Teen, college, and military sexual assault, school healthy dating, intimacy, and bystander intervention resources brought to you by The Date Safe Project, Inc. » schools

Sex Ed: For Parents or Students (preteens or teens)?

Mike Domitrz — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 17:48:17 +0000

Who needs Sex Ed more? Parents or students (preteens or teens)? From Abstinence Only to Comprehensive Sex Ed, Sex Ed has various meanings and belief systems attached to the concept depending on your community, upbringing, school system, government, and many more variables.

While many towns and cities around the country debate how and if “Sex Ed” should be handled IN the school, WHO needs “Sex Ed” becomes an interesting question. This past summer in an article that didn’t capture the media’s attention, a college student stated he thought PARENTS need Sex Ed today.

As I travel the world speaking with parents, many Moms and Dads share real stories of how naive their fellow parents are when it comes to dating and sexual activity among their pre-teen and teenager sons and daughters. Parents constantly share how everyone wants to believe, “Not my child.”

For parents who do believe in discussing Sex Ed at home, some if not many often don’t know HOW to talk about the issue – besides trying to scare their child away from intimacy. When you share with parents about a sexual fad taking place among school age children, many Moms and Dads look at you with disbelief. Sometimes, you even hear someone say, “I’m 45 years old and have never tried that – and never would.” Their children are thinking and sometimes acting beyond their parent’s imagination.

What do you think? Do today’s parents need Sex Education? What do you think parents need to learn and/or discover? Since many people say, “That is a subject which should be taught at home,” is home the ONLY right place for teaching “Sex Ed”? Would teaching both AT HOME and AT SCHOOL be more effective or less? Do most parents at home have the right information for teaching the subject matter? If you think parents do need Sex Ed, how would you recommend providing the education and actually getting parents to attend?

Share your thoughts and ideas in the COMMENTS section below.

Written by Mike Domitrz on December 16, 2011

Teens & Texting: What To Do?

Mike Domitrz — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 15:43:55 +0000

Yes, texting is in the news again. How do you oversee the use? Lets compare to how teens use computers. For safety and overseeing what is occurring on your home computers, I am a big advocate for a program called WebWatcher.

You don’t censor with WebWatcher. You watch what decisions are being made on your computers. The information you learn helps you have better conversations with your teens about “appropriate use of the internet.” You are not spying because you can tell your teens you keep an eye on the computers in the house (after all, your home computer lets people in and out of your home at any hour someone is on that computer).

We need to understand texting can have an equal impact on your child and/or family. When Texting first came out, many of us advised parents from having teens use Texting unless for an emergency situation. Now the use of texting is so widespread, all of us must learn to address the “appropriate and proper use” of texting.

How and When are your teens texting? According to a recent study by the creators of an app called textPlus, “43% of teenagers use their cell phones to text during class.” From educators I’ve spoke with, they believe 43% may be low. Here is a great example of improper use. How do you solve it? Share how having a phone or iTouch comes with responsibility.

Share with your teenager, “I believe you can handle the responsibility which is why you have a phone/iTouch. If you can’t handle the responsibility, then we need to limit the use of your phone and/or iTouch. For instance, if we discover the phone/iTouch is being used during school, you will not be able to take the phone/iTouch to school. We’re not going to yell out. We will simply require you leave it at home when going to school.“

Yes, I am the parent of high school students. I understand the pressure for parents to feel like “All the other parents let their kids do whatever they want with their phones.” However, you hopefully wouldn’t let your teenager use that false logic for decision-making of “everyone else is doing it” and so remind yourself not to fall into the trap when parenting.

The classroom use of texting is just one example of the distraction texting can cause in one’s life. The dangers of texting are much worse. We haven’t even mention sexting in today’s blog (because we’ve addressed sexting in the past and will do so again in the near future).

Share your thoughts, fears and/or concerns about texting in our COMMENTS section below. I will personally respond to each comment!

QUICK TIDBIT:
While there is no guarantees with parenting, the more involved and AWARE you are in your child’s life, the more you have an opportunity to create a positive impact!

Remember to leave a comment below. I look forward to personally responding to each comment!!!

Written by Mike Domitrz on February 26, 2011

Articles and Resources

The Date Safe Project Inc — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 05:46:17 +0000

Articles Written by Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Articles Quoting Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Resources

National Organizations

State Coalitions Against Sexual Assault

Sites Run by Survivors of Sexual Assault

Additional Articles for Survivors.

