K12 Certification Training

Get Licensed with THE Educational Program

for Community Educators & Activists

Imagine achieving all 4 of the following goals in your local middle schools and high schools – in less than 60 minutes:

    • REDUCE dating violence & sexual assault.
    • INCREASE Bystander Intervention
      …….
      STOP peers from using alcohol to facilitate a sexual assault
      .
    • Get MORE Students to Properly Support Survivors of Sexual Violence.
    • LOWER Frequency of Sexually Risky Behavior in Teens.

Impossible? Students in middle schools and high schools continually say they DO take the above actions after experiencing a certain one-hour educational presentation. Now, you have the opportunity to become certified to present this powerful program in your local schools.

GET RESULTS
I can’t recall an assembly that was more well received on such a relevant topic to the lives of young people in my 29 years in public education. …The results of evaluations that our students completed following this assembly were overwhelming in evoking pledges of positive behavioral change. I think this was a “wake up call.” ~Michael J. Droll, Tipton High School (IA)

Become THE SOURCE for your local schools!!

Presenting on sexual issues to middle school and high school students requires a highly trained professional because students are going to challenge you. You will have students in the audience who enjoy being a Heckler. The Heckler has one goal – to “mess you up.” If you lose your cool or lose control of the room, the presentation will fail. You must know the keys to effectively interacting with middle school through high school age students.

For schools to give you valuable class time, they will insist that you use an established program which is truly life-changing, content rich, engaging, and SAFE for their students. Throughout North America over the past two decades, the one solution continually praised by educators and administrators is the “Can I Kiss You?” Show because each aspect of the program brings PROVEN RESULTS!

For the first time ever, you have the opportunity to become certified to present the “Can I Kiss You?” program in your local middle schools and high schools. Participate in this fully comprehensive three-day “K12 Certification Training” from February 21st to 23rd in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, with internationally renowned educator and author, Mike Domitrz. During these 3 days with Mike, you will get the most powerful techniques for engaging students in middle schools and high schools. PLUS, you will become certified to present the “Can I Kiss You?” Show in your local schools!

In 3 jam-packed days, you will receive all the following:


  1. WORKBOOK AND MANUAL. Follow along with Mike throughout the 3 days in this in-depth Workbook and Manual filled with great strategies and insights for presenting the “Can I Kiss You?” Show.
  2. Top Secret ScriptDETAILED SCRIPT of the “Can I Kiss You?” program. You will be one of the first people to ever receive the official script for the critically acclaimed presentation. You will have every word needed to bring this dynamic and powerful program to your community.

    THE POWER YOU’LL BE GIVING STUDENTS:
    “I wanted to let you know how much that presentation has changed my life. I brought my boyfriend with me to your presentation and it has brought a change in him I can barely recognize. I knew that he loved me, but now he shows it by respecting me. I just wanted to say thank you and what you are doing is amazing.” – Student in WI

  3. CLASSROOM vs. ASSEMBLY SPEAKING. Discover the techniques professional speakers utilize to create a powerful impact with ALL audiences. Sharing with an individual classroom is very different than speaking to 500 or 1,000 students in a general assembly. Thus, you must know the formula for being a successful speaker with audiences of ALL SIZES.

    Students having FUN and LEARNING

    Over 700 students learning AND having fun.

    The speaking and improv skills you will obtain during this workshop will stick with you for life – including when Mike Domitrz reveals how to use the “Call-Back” Strategy to get students to take an in-depth look at their own decision-making. To see and hear an entire school unite for positive change is an incredible accomplishment you will love being a part of!
  4. APPROPRIATE AND HILARIOUS HUMOR . When discussing what is often an uncomfortable subject for many students, integrating effective humor into your speech is a necessity. Like adults, students learn FASTER while laughing. Once students are having fun, their mental and emotional barriers are broken down. Now, their minds are open to new ways of thinking.

