), your students, their families and the entire community will realize how many people DO care about this issue and are committed to helping others!

PLEDGE FOR ACTION^RM

I, ____________________________________________, pledge to do my best to help my family, friends, and peers in potentially dangerous situations in which drugs, alcohol, a violent person, or other threats to their safety and well-being are present. I will do this by having the focus and self-control necessary to remain aware of my surroundings, the wisdom to identify dangerous situations, and the courage to take action in confronting my friends when their judgment is impaired.

I recognize that these dangerous situations may arise at times when people feel safe and comfortable, such as at bars, parties (especially when alcohol is influencing the situation and a person is trying to “hook up” with another individual), or in the context of a romantic relationship. I realize that it may not always be easy to help people from harm in these situations, but by remaining watchful and showing care and concern, I may help to prevent a sexual assault from occurring.

I understand that the ONLY person responsible for a sexual assault is the person who engages in sexual contact without the consent of the other person. Through my own positive words, actions, and beliefs, I am taking the responsibility of helping to end sexual assault. I will share with people the importance of consent and the need to obtain consent with your partner by Asking First. I will treat all survivors of sexual assault with my respect and admiration. I will inform all of my family, friends, and peers that “If anyone ever has or ever does sexually touch you without your consent, I will fully support you. I will always be here for you. Always (from simply listening to helping you seek the proper support from professionals)!” During the next 24 hours, I will start putting this pledge into action by saying these words to at least 3 people.

Sexual assault is a horrific and traumatic crime. My active commitment to this project will help reduce the violence in my community and create a safer atmosphere for everyone.

DOWNLOAD the 2 page PLEDGE FOR ACTION^RM to utilize in your community!

BEGIN the Impact Today. Call 800-329-9390.
Ask About the Special Offfer.

**You can click here to send us an email.

Teenagers in North Texas Address Teen Dating Violence

As we find ourselves right in the middle of National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Week, I am encouraged to see teens and schools around the country participating in making a difference.

What we fail to realize is dating violence is often learned in schools from peers. Educating our teens about healthy relationships and raising awareness will greatly reduce the cycle of violence.

The Family Place and the Allstate foundation in the Dallas area in particular have done a wonderful job in creating awareness and providing tools for teens and families. The two teams joined forces to develop a 10 week teen dating violence awareness curriculum. The curriculum is being taught in 25 schools around the Dallas area and meets the requirements of the Texas mandate requiring all schools to develop a dating violence policy.

I look forward to the day that all schools offer this type of violence and awareness training.

Wichita Teen Speaks Out Against Dating Violence

With this week being dedicated nationally to addressing Teen Dating Violence, we are working hard to provide you insightful tips, stories, and inspirations throughout this week. Today’s focus? How do teens recover from violence? What outlets can we give them to express themselves?

Brian Latta, a Digital Productions teacher at Northwest High School in Wichita, Kansas assigned his class a project. He challenged his students to create a public service announcement about teen dating abuse. The public service announcement they were creating could only be one minute in length.

Not a lot of time to send an entire message. Not until one of his students took the challenge head on!

Ashley Hoyle experienced teen dating violence first hand. She is a survivor.

She wanted to express to teens, adults, law enforcement, and educators just how serious the problem is and how hard it is to recognize the signs. Ashley was able to tell others through her video what she wasn’t able to verbalize about her experience. Her message was so strong that she was selected to be the National Spokeswoman for National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week which started yesterday (on Sunday).

Not only was she given the opportunity to warn and help others but she also has found a way to experience healing for herself. As I travel the country, I continually meet incredible survivors who share how writing, performance, or some form of expressing themselvs is what really sped up the healing and recovery process for them as survivors. Many of the surivors in the book "Voices of Courage" have talked about how powerful writing their chapter for the book was for their own personal journeys. Then to hear from other survivors who have praised the book — has simply made the journey that much more meaningful for them.

Being part of an abusive relationship eats away at self esteem. The abuser uses control and manipulation to slowly or quickly eliminate a victim’s self esteem. Providing the ability for a survivor to do something constructive with his/her experience re-builds the self-esteem.