Articles Written by Mike Domitrz & The Date Safe Project

Below, you will find articles and press releases addressing various issues regarding healthy dating and sexual assault awareness. To obtain permission to reprint any or all portions of the below articles written by Mike Domitrz, e-mail by clicking here.

The “Slut Reputation” Discussion ~Mike Domitrz
Abstinence & Consent — Do They Belong Together? ~Mike Domitrz
Tough Audiences Need You! ~Mike Domitrz
Working with Students – Are They Difficult? ~Mike Domitrz
Do Your Kids Ask? Parents Teaching Respect & Healthy Dating ~Mike Domitrz
Date Rape, Rape, Sexual Assault, Prevention, Awareness – the words we use ~Mike Domitrz
Going Beyond What Is Expected ~Mike Domitrz

Articles Quoting Mike Domitrz

First-Date Body Language — Decoded ~MSN Dating & Personals, Spring ’05
May I Kiss You? Talk To Your Teen About Date Rape ~teenagerstoday.com, April ’04
The Girly Guide ~preteenagerstoday.com, Nov ’04
Boy Basics 101 ~preteenagerstoday.com, Dec ’03
Kobe Case Serves as Lesson for Pro Athletes ~Houston Chronicle, Oct ’03
How Parents Can Help Their Teens Through the Dating Years ~Style Weekly, Sep ’03
Kobe Case Disturbs Survivors of Rape ~Grand Junction Sentinel, Aug ’03

*To obtain permission to reprint any or all portions of these articles, E-mail Mike here

NATIONAL ORGANIZATIONS

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE. RAINN carries out programs to prevent sexual assault, help victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice. RAINN uses its extensive entertainment industry and community-based connections to educate more than 120 million Americans each year about sexual assault.
Toll-Free: (800) 656-HOPE
Website: www.rainn.org

Help My Teen is an organization with over 20 years experience in counseling and connecting families with appropriate situations for their troubled teen. Through a network of associates and programs available we have been able to direct many besieged and divided families towards healing and unification to a common goal – that of appropriate and positive relationships with self and within the family and structure of society.
Toll-Free: (800) 247-1696
Website: http://helpmyteen.com

MaleSurvivor, the National Organization against Male Sexual Victimization, is committed to preventing, healing, and eliminating all forms of sexual victimization of boys and men through treatment, research, education, advocacy, and activism. The organization maintains a web site (www.malesurvivor.org) that includes a wealth of information for survivors and professionals about male sexual victimization as well as a Discussion Board and live Chat Room where survivors can network and support one another, anonymously if they wish. MaleSurvivor also publishes a newsletter and sponsors periodic conferences and healing retreats.
Website: www.malesurvivor.org

AdvocateWeb is the largest internet resource dealing with sexual misconduct, exploitation, and abuse of clients by mental health professionals, medical professionals, clergy, lawyers, educators, and law enforcement officials. AdvocateWeb offers extensvie free resources for victims, survivors, their families, friends, victim advocates, and professionals seeking to address this problem.
Website: www.advocateweb.org

The Awareness Center is the Jewish Coalition Against Sexual Abuse/Assault (JCASA). JCASA is dedicated to addressing sexual violence in the Jewish communities around the world.
Toll-Free: (443) 857-5560
Website: www.theawarenesscenter.org

The Arizona Department of Health Services: Sexual Violence Prevention & Education provides rape prevention education to students, professionals, and community members. These interventions have covered all racial and ethnic groups throughout Arizona – including Native American and Hispanic groups.
Toll-Free: (602) 542-7343
Website: www.azrapeprevention.org

The Date Safe Project is committed to being a national leader in the mission to teach youth and adults that “asking first” makes all the difference in creating safer intimacy and decreasing occurrences of sexual assault. By producing interactive presentations, educational resources, and other national initiatives, we teach how a better understanding of consent leads to healthier dating and to a greater awareness of the many issues surrounding human sexuality and sexual assault.
Toll-Free: (800) 329-9650
Website: www.datesafeproject.org

National Domestic Violence Registry is the first national database model for domestic violence convictions available to the public. We have the opportunity to provide a major program that will vastly help in the prevention of domestic violence, guide citizens to making more informed decisions about those they date, exponentially raise awareness nationally for domestic violence incidences, and provide the opportunity to influence the history of crime prevention throughout the United States. Visit http://www.domesticviolencedatabase.org.