    Telling a joke or “being funny” is very different than utilizing humor with an educational goal as the focus. Even people who think they are naturally funny will often FAIL with student audiences. The good news for you is the script is already written with lots of humor included. At the LIVE training, Mike will reveal how to bring the humor in the script to LIFE. Get ready to HAVE FUN!

    Wait. Are you someone who doesn’t think you are funny? By learning the techniques Mike is going to share with you, YOU WILL GET LAUGHS. In fact, Mike has frequently found the people who “think” they are not funny are often the best presenters for getting students to laugh.

  5. I like the way you use humor to soften the mood of what could be an uncomfortable subject.Student

  6. ABSTINENCE vs. COMPREHENSIVE SEX ED: Do your local schools teach “Abstinence Only” or “Comprehensive Sex Ed,” or do you have both approaches being taught in your region? Good News! The “Can I Kiss You?” program works with all school approaches to sexual education. Too many organizations use programming schools consider to be controversial. If you can’t get into the school, making an impact is nearly impossible.

    “Can I Kiss You?” has been successful in Catholic middle schools; high schools where condoms are handed out to students; rural communities, inner cities, and some of the country’s most elite boarding schools on the East Coast. You will be getting certified for a program schools consider to be SAFE. Best of all, you will be helping create positive change in the lives of students.

    Your language and examples were right on target for our age group. They were riveted in their seats”
    - Yvonne McGilvary, Teacher at St. Charles School Burlington (WI)”

    During the K12 Certification Training, Mike will provide you with specific language to use based on your local school’s approach to sexual education. If you’ve run into conflict with local schools in the past, bring the comments administrators have stated to you and Mike will provide you with potential solutions.

  7. HANDLING THE HECKLER: Veteran speakers turn to Mike Domitrz for this one-of-a-kind approach he has successfully used throughout the years. Mike will quickly show you how to turn hecklers into fans with his proven, non-threatening approach for overcoming those “challenging” moments. You will have a blast experimenting with this technique throughout the 3-day training.

    You presented such important issues in such a non-threatening manner. We will definitely be asking you to return to our campus. Thank you again for this presentation. You are really on track by connecting with the audience. I will be in touch with you again, that’s for sure!”
    -  Suzanne Sarner, Counselor, Sussex County Technical High School (NJ)

  8. INVALUABLE EXPERIENCE – LIVE. You will have the option to present pieces from the script to a small group of peers during the 3-Day Training. Several attendees will get the chance to present to the entire group and receive personal feedback from Mike Domitrz.
  9. The GUIDE SCHOOLS LOVE: Do you love when someone provides you a resource that makes your life EASIER? The Event Details Guide is that exact resource for the schools you are going to work with (whether it’s one person or a committee). The Event Details Guide is a 32-page in-depth packet with all the tiny bits of detail middle schools and high schools demand, including but not limited to:
    1. Layouts for how to setup the room for the presentation;
    2. Receiving prewritten letters to send to parents;
    3. Sample Press Releases for local media;
    4. How to build community support for this life changing program; and
    5. MUCH MUCH MORE…

    Every time the packet is updated throughout the year, you will receive the newest version from The Date Safe Project.

  10. NIGHT OF GIVING & RECEIVING. On this special evening during the 3-Day Training, you will learn everyone’s best ideas and “Aha” Moments (“Best Practices” that attendees are currently using as well as ideas generated by the group during the training). By sharing, we all grow and expand our possibilities.
  11. Using TECHNOLOGY with Students: See why you WANT the students to have their phones on while you speak. Mike Domitrz will show you an easy way to engage students with their cell phones – while you are actually speaking with them. Plus, he will give you a cool way to keep the conversation going with the students long AFTER you leave the school – all through basic cell phone technology. Gain simple ways to ENGAGE your audience through technology.
  12. CERTIFICATION for ONE YEAR to present the “Can I Kiss You?” program in middle schools and high schools throughout your local region starting on February 27, 2012 (can be renewed before February 26, 2013).
  13. RESULTS = ACTION! The purpose of an educational program is not just to raise awareness. The ultimate goal is to GET STUDENTS TO TAKE ACTION. After experiencing you present the “Can I Kiss You?” Show, students in your community will no longer be passive bystanders. In fact, all genders will look forward to peacefully intervening in dangerous situations.

