What Tools Do YOU have ready?

15 miles from Poughkeepsie, NY this past week and on my way to speak at Vassar College, the tire on my rental car blows out!  I was in a remote area on a Restricted Roadway (tow trucks cannot service the area without a State Police request first).  I like to give myself an extra hour leeway for driving time to be safe and I did in this case. However, the Emergency Service said they may need that entire time to get to me.  What do I do?  First, I called the school to give them the entire situation – to insure no one was surprised or taken off guard.

Next, I went into the trunk and started working on changing the tire myself.  Everything was going well. I had the car jacked up and then suddenly realized the hubcap was not coming off.  A few minutes later, a state highway vehicle pulls up and helps me get the tire changed. What could have easily have been 75-90 minutes turned into only 20 minutes and everything went smoothly.  Why?  The state emergency employee had a special tool for getting the hubcap off. I arrived at Vassar with PLENTY of time to spare (no pun intended) before conducting my sound check.

When working on talking with teens and students on sexual decision-making, do you leave leeway for what could go wrong in your conversation?  What could blow up your conversation?  Someone’s temper, attitude, assumptions, judgement?  How do you prepare for those possibilities?  Do you practice the exact scenario?  I’ve changed tires before. However, I had never run into a HubCap problem before (the Emergency Service had).  Even though I had a little experience, I needed more tools to solve my problem.  What tools could help you in creating a positive impact with teens and young adults decisions regarding sexual decision-making, supporting survivors, and bystander intervention?

Share below by LEAVING A COMMENT about what you do and/or have done to best prepare for all the “What If” scenarios when talking to teens and young adults.

Students and Customer Service

Do you work with students?  When they first approach, do you think, “How can I help this student today?  How can I make his or her day AWESOME?”  Imagine if every student felt educators and professionals had that goal in mind for them.

In the past 24 hours, I was doused with great customer service.  Last night driving to speak at Vassar College, my back tire blew in a remote, restricted road.  I was only 15 miles from the campus, yet tow trucks weren’t allowed in that area without the State Police coming by first. I was being told it could take over an hour.  Uh oh.  Thank goodness, I left early for “just in case” moments like this.  Suddenly, a state highway truck pulled up. He said when the call went to the state police, he noticed.  In 10 minutes, he had me on my way with a fantastic attitude!!

Today on my flight from DC to Kansas City (yes first I flew from NY to DC), our flight attendant was one of the best I’ve ever experienced. His name was Joe, a retired police officer who took JOY in having fun with everyone (co-workers, customers, etc…).  He told us all how much people take their jobs too seriously.  He wanted everyone on the flight to have fun.  I almost didn’t want to sleep just to see what more he would do.

Then arriving at my hotel in Kansas City, Sarah lit up the room as she welcomed you to the property.  She wanted you to know to help yourself to anything you needed and you could have unlimited numbers of water bottles.

Now imagine we treated those we care about with the AMAZING attitude and approach I was blessed to experience today.  How more open would everyone be to learning from us?

Boy Scouts Share Important Message

Are you ever asked, “How do you know you are making a difference? How do you know your audience (or students) actually remembers your message?”  Speakers in the education world and teachers particularly get this question a lot because so many people wonder if teens retain the messages being shared with them.  Yesterday, audience members surprised me.

For the past week, my son was in the Northern Woods camping with his Boy Scout Troop (6 hours from our home).  When he arrived home with his Troop, he began sharing all his great stories from the week (catching a 25″ Northern and getting the “Lumberjack” Award). In mid-sentence, he suddenly said, “Dad, try to guess what happened?“

“What?” I asked.