FaithTrust Institute is a national multifaith organization is working to end sexual and domestic violence. WE provide communities and advocates with the tools and knowledge they need to address religious and cultural issues related to abuse. Through training, consultation, and educational materials, we equip religious leaders sexual and domestic violence in their communities.
Website: www.faithtrustinstitute.org

National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) is a comprehensive collection and distribution center for information, statistics, and resources related to sexual violence. It serves as a resource for coalitions, rape crisis centers, allied organizations, and others working to eliminate sexual assault. The NSVRC does not provide direct services to sexual assault victims but rather supports those who do.
Toll-Free: (877) 739-3895
Website: http://www.nsvrc.org

SAKHI provides services for South Asian Women dealing with Domestic Violence.

Stop It Now! is a national non-profit working to prevent child sexual abuse using the tools of public health. Since 1992, our public policy, public education, and research programs have protected children by emphasizing adult and community responsibility.
Toll-Free: (888) PREVENT
Website: www.stopitnow.org

Security On Campus, Inc. is the only national non-profit organization devoted exclusively to providing services to the victims of violence on college campuses and to educate students. When SOC works with victims, university policies are changed for the better.
Toll-Free: (888) 251-7959
Website: www.securityoncampus.org

Men Can Stop Rape mobilizes male youth to prevent men’s violence against women. The organization builds young men’s capacity to challenge harmful aspects of traditional masculinity, to value alternative visions of male strength, and to embrace their vital role as allies with women and girls in fostering healthy relationships and gender equity.
Offices: (202) 265-6530
Website: www.mencanstoprape.org

Gift From Within A non-profit organization with educational materials for survivors of trauma, advocates and counselors.
Website: http://giftfromwithin.org/

SelfGrowth.com A complete guide to information about Self -Improvement, Personal Growth and Self Help on the Internet. It is designed to be an organized directory, with articles and references to thousands of other Web Sites on the World Wide Web.

Voices of Strength a new series of survivors sharing their words.

EbooksAndMoreForYou Offering ebooks on “Child Abuse Recovery.” Providing valuable information to people who were abused at any age and lists access to 1000s of recovery organizations in over 100 languages.

A Men’s Project (AMP) has links related to Men and Boys in North America.

STATE COALITIONS AGAINST SEXUAL ASSAULT

To find local rape crisis centers, click on the name of your state coalition against sexual assault and you will be forwarded to their website. If they do not have a working website, then call the number provided. They will be happy to help you the closest rape crisis center.

Alabama Coalition Against Rape
(334) 264-0123
acar.org

Alaska Network on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(907) 586-3650
andvsa.org

Arizona Sexual Assault Network (AzSAN)
(480) 831-1986
azsan.org

Arkansas Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(866) 63-ACASA
acasa.ws

California Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(916) 446-2520
calcasa.org

Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault (CCASA)
(303) 861-7033
ccasa.org

Connecticut Sexual Assault Crisis Services, Inc. (CONNSACS)
(888) 999-5545
connsacs.org

Sexual Assault Network of Delaware (SAND) c/o CONTACT Delaware
Crisis Line in Delaware: (800) 262-9800
contactlifeline.org

District of Columbia Rape Crisis Center
202-232-0789
dcrcc.org

Florida Council Against Sexual Violence
(850) 297-2000
fcasv.org

Georgia Network to End Sexual Assault
(866) 354-3672
gnesa.org

Dekalb (Georgia) Rape Crisis Program
(404) 377-1429
dekalbrapecrisiscenter.org

Hawaii Coalition for the Prevention of Sexual Assault
(808) 733-9038

Idaho Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence
(800) 669-3176
idvsa.org

Illinois Coalition Against Sexual Assault (ICASA)
(217) 753-4117
icasa.org

Indiana Coalition Against Sexual Assault, Inc. (INCASA)
(317) 423-0233
incasa.org

Iowa Coalition Against Sexual Assault (Iowa CASA)
(515) 244-7424
iowacasa.org

Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence
(785) 266-1874
kcsdv.org

Kentucky Association of Sexual Assault Programs, Inc.
(502) 226-2704
kyasap.net

Louisiana Foundation Against Sexual Assault (LaFASA)
(985) 345-5995
(888) 995-7273 (Toll-free number from Louisiana)
lafasa.org

Maine Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(800) 871-7741
mecasa.org

Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(410) 974-4507
mcasa.org

Jane Doe Inc., The Massachusetts Coalition Against Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence
(877) 785-2020
janedoe.org

Michigan Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence
(517) 381-4663
mcadsv.org

Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(800) 964-8847
mncasa.org

Mississippi Coalition Against Sexual Assault
Department of Health – Mississippi State
(888) 987-9011
mscasa.org

Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
(573) 634-4161
mocadsv.org

Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault
(816) 931-4527
mocsa.org