    Students will want to stop the predator at the parties; students will want to ASK FIRST when in an intimate moment (and will want their partners to ASK FIRST); and they will open their hearts and minds to the survivors in their lives – both now and in the future. Imagine helping students take all these actions. You have the opportunity. Become a Certified “Can I Kiss You?” Trainer and Presenter.

    After capturing their curiosity and respect, Mike leads his audience in a profoundly practical exploration of the importance of asking.” 
    ~ Dr. Debra Mashek,
    Editor of Handbook of Closeness and Intimacy.

  14. ONLINE VIDEO TRAINING You will receive FULL ACCESS to Online Video Training for ONE YEAR (video recording of the live training you will participate in from Feb. 21st to 23rd in Milwaukee, WI). Throughout the year, go back and watch any section of the training. Each week, take a few minutes to fine-tune your presentation skills. Included is an online forum for continually sharing with all the wonderful people you will get to know during the training.

  15. EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO YOUR LOCAL AREA. Upon registering for the 3-day training, you will be guaranteed the exclusive rights for presenting the “Can I Kiss You?” Show in your local middle schools and high schools. The sooner you register, the quicker you will be promised your region. Providing you exclusive rights ensures you will not be “competing” with another nearby agency also trying to offer the “Can I Kiss You?” program to your local middle schools and high schools.

  16. BONUS

    GET TWO COMPLETE RESOURCE PACKAGES :

    • 25 Paperback editions of the May I Kiss You? Books for classroom use [$300 Value]
    • Interactive and easy-to-use Instructor’s Guide for May I Kiss You? Book [$175 Value]
    • HELP! My Teen Is Dating. Realistic Solutions to Tough Conversations” DVD & Book Set [$49.97 Value]
    • The COMPLETE SET of the “Do You Ask?” Educational Poster Series on Healthy Dating & Consent [$80 Value]
    • Two of every T-shirt The Date Safe Project Inc sells to students (Both versions of the “Can I Kiss You?” Shirts and the “Want Some Action? RESPECT the Answer” T-shirts) [$150 Value]
    • 1,000 “Can I Kiss You?” Tattoos and Buttons [$420 Value]

    Each Package is Worth $1,174.97 x 2 = $2,349.94 VALUE

    You will have the ultimate combination of resources to make your first presentation a HUGE SUCCESS and to provide your local schools with plenty of follow-through materials.

3 Powerhouse Days with Mike Domitrz:
February 21st – 23rd, you will be getting a rare opportunity to work with one of the leading minds for discussing verbal consent, encouraging bystander intervention, and supporting survivors of sexual assault. You will get to explore and fully comprehend the skills, strategies, and techniques Mike utilizes with middle school and high school students.

You will be challenged, entertained, and inspired by a critically acclaimed author, producer of educational materials, and award-winning speaker. Mike Domitrz is continually sought out by organizations and institutions around the world (from local crisis centers to the U.S. Military). Members of the National Speakers Association seek him out for his incredible track record of engaging audiences AND getting people to take positive actions in their lives.

Be a part of this one-of-a-kind event. Mike has NEVER opened his mind to one group at a live event like he will be for those attending the K12 Certification Training. To guarantee an intimate environment for sharing and learning, REGISTRATION IS LIMITED.

If you have ever had the opportunity to see Mike Domitrz speak, you know his passion for making a positive difference is contagious. By working closely with Mike, you are going to find new ways to draw from your own passion and personal mission to positively impact every audience!

Known for holding nothing back, Mike Domitrz is one of the most openly giving professionals. You will hear the nitty-gritty of presenting a highly interactive presentation: the good, the bad, and the awesome! With Mike sharing as many scenarios as possible during the 3-day training, you will gain a newfound confidence to handle any situation you will face while presenting the “Can I Kiss You?” Show. In fact, you will look forward to the first time a “challenge” comes your way!