Son: “I got some free food and extra stuff from the store for free because they knew you.“

Me:  ”WHO knew me?“

Son:  ”The boys working in the store.“

Me:  ”Who were they?“

Son:  ”I don’t know.  They saw my name ‘Domitrz’ and asked if I was related to you. When I said, ‘Yes,’ they talked about your program and how awesome it was. Then they gave me some stuff and EXTRA FOOD!!“

Me:  ”Were the boys from around here and working all the way up there for the summer?“

Son: “No, but they knew you.“

Me:  ”How old were they?“

Son:  ”High school age guys.“

While I’ve been blessed to hear stories of people seeing students wearing my “Can I Kiss You?” and “Want Some Action?” shirts in fun locations (Disney World, etc…), this quick conversation was soo much cooler. To know high school students in the middle of the Northern woods at a Boy Scout camp (6 hours away) KNEW MY NAME was the surprise. Had my son been wearing one of my shirts and these boys thought of the connection to me, I would have still have been pleasantly honored to know my audience had such a positive memory.  To know they knew my LAST NAME was the shocker.  They simply saw “Domitrz” and started talking to my son.

Neither I nor my son are the focus of this story.  This small group of audience members get and deserve all the credit. Each of these young men made a CHOICE to open their minds and commit to change (not letting an important message be forgotten – even months after originally hear the concept).  Regardless of what friends said, the entertainment world displayed before them, and their peers who tried to influence them otherwise, these students stuck to  message they believed in!  Kudos to each of them.

I only wish I had way to say, “Thanks” to each of them personally.  Thanks for sharing with my son. Thanks for believing in a positive message.

Why do I share this quick story?  With the amazing talent you possess, I know you have peers and/or audience members you never knew you impacted – those same individuals who are excited to tell others they heard you and want to spread the message.  Here is to the blessings of being a speaker, educator, activist, and/or  caring individual making an impact.  Thank you for all you do to make this world a better place.

This high school student Asks First & Supports Sexual Assault Survivors

This Senior student at Bitburg Air Force Base High School makes a strong statement about asking first and supporting sexual assault survivors.  The last 2 weeks was filled with speaking to wonderful groups of high school students throughout Air Force Bases in Europe.

LEAVE A COMMENT to let him know what you think (he is excited to see your comments)!

Share your thoughts by LEAVING A COMMENT!

The General Assembly Parents LOVE to bring to their schools!

When it comes to middle schools and high schools teaching teenagers vital skills for decision-making regarding teen dating, intimacy, a comprehensive safety approach to sex and/or abstinence, MANY school systems do very little because they are afraid of how parents will react.  Thus, students learn from each other and we all know teens teaching teens about sex is extremely dangerous.

In fact, today you are hearing more new stories from school systems and communities across the country involving teenage sexually transmitted diseases and infections.  Plus, research is showing sexual activity is occurring at much younger ages.

As a parent, how can YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE?  Work with your local school administrators to bring an interactive and educational program with long-lasting impact for your students.  Bring in a program which does more than “Raise Awareness” – find a presentation which gives students precise skills they can immediately use in their lives. When leaders and educators see parents taking an active role in wanting a specific program for their students, many educators and administrators feel more comfortable moving forward and taking the needed action to bring the program to the school.

One of the most sought after experts in the country for providing these necessary skills to teenagers is Mike Domitrz, the Executive Director of The Date Safe Project Inc. and the author of HELP! My Teen Is Dating.  His one-person show for students titled “Can I Kiss You?” is praised by parents, educators, administrators, and TEENAGERS!  Unlike many experts who lecture students toward one specific agenda, Domitrz opens students’ minds to making better choices for themselves, their friends, and any potential future dating partners.  Because of this unique approach, the “Can I Kiss You?” program is supported by parents on both sides of the heated debate between “Abstinence-Only Education” vs “Comprehensive Sex Ed” taking place in many communities.

Bring this one-of-a-kind General Assembly to your school, students, and community.
Click here for more information.

Tell us what YOU WANT on this site!

“The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.” ~Ben Stein

With a new semester getting started or about to start in schools and universities, what have you DECIDED you really want for this year?  What are you going to do to make that happen?