Montana Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence
(406) 443-7794
mcadsv.com

Nebraska Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Coalition (NDVSAC)
(402) 476-6256
ndvsac.org

Nevada Coalition Against Sexual Violence
(702) 914-6878 not a hotline number
Crisis Hotline: (800) 656-HOPE
ncasv.org

New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
Hotline: (800) 277-5570
nhcadsv.org

New Jersey Coalition Against Sexual Assault -NJCASA
(609) 631-4450
Hotline: (800) 601-7200
njcasa.org

New Mexico Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs, Inc.
(505) 883-8020
nmcsap.com

New York State Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NYSCASA, Inc.)
(518) 482-4222
nyscasa.org

North Carolina Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NCCASA)
(919) 871-1015
nccasa.org

North Dakota Council on Abused Women’s Services – Coalition Against Sexual Assault in ND
(888) 255-6240
(701) 255-6240
ndcaws.org

Ohio Coalition on Sexual Assault (OCOSA)
(888) 336-2672
goldbamboo.com

Oklahoma Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(405) 524-0700
ocadvsa.org

Oregon Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence (OCADSV)
(503) 230-1951
ocadsv.com

Pennsylvania Coalition Against Rape (PCAR)
(888) 772-PCAR
(717) 728-9740
pcar.org

Rhode Island Sexual Assault Coalition
(800) 494-8100
dayoneri.org

South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault
(803) 256-2900
(800) 260-9293
sccadvasa.org

South Dakota Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse
(605) 945-0869
southdakotacoalition.org

Tennessee Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
(615) 386-9406
(800) 356-6767 (Tennessee)
(800) 7997233 (National Domestic Violence Hotline)
tcadsv.org

Texas Association Against Sexual Assault (TAASA)
(512) 474-7190
taasa.org

Utah Coalition Against Sexual Assault
(801) 746-0404
(888) 421-1100
ucasa.org

Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
(802) 223-1302
(800) 489-7273
vtnetwork.org

Virginia Sexaul and Domestic Violence Action Alliance
(434) 979-9002
vadv.org

Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs
(800) 775-8013
wcsap.org

West Virginia Foundation for Rape Information & Services
(304) 366-9500
fris.org

Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault (WCASA)
Phone/TTY: (608) 257-1516
wcasa.org

Wyoming Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault
(800) 799-7233
wyomingdvsa.org

**If you are a survivor of sexual assault who has an internet site or blog, please e-mail us at info@DateSafeProject.org with the link you want us to add to this section of our website. All we request is for you to first have a link to http://www.DateSafeProject.org.

Additional Articles for Survivors of Sexual Assault

Legal Tools for Survivors of Sexual Assault

Written by The Date Safe Project Inc on February 12, 2011

Schools, Campuses, and Communities addressing healthy dating, consent, bystander intervention, and supporting survivors

Mike Domitrz — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 04:32:58 +0000

Written by Mike Domitrz on January 26, 2011

Want a Program donated?

Mike Domitrz — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 16:30:22 +0000

Would you love to have the “Can I Kiss You?” program and/or “HELP! My Teen Is Dating” seminar for parents presented at your service group (guest speaker) or for a local non-profit organization, faith institution, community group, or a regional/national conference?

Every year, we at The Date Safe Project Inc donate a number of presentations to non-profits and organizations requesting our help. Giving back to the community and society is an important part of our mission. Thus in 2011, we are greatly increasing the number of programs we will be donating!

To be considered for a donated presentation, go to our “Contact Us” page and answer the following questions (be sure to give us all your answers in detail):

The Details of the Event: time, date, and place (facility, city, state).
Hosting organization.
Goal of the event.
Who and how many individuals will be in attendance. Be SPECIFIC. How many of each of the following groups will be attending: parents, educators, crisis centers, and students? For students, tell us how many of each age group (middle school, high school, college/university).
Do you have Sponsors for the event (local, regional, or national corporations)?
Is the event a Fund-Raiser for a non-profit?
WHY you believe your event should receive a donated presentation.
If your event is not within 120 miles of Milwaukee (WI), would you be willing to pay for travel expenses: transportation, flights (if needed), lodging, and food?

URGENCY:
The sooner you apply, the BETTER! The Fall is almost already full and so your best option for available dates is the next few months (January – March). You could ask for a date one week from now and potentially be granted your request! Why? Campuses are just getting back and K12 school systems are in the middle of finals. Consequently, availability does exist. This is the BEST time to make a request.