DID YOU KNOW? The most highly respected professional trade organization in the world for experts and speakers, the National Speakers Association, recently shared 5 minutes of the “Can I Kiss You?” Show with their members in a brand new segment titled “Awesome Excerpts.” The segment shares live audio from the top speakers in the world.

This past November, Mike received a standing ovation from the Canadian Association for Professional Speakers Convention after he shared unique ways to interact with audiences in his luncheon keynote. Mike Domitrz is the ONLY expert and ally addressing healthy dating, respect, boundaries, bystander intervention and supporting survivors who has earned the Certified Speaking Professional Designation from the National Speakers Association. To do so, your clients over 5 YEARS must rate you at least a 7.5 out of 10 in EVERY category (Mike averages a 90% approval rating with audiences). Plus, you must present at least 50 presentations a year for 5 consecutive years. With Mike Domitrz, you KNOW are working with a seasoned and highly respected professional!

BONUS TIME TOGETHER
Each morning during the K12 Certification Training, get your day started with a dose of positive energy by joining Mike on a group walk (optional). Use this time walking with Mike to ask questions.

The VALUE FOR YOU
When educational institutions and crisis centers around the country contract The Date Safe Project to have Mike Domitrz present the “Can I Kiss You?” program and his popular “Train the Trainer” Workshop in their communities, the standard fee is $6,000 a day. With the K12 Certification Training, you will be getting 3-DAYS with Mike for a tiny fraction of the typical investment.

Plus at the end of the 3-days, you will be certified to give the “Can I Kiss You?” Show (with the exact same content Mike presents) for an entire year in your community. Become THE #1 SOURCE for the middle schools and high schools in your surrounding area to turn to for creating a positive change in the behavior of their students.

Why is the certification specifically for middle schools and high schools only? While the majority of school systems WANT the “Can I Kiss You?” program brought to their community, they do not have the budget to fly Mike Domitrz into their local schools. Thus, schools will be THRILLED for you to provide the program for free or at a greatly discounted fee. Once again, you become the expert everyone is requesting!

THE CERTIFICATION
The K12 “Can I Kiss You?” Certification is provided to ENSURE that the quality and effectiveness of presentations is consistent throughout the United States and North America each year. When you are known for offering an educational program with a fantastic reputation, getting into your schools is much easier. Schools will open their doors more freely.

The Renewal
The yearly renewal is necessary to maintain a reputation of excellence among all providers of the “Can I Kiss You?” program in middle schools and high schools throughout the world.

SAVE MONEY & RAISE MONEY
Mike understands all the budget pressures agencies, nonprofits, and schools are currently experiencing and so he has created a unique system for nonprofits and schools to both save money and raise money.

SAVE UP TO $6,000 a day. Once you are certified on February 23rd, you can present the program yourself and save all the costs of bringing Mike Domitrz to your middle schools and high schools for the next 12 months!

Be a RESELLER. Provide all the educational resources from The Date Safe Project at greatly reduced prices. Then use the profits as a fundraising source for your nonprofit or school system.

Resources include popular T-shirts, books, DVDs, and much more. You can even sell the #1 selling educational posters for addressing consent, bystander intervention in dating violence, and respect of dating boundaries – the “Do You Ask?” Poster Series.

Earning ADDITIONAL INCOME: If you choose to charge for the presentations in your local schools (as low as $500 a day to no more than $2,500 a day), you get to keep the fee you charge – a great avenue for raising revenue for you, your nonprofit, and/or school.


No LIMITS
Once certified, present the “Can I Kiss You?” Program as many times as you want in middle schools and high schools in your specified region throughout the year (starting February 27, 2012). **The certification is good specifically for presentations to Middle School and High School students (not valid for any other audiences including but not limited to conferences, colleges, universities, corporations, military installations).

Renewing your certification is required to continue presenting the educational program after February 26, 2013. The annual renewal only requires an investment of $1500. You do not have to attend a live training to have your certification renewed.