I will start off by sharing what we WANT to start providing you as a visitor to this site in 2010 and then ASK you what more YOU want from our site in 2010.  Let’s make it happen!  Here is our list of what we are beginning to create for you:

1. Each week, find inspiration and ideas from others around the world pertaining to real solutions to difficult conversations which often occur with teenagers, college students, and members of the military.  Soon, you will find our “Question of the Week” answered by multiple people each week (could be YOU quoted in one or many of the Questions).

2. To be able to join our special Team Members section of this website where “How To” videos, articles, podcasts, and monthly tele-seminars with interviews of top experts, educators, activists, and positive role models will be available to you.  You’ll be able actively participate in the tele-seminars (free for our Members and a reasonable fee for others).  Starting in FEBRUARY!

3. To discover fantastic examples of role models featured here on the site (survivors, parents, activists, educators, professionals, celebrities making an impact, etc…).

4. To GIVEAWAY more helpful resources and materials through our website!

What do YOU WANT from this site?  WHAT would you like to learn more about?  WHO would you like to learn from?  Any technology you would like to see used more often?  Do you want to help on our mission?  Let us know.  Answer all these questions by “Leaving a Comment” now.

Students & Their Teachers are CHEERING

More for You. Please click on the following links for more info on the “Can I Kiss You?:”

About	Watch the Video	“Train the Trainer”
Student Feedback	Reserve a Date	Downloads

Do you want a speaker, author, and expert who is going to have your students rolling in the aisles from laughter and then just minutes later have everyone completely mesmerized in silence as he shares the personal story of his sister’s rape?

As a leading authority on consent, healthy dating, and sexual assault awareness, Mike Domitrz understands that students want to be entertained and that schools want an expert who will make a positive and long lasting difference in the lives of their students. Everyone in a school assembly program wants a compelling and powerful presentation that each person can relate to in a meaningful manner. For this reason, Mike takes you and your students on a journey from hilarious laughter to hard-hitting questions. Then, he provides the answers every student will immediately want to use in his or her own life.

From 6th grade through Seniors in High School, males and females from all cultures, backgrounds, sexual orientations, and diverse populations appreciate Mike’s sincerity and honesty. While he presents one of the “cleanest” programs in schools today, he holds nothing back.

Through his role-playing with audience members and his portrayal of intriguing characters on stage, Mike turns what is often labeled as a “silent” issue into an engaging and thought-provoking event for you and your students. While most people simply “make their move” on a date, you’ll discover how and why “asking first” makes all the difference! Students are given the precise words and skills to insure both partner’s boundaries are respected at all times. Plus, you and your students discover how to appropriately intervene in potentially dangerous situations, including with their friends (alcohol, parties, etc…). In addition, everyone learns how to “Open the Door” to properly support all survivors of sexual assault. Through it all, each person gains a greater level of admiration and respect for survivors of sexual assault.

Throughout your event, Mike will reveal a new and fun approach towards respect that will change each student’s outlook on dating and intimacy. When your students leave the “Can I Kiss You?” program with Mike Domitrz, they will be telling their friends, “Wow! I never thought of that stuff before! I need to completely overhaul my approach to dating and respecting others.“

Call 800-329-9390 TODAY to get an available date!

Limited Dates are Available.  With his sons in school, Mike limits his travel dates.

**To learn more about Mike Domitrz, click here or scroll over the Mike Domitrz section in the top bar of this website.

Bring the “Can I Kiss You?” Program to your community. Call now to receive a special 20 page informational magazine and to find the best remaining dates available. Toll Free 800-329-9390 or click here to email us.

More for You. Please click on the following links for more info on the “Can I Kiss You?:”

About	Watch the Video	“Train the Trainer”
Student Feedback	Reserve a Date	Downloads

Wichita Teen Speaks Out Against Dating Violence

With this week being dedicated nationally to addressing Teen Dating Violence, we are working hard to provide you insightful tips, stories, and inspirations throughout this week.  Today’s focus?  How do teens recover from violence?  What outlets can we give them to express themselves?