When working with abused teens, explore what re-builds their self-esteem. What projects and contests can you sponsor or create in your schools and communities? Who will you team up with? Local TV, local cable access networks, print media, retailers, etc…

Self-esteem can also grow through finding ways to experience success in other venues: a sport, hobby or interest. Help survivors recognize how special they are to the world. Remind them of their many talents that make them remarkable. More than anything, help them realize how incredible they are for THEMSELVES.

This posting was inspired by the following article:
"Wichita teen a national speaker on abuse" by JILLIAN COHAN with Wichita Eagle. Click here to read full article.

Parents need to take notice of signs for dating violence and abuse of teenagers

When it comes to teen violence, many families struggle to notice it, even with their own children. Some people write off inappropriate comments by thinking, "That just part of being a teenager" or "Kids will be kids." Other adults are intimidated by their own ignorance. You may not know the current language teenagers are using and so you feel out of touch. Instead of embarrassing yourself when intervening, you simply avoid the potential conflict. You do nothing.

Plus, we think as teenagers, they would speak out if someone their own age was making them feel uncomfortable or was hurting them. Reality is the direct opposite. Approval and being "part of the crowd" puts extreme pressure on teenagers NOT to speak out, even when they know something is not right. You don’t want to be the kid who ratted on someone.

What are the signs? Here are some starting points for teenagers (and even pre-teens) to look out for:

Extreme jealousy
Controlling behavior
Quick involvement
Unpredictable mood swings
Alcohol and drug use
Explosive anger
Isolates you from friends and family
Uses force during an argument
Shows hypersensitivity
Believes in rigid sex roles
Blames others for his problems or feelings
Cruel to animals and children
Verbally abusive
Abused former partners
Threatens violence

The above 15 points are from Michelle Woods and her team at MayDay Inc. Michelle also states that as an educator and law enforcement, you should be on the lookout for these signs:

Physical signs of injury
Truancy, dropping out of school
Failing grades
Indecision
Changes in mood or personality
Use of drugs or alcohol
Emotional outbursts
Isolation

Bottom line, we need to teach our teens to choose better relationships and partners. Re-enforce the qualities of a loving and fair partner. As parents, we are responsible for teaching teens the warning signs.

Here is a recent article where these tips were provided by Michelle Woods and MayDay Inc:
Baker City Herald – MayDay Helps Teens Avoid Violence

Students, Teachers, Parents, and Administrators Tackle Sexual Harrassment

Monday, February 4, 2008 marks the third annual “National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week’. Beginning Monday, students across the country will begin campaigns bringing to light this reality among our children. Sadly, this reality has been an unnoticed problem for a long time.

According to the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) a reported 9% of American teens reported they have been physically hurt by their boyfriend or girlfriend. Even more frightening is the way technology is being used to stalk, intimidate and abuse our children. Many teens are embarrassed to admit this is going on and it goes unreported.

As parents, educators, and law enforcement, it is our responsibility to teach our children that violence and dating is not ok, to identify what is acceptable behavior, and what to do if they do not like how they are being treated. We need to give them the tools to stay safe and date safe!

Here are some great links for more information: www.TheSafeSpace.org and www.BreakTheCycle.org

SHARE In the "Comments" section what students are doing in your area. If you have ideas for schools, parents, or law enforcement, share with us.

Articles Written by Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Articles Quoting Mike Domitrz

NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS

STATE COALITIONS AGAINST SEXUAL ASSAULT

Sites run by Survivors of Sexual Assault

Additional Articles for Survivors of Sexual Assault

READ THIS POWERFUL EXAMPLE FROM THREE COMMUNITIES

CALL 800-329-9390 TODAY. Ask about the NEW INSTRUCTOR’s GUIDE

POSTERS

BOOKS

PLEDGE for ACTION

BEGIN the Impact Today. Call 800-329-9390. Ask About the Special Offfer.

Discover Captivating Posters

CALL 800-329-9390 TODAY.
Ask about the NEW INSTRUCTOR’s GUIDE

BEGIN the Impact Today. Call 800-329-9390.
Ask About the Special Offfer.