BONUSES for the FIRST 10 to REGISTER:

  1. $1,500 DISCOUNT off the registration fee.
    [EARLY BIRD SPECIAL]
  2. Get a 20-minute personal consultation with Mike Domitrz during the 3-day training. Bring your questions because this is your one-on-one time with Mike.
    [$500 Value ONLY available to first 10 registered attendees]
  3. Participate in a TWO-HOUR IN-PERSON Consultation with Mike Domitrz the next time he is speaking in your region (meet him at the location of the event).
    [$2,000 Value ONLY for first 10 registered attendees]
  4. SPECIAL DINNER with Mike Domitrz at his home for a selected group of participants to be able to brainstorm and network with Mike.
    [$750 Value ONLY for first 10 registered attendees]
  5. Receive FOUR 30-minute phone sessions with Mike Domitrz over the next 6 months following the K12 Certification Training.
    [$2,000 Value ONLY available for up to 20 registered attendees]
  6. GET A BONUS 4th DAY with Mike Domitrz to attend a LIVE PRESENTATION on February 24th in a local middle school or high school near the location of the training. After the program, everyone will get to ask Mike questions about the presentation and the audience interaction they witnessed. Plus, you get a special 3-hour session with Mike to wrap up the training.
    [$3,000 Value ONLY available for up to 30 registered attendees]

    BONUSES COMBINED = $9,750 VALUE

YOUR INVESTMENT
Be one of the first 10 people to register and you will receive over $28,000 in extra training, coaching, and resources.

$9,750 in Bonuses Guaranteed to First 10 Registered (as listed above)

$2,349 in 2 Resource Packages (listed above)

$16,000 for 3-days of Training with Mike Domitrz

$28,099 worth of Training and Coaching for $4,000 only $2,500 with the Early Bird Discount.

SCHOLARSHIPS & PAYMENT PLAN NOW AVAILABLE!!

Get the EARLY BIRD DISCOUNT when you register and your investment will only be twenty-five hundred dollars ($4,000 Registration Fee with $1,500 Early Bird Discount = $2,500 investment). Receive over $28,000 worth of training for only twenty-five hundred dollars!

TO GET A SCHOLARSHIP, read to the bottom of the page.

SUPER MEGA BONUS:
and Bring a SECOND PERSON FOR FREE!!
If you are one of the FIRST 10 People to Register, your guest gets to participate in the special bonuses with you! Bringing a colleague or friend with you results in the 2 of you getting over $56,000 in value for a total of only twenty-five hundred dollars!!

APRIL is Sexual Assault Awareness Month! By getting this exclusive training NOW, you will be able to offer all the schools in your region the “Can I Kiss You?” program in APRIL for Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Fantastic timing for your community!

GAIN LIFETIME SKILLS for connecting with and opening the minds of middle school and high school students (both in classroom settings and for school assemblies). You will be getting students to make POSITIVE CHANGES in their behavior toward themselves, their friends, and their partners! Working with schools will be more fun than ever before.

Be THE SOURCE for creating change in your local schools!

DUE TO THE RESPONSE,
REGISTRATION HAS BEEN CLOSED

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Protect Children from Sex Trafficking & Abuse

Today, we hosted a LIVE ONLINE INTERVIEW with Lori Regnier and Pastor Mike from the Starbright Foundation Inc of Arizona. They did a fantastic job sharing how to protect children from Sex Trafficking and Abusive Relationships.

BUMMER: Unfortunately, the recording had an error and so we do not have the recording available.  We greatly apologize.

Who: Starbright Foundation Inc Founders, Lori & Pastor Mike (http://www.starbrightfoundation.org).

Details: The Starbright Foundation shares how to protect children and young adults from Sex Trafficking and Abusive Relationships. Topics included in the teleseminar were: Internet safety in social media for children and adults (dating, chat rooms, etc.); Signs of abuse from sexual abuse, clergy abuse, cultic abuse, etc. and steps to intervene in house or in community; Local fundraising or involvement as volunteers.  Your host was Mike Domitrz from the The Date Safe Project.

Cost was FREE.