Brian Latta, a Digital Productions teacher at Northwest High School in Wichita, Kansas assigned his class a project. He challenged his students to create a public service announcement about teen dating abuse. The public service announcement they were creating could only be one minute in length.

Not a lot of time to send an entire message. Not until one of his students took the challenge head on!

Ashley Hoyle experienced teen dating violence first hand. She is a survivor.

She wanted to express to teens, adults, law enforcement, and educators just how serious the problem is and how hard it is to recognize the signs. Ashley was able to tell others through her video what she wasn’t able to verbalize about her experience. Her message was so strong that she was selected to be the National Spokeswoman for National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week which started yesterday (on Sunday).

Not only was she given the opportunity to warn and help others but she also has found a way to experience healing for herself.  As I travel the country, I continually meet incredible survivors who share how writing, performance, or some form of expressing themselvs is what really sped up the healing and recovery process for them as survivors.  Many of the surivors in the book "Voices of Courage" have talked about how powerful writing their chapter for the book was for their own personal journeys.  Then to hear from other survivors who have praised the book — has simply made the journey that much more meaningful for them.

Being part of an abusive relationship eats away at self esteem. The abuser uses control and manipulation to slowly or quickly eliminate a victim’s self esteem.  Providing the ability for a survivor to do something constructive with his/her experience re-builds the self-esteem.

When working with abused teens, explore what re-builds their self-esteem.  What projects and contests can you sponsor or create in your schools and communities?  Who will you team up with?  Local TV, local cable access networks, print media, retailers, etc…

Self-esteem can also grow through finding ways to experience success in other venues:  a sport, hobby or interest. Help survivors recognize how special they are to the world.  Remind them of their many talents that make them remarkable.  More than anything, help them realize how incredible they are for THEMSELVES.

This posting was inspired by the following article:
"Wichita teen a national speaker on abuse" by JILLIAN COHAN with Wichita Eagle.  Click here to read full article.

Students, Teachers, Parents, and Administrators Tackle Sexual Harrassment

Monday, February 4, 2008 marks the third annual “National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week’.  Beginning Monday, students across the country will begin campaigns bringing to light this reality among our children.  Sadly, this reality has been an unnoticed problem for a long time.

According to the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) a reported 9% of American teens reported they have been physically hurt by their boyfriend or girlfriend.  Even more frightening is the way technology is being used to stalk, intimidate and abuse our children.  Many teens are embarrassed to admit this is going on and it goes unreported. 

As parents, educators, and law enforcement, it is our responsibility to teach our children that violence and dating is not ok, to identify what is acceptable behavior, and what to do if they do not like how they are being treated.  We need to give them the tools to stay safe and date safe! 

Here are some great links for more information: www.TheSafeSpace.org and www.BreakTheCycle.org

SHARE In the "Comments" section what students are doing in your area.  If you have ideas for schools, parents, or law enforcement, share with us.

Dating Violence Among Teenagers Ignites Activism

Monday, February 4, 2008 marks the third annual “National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week’.  Beginning Monday, students across the country will begin campaigns bringing to light this reality among our children.  Sadly, this reality has been an unnoticed problem for a long time.

According to the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention) a reported 9% of American teens reported they have been physically hurt by their boyfriend or girlfriend.  Even more frightening is the way technology is being used to stalk, intimidate and abuse our children.  Many teens are embarrassed to admit this is going on and it goes unreported. 

As parents, educators, and law enforcement, it is our responsibility to teach our children that violence and dating is not ok, to identify what is acceptable behavior, and what to do if they do not like how they are being treated.  We need to give them the tools to stay safe and date safe! 

Here are some great links for more information: www.TheSafeSpace.org and www.BreakTheCycle.org

SHARE In the "Comments" section what students are doing in your area.  If you have ideas for schools, parents, or law enforcement, share with us.

Next Page »