IMPORTANT: Please understand that while we are greatly increasing the number of donated shows for 2011, not everyone will be able to receive a donated program. If we are not able to fill your request for a donated presentation, we WILL be happy to work with you to provide funding options for still bringing the requested program to your community.

REMEMBER to go to our “Contact Us” page and answer all the previous questions listed above (be sure to give us all your answers in detail). Help make a HUGE IMPACT in your community today!!

Written by Mike Domitrz on January 17, 2011

Single, Married, Parents, and Schools

The Date Safe Project Inc — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 14:30:35 +0000

On this page, DISCOVER:

#1 for Single, Committed, & MARRIED individuals!
The Program for Parents in the Military & Their Teens!
Presentations for Your DoDEA Schools (and local schools)

#1 for Single, Committed, & MARRIED individuals!

As you know, finding an educational and engaging program for the men and women on your installation can be difficult because you have single individuals, people in committed relationships who are not married, and you have married couples. One of the best aspects of the “Can I Kiss You?” program and Mike Domitrz’s approach is “Asking First“, “Opening a Door,” and “Being a Friend” works no matter what kind of a relationship you are in or are not in. Why? Because INTIMACY can occur in each situation (single or married).

Mike’s upfront approach enables and encourages the men and women in the audience to ask more detailed questions. Thus, giving individuals great opportunity to dig deep into their own situation and explore the exact application of respect, asking first, and supporting survivors in their specific lives. No other program addresses this unique diversity which exists in every audience.

Time and time again, military men and women say, “Thank You” to Mike for creating an open and honest atmosphere which included everyone (single or married). Ironically, such appreciation is shown from both singles and married couples – both groups often feel other presentations tend to only speak to one of them and not the other. “Can I Kiss You?” breaks that perception barrier and brings everyone into the conversation!

PARENTS, Their TEENS, and the Schools

Family life has one of the biggest influences on the men and women in our military. Providing useful and insightful resources which can give our military members with teenagers real solutions to challenges in their home leads to more focused & well-rounded military members.

The HELP! My Teen Is Dating. Realistic Solutions to Tough Conversations seminar is changing the way parents and their teenagers are approaching, discussing, and handling decision-making regarding dating, intimacy, and parties.

In one hour, parents will discover several simple steps to effectively engaging their teenagers. Best of all, the lessons are designed to be flexible to the personality of EACH TEENAGER in a family. As you are aware, no one solution exists for every teenager or for every parent. Each child, parent, and family is different. In this interactive program, you will laugh, learn, and be inspired to take immediate action upon getting home. Mike Domitrz will even give you a few tips to help get the conversation rolling – without your son’s or daughter’s eyes rolling back at you.

**This workshop is based on Mike Domitrz’s award-winning DVD by the same title.

SCHOOLS (DoDEA and local schools)

Middle schools and high schools fully understand how important discussions on respect, boundaries, healthy dating, intervening with friends in difficult situations, and addressing sexual assault is for their students. The “Can I Kiss You?” general assembly for middle schools and high schools is one of the most sought-after programs in the United States.

Hundreds of students engaged!

As you may be aware, DoDEA schools (and local schools) often struggle to find an age appropriate presentation they can bring to their students and families. One of the greatest benefits of bringing Mike Domitrz’s briefing to your installation is you can ALSO bring the “Can I Kiss You?” program to your schools during the same day. ENTER HERE to discover all the information you will want on the K12 version of this interactive, skills based presentation for students and staff.

THE ULTIMATE DAY

More and more military installations are having The Date Safe Project, Inc and Mike Domitrz provide an educational package which is truly all inclusive. The military gets fantastic training, teens of our military members get a whole new approach to decision-making, and their parents gain simple skills to reinforcing positive choices back in the home. For installations who want to provide their men and women the ultimate experience and growth opportunity, they will often do at least the following:

1:30pm: “Can I Kiss You?” Educational Show for K12 Schools.

3:00pm: “Can I Kiss You?” Briefing for Men and Women Serving in the Military

6:30pm: “HELP! My Teen Is Dating” Workshop for parents.

Of course, you don’t have to squeeze everything into one day. Installations will frequently schedule Mike to speak on multiple days to insure enough briefings are available for all men and women to experience the training – while also providing time for the school programs and the evening workshops for parents. Help create lifelong change for your military community by bringing all 3 presentations to your installation!

Help Your Parents & Schools. Call 800-329-9390.
Ask About the Special Offfer.

**You can click here to send us an email.

Written by The Date Safe Project Inc on June 22, 2010

Articles & Resources

The Date Safe Project Inc — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 17:14:23 +0000