Violence & Nudity. What does your child see and hear?

What does your child hear? What does your child see? What does your child absorb? When your child is at home, what images does he or she see on TV, the Internet, magazine covers, books, newspapers, iTouch, DS? What do you fear most? Your child seeing images of nudity or violence? What about at friends’ houses? How about the library?

Yesterday on FaceBook, I asked parents about censorship verses monitoring + discussion. A parent who works at a library said, “You wouldn’t believe what kids (and adults) are looking at while visiting their local library. Parents who think they can shield their children from what is out there are foolish. Sooner or later, your child will see it.” If she is correct, the question then becomes, “How does your child react to images of violence, nudity, and/or the combination of both?

As parents today, we know our kids see video games involving violence.  Even if not playing them at home, we know they will observe such games at friends’ houses (or at least hear about them at school).  Kids definitely talk about their games at school (how far they advanced in the game, what characters they killed in the game, etc…).  What about TV & movies?  How much violence can be seen in a PG-13 movie?  The answer is: A lot.

What about nudity?  Significant nudity typically moves a movie into a “R” rating.  Have your children seen images of nudity or heard peers talking about nudity (and/or pornography)?

Which issue are you more comfortable talking about with your children? Violence or nudity?  HOW do you discuss both issues?  Are you careful to separate positive imagery of nudity compared to the unhealthy view of pornography? Have you ever talked to your children about seeing violence and nudity together? Have you noticed how many movies show what they call “passionate sex scenes” which involve violence and nudity? Have you explained the danger of such imagery?

Share in the COMMENTS section below your approach to discussing violence and/or nudity. By sharing, you can help other parents gain greater skills to help their children.

St. Lawrence raises MONEY at “Can I Kiss You?” Show.

Last night, St. Lawrence University in Canton, NY had 2 great turnouts.  Due to the size of their incoming class, they have me present the “Can I Kiss You?” program at 2 different times of 7pm and 9pm.  The attendance at each session was wonderful and the interaction and reactions afterward were fantastic.

Chris Morrin runs one of the best student Advocate programs in the WORLD at St. Lawrence. Their numbers of students who are trained as Advocates (referred to as “Sex Positive Violence Prevention”) is amazing, especially for a smaller size campus.

RAISING MONEY!

In addition to the students downloading “Voices of Courage” from our website (as a Gift to give those they care about), they raised a record amount of money from our show.  We give 10% of all T-shirt and book SALES at our events to a non-profit organization the individual campus chooses.  At the current rate of results, this semester is going to be a record high in donations raised by students purchasing books and shirts.  The new shirts are being sought after so much by students that we are frequently running out sizes at the events.

THANKS, ST. LAWRENCE!!

Support Women – Take Action on VAWA funding

–While this posting originated as an e-mail from the Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault, it applies to EVERYONE!!  Read the entire posting please.  You’ll see what you can do right now (Today):

Today, the U.S. House of Representatives will begin consideration, with votes throughout the week, of funding for VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) programs under the jurisdiction of the FY2010 Commerce, Justice, and Science (CJS) spending budget.  We are incredibly proud that one of Wisconsin’s own, Rep. Gwen Moore, will be leading the effort to increase federal funding for Civil Legal Assistance for Victims.

WCADV has been working with Rep. Moore to include the voices of Wisconsin survivors in the discussion, as Rep. Moore makes the case for providing more victims with civil legal assistance.  Thanks to the brave survivors who have offered to share their stories with Rep. Moore and be spokeswomen for VAWA funding!

Now we all can join survivors around the country in fighting for increased funding.   Please call your House Member and ask him or her  to support the following amendments:

Moore/Poe Amendment: This amendment would increase funding for Civil Legal Assistance for victims of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault and stalking by $4 million (from $37 million to $41 million).

Reichert Amendment:  This amendment would provide funding for the 1st time the STEP program at $5 million.  The STEP program provides prevention and early intervention services for middle school and high school students regarding domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault and stalking.

Gresham Amendment:  This amendment would ban earmarks from raiding the Grants to Combat Violence Against Women account, thereby safeguarding funding for the essential STOP grants and Transitional Housing program.

Never called a Member of Congress before? Don’t worry, it’s easy!

Call 1-866-305-9428 toll free to be connected to the Capitol Switchboard.  Tell them the name of your Representative and they will connect you to their office.   Your call will be answered by a receptionist.  Tell him or her:

“Hello, my name is ____ and I am a constituent, from [include your state and town or zip].”
“I urge Representative [last name] to vote YES on the Moore/Poe Amendment, Reichert Amendment, and Barrett Amendment.
These Amendments will provide increased funding to help meet the dire need for victim services nationwide.
“Thank you.”
Outlook and Next Steps

We expect that the House to vote on amendments throughout the week and finalize their work on the CJS spending measure by Thursday, June 18th.  Once the House completes work on the CJS bill, the Senate will begin consideration of their version as early as next week.  Stay tuned for updates.

Girl Scouts, Cookies, Violence, and Empowerment

When people think of the Girl Scouts, most get the image of a pig tailed little girl hawking yummy confections that only come out once a year. That’s when most of America seems to take notice of the Girl Scouts.

The Girl Scouts is an organization whose main goal is empowering young females. Nothing proved that more than the event that took place in Westminster, Colorado. The Girl Scouts teamed up with the American Bar Association to work side by side with lawyers and other legal professionals to learn about the law as it applies to violence and to learn safety and prevention tips.

The Girl Scouts and The American Bar Association have created a partnership to introduce a national pilot plan called "Take Charge! Violence Prevention, Conflict Resolution and Law."  To read more, click here.

Now that’s empowerment!

Signs of Dating Violence or Abuse in Teen Relationships and/or Dating

Over the past few  years, many of you do a really good job as educators and law enforcement identifying the signs of domestic abuse in children.  You know what to do when you suspect it is happening; who to call; and actions to take. When it comes to teens abusing teens, the knowledge just isn’t there for many educators and law enforcement.  The training has not been as readily available.

For some, it seems easier to come to the defense of a child when an adult is abusing them. You see the child as more of a victim, especially knowing the “power” component of children being taught to respect their elders, parents, relatives.  Many adults use that power to control children.

When it comes to teen violence, it’s trickier. The perpetrators are their peers.  People write off inappropriate comments by thinking, “That just part of being a teenager” or “Kids will be kids.”  Some adults are intimidated by their own ignorance. You may not know the current language teenagers are using and so you feel out of touch.  Instead of embarrassing yourself when intervening, you simply avoid the potential conflict.  You do nothing.

Plus, we think as teenagers, they would speak out if someone their own age was making them feel uncomfortable or was hurting them.  Reality is the direct opposite.  Approval and being “part of the crowd” puts extreme pressure on teenagers NOT to speak out, even when they know something is not right.  You don’t want to be the kid who ratted on someone.

What are the signs?  Here are some starting points for teenagers (and even pre-teens) to look out for:

  1. Extreme jealousy
  2. Controlling behavior
  3. Quick involvement
  4. Unpredictable mood swings
  5. Alcohol and drug use
  6. Explosive anger
  7. Isolates you from friends and family
  8. Uses force during an argument
  9. Shows hypersensitivity
  10. Believes in rigid sex roles
  11. Blames others for his problems or feelings
  12. Cruel to animals and children
  13. Verbally abusive
  14. Abused former partners
  15. Threatens violence

The above 15 points are from Michelle Woods and her team at MayDay Inc.  Michelle also states that as an educator and law enforcement, you should be on the lookout for these signs:

  1. Physical signs of injury
  2. Truancy, dropping out of school
  3. Failing grades
  4. Indecision
  5. Changes in mood or personality
  6. Use of drugs or alcohol
  7. Emotional outbursts
  8. Isolation

Bottom line, we need to teach our teens to choose better relationships and partners. Re-enforce the qualities of a loving and fair partner. As educators, law enforcements and most of all parents, we are responsible for teaching teens the warning signs.

Here is a recent article where these tips were provided by Michelle Woods and MayDay Inc:
Baker City Herald MayDay Helps Teens Avoid Violence

Sexual Harrassment, students, parents, and schools

I came across an article that got my attention.   A school was having difficulty with outbreaks of hazing, violence, and sexual assault.  To combat it, they put together a taskforce of teachers & administration, parents and students. 

Making students a part of the process to make their environment safer gave them ownership and insight to the problem.  Making students a part of the process compelled them to participate.  They saw they could contribute and understood they added value to the system.  The students and the rest of the taskforce were vigilant in correcting the problem.  Now the school has policies and procedures in place to deal with outbreaks.  The students are accountable for their actions and are required to participate in restorative justice. 

You can read the article at:
http://www.reformer.com/ci_8136614?source=most_viewed

How do your kids use the word, "Slut"?  Many pre-teens and teenagers will tell you the word is "No big deal because people use it for all different meanings."  The reality is that the word "Slut" is very powerful.  The #1 reason students tell me that females do not speak openly about sex or "Ask First" before engaging in intimacy with a partner is because many females are "AFRAID" of being called a "Slut."  The word is soo powerful it stops females from speaking their mind openly and honestly.  We must work diligently to decrease the use of this word among youth and adults (after all, we are the role models).

Parents, use this YouTube video to discuss parties, friends hanging out, and the real dangers of sexual assault among teenagers and college students.

Claire Kaplan, the Director of Sexual & Domestic Violence Services at the University of Virginia, shared a very powerful YouTube video earlier today.  Ask yourself how you can utilize this video with your teenager or college student? 

After watching the YouTube video, many parents will make the mistake of immediately talking about what SHE could have done differently to protect herself.  When you show this sexual assault awareness video to your child, focus on what HE did wrong.  Talk openly and directly about what respect and choices should mean to both males and females.  Discuss how quickly he turned to his physical strengh to overpower her and engage in violence against her.  Then, discuss how this situation could have been handled the proper way by him "asking her first."  If she said, "No", he would completely respect her wishes.  If she said, "Yes", he would only engage in the behavior she agreed to (while at the same time, respecting her right to change her mind).

This video is particularly powerful because of how realistic and true the film is for students.

After watching the video, what questions would you ask your teenager or college student?  Share your thoughts by leaving a COMMENT on this posting.

Michael Vick and the Hypocrisy

Michael Vick, former quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons of the National Football League (NFL), should be condemned for the horrific actions he and others took against dogs.  His behavior and actions were atrocious.  The media jumped all over this case and the country rightfully so came to the defense of the dogs (many of which will end being killed).

The hypocrisy lies with the media and our general society.  While everyone is yelling for Michael Vick to be put in prison and immediately kicked out of the NFL (by the way, I agree with those requests), where are all the people yelling for EVERY player in the NFL charged with Domestic Violence to be suspended (if convicted, then kicked out of the league)?  Yes, animals need to be protected.  Of course.  What about women?  You have these incredible physical specimens of athletes committing acts of violence against women.  These charges are so common nowadays that they are just a quick news bit on ESPN and other sports segments.  When players are charged or convicted, where is all the media covering the case and every possible jail sentence for the player (as they’ve done with Michael Vick)? 

The NFL and almost every major professional league has seen numerous players charged with domestic violence.  Where is the media doing an in-depth story on how few professional athletes get actual convictions compared to the rest of society?  I am not insinuating that the majority of athletes behave in this manner.  It doesn’t matter.  These leagues like to portray an image of caring (look at their commericals showing their players doing good in the community).  If they TRULY CARE, have a zero tolerance for violence against ANY person or animal.  If any player is convicted, the player should be immediately kicked out of the league indefinitely. 

Do people deserve 2nd chances?  Yes.  We all make mistakes.  A second chance is what YOU choose to do with your life after making a mistake.  It does not mean getting your job back. Typically, a second chance means starting over and learning from your mistake.   

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