37: Logan Nelson’s Self-Therapy and Living Your Life with Respect

Logan Tyler Nelson is the founder of Logan Tyler Nelson Agency and he’s also the creator of Scratch Your Own Itch podcast. His intention for everyday is to be the best part of someone’s day

 

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LOGAN’S BIO:

Logan Tyler Nelson is the founder of Logan Tyler Nelson Agency and he’s also the creator of Scratch Your Own Itch Podcast: a self improvement podcast that delivers the stories we’re afraid to share. But need too.

You can find his work published on Thrive Global and Medium. Logan graduated with a BFA In Acting from NIU. He inspires and gives voice to authors, speakers and small business owners to create content through podcasting and social media. Logan equips people with the tools necessary to live with compassion and curiosity.  His intention for everyday is to be the best part of someone’s day

 

LINKS TO LOGAN:

Website: www.logantylernelson.com
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/thelogantylernelson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/logannelson-964ba140/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/LoganTnelson

My Radio Show: http://logantylernelson.libsyn.com/
The Scratch Your Own Itch Podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/scratch-your-own-itch-with-logan-tyler-nelson/id1303895386?mt=2

 

BOOKS:

Millionaire Success Habits – Dean Graziosi

 

READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPTION of the EPISODE HERE (or download the pdf):

**IMPORTANT: This podcast episode was transcribed by a 3rd party service and so errors can occur throughout the following pages:

Mike Domitrz: Welcome to the Respect podcast. I’m your host Mike Domitrz from mikespeaks.com, where we help organizations of all sizes, educational institutions and the US military create a culture of respect. And respect is exactly what we discuss on this show, so let’s get started.

Mike Domitrz: This week we have Logan Tyler Nelson, the founder of Logan Tyler Nelson Agency, and he’s also the creator of Scratch Your Own Itch podcast. His intention for every day is to be the best part of someone’s day. I love that so much Logan, that’s very cool. So thank you so much for joining us.

Logan Nelson: Thank you so much for having me on my friend. Oh, sorry.

Mike Domitrz: Yeah yeah, no definitely. Excited to have you on. Now Logan Tyler, people hear that and think well that’s unique. Do you go by both first names or do you go by Logan or Tyler?

Logan Nelson: You know it’s funny, when someone really knows me they go, “Hey Logan what’s up!” When I just meet someone, people always go, “Hey Tyler, uh could you do …” So I usually love it when I get called Logan.

Mike Domitrz: Okay. And I know when I’ve been communicating with you, we’ve communicated many times outside the show, I’ve always just said Logan. But I didn’t want to assume.

Logan Nelson: Yeah, you’re good, you are by far a very awesome, amazing human being by calling me Logan.

Mike Domitrz: I appreciate that. So I love that you’re doing the show. Tell us a little bit your show, it’s called Scratch Your Own Itch.

Logan Nelson: Yeah man. So, my show kind of started about going on a year and a half, and it started out on just … I don’t know, I kind of call it like my own self diagnosis for therapy. Because after I got out of college, I graduated with a degree in acting, and while I was in school I was listening to a lot of podcasts, like I really loved podcasts. It was just a way to learn while I was working out, or maybe a way to learn about interviewers and I just love listening to interviews with actors. And I would go to work out, and while I was working out I would go, “Oh man. That’d be so cool to interview that guy,” or, “That’d be so cool to interview that person.”

Logan Nelson: Then I graduated college and a few months rolled by and I had an identity crisis. I sort of like thought like, I was meant to be an actor. Like Logan Tyler Nelson was supposed to be an actor. And nothing happened. I wasn’t really happy with it, I was kind of like living a lie, I was doing it just by pride. And it was sheer hard work and it wasn’t really like, making me happy at all, and it wasn’t really my passion one bit. And people kept saying like, “Hey you only live once.” I got off work one night at a restaurant that I worked at and I had this like, single thought about I don’t know if this world’s gonna really give me the thing I want from it. And it really scared the heck out of me. It lead me into trying to kill myself and so I walked up a three story building, looked down from the ledge and I just thought this was an easy way to just get it done and over with. I really wanted out of this world.

Logan Nelson: And so I tried killing myself, and from that I ended up living through that fall and went back home. I just bruised my right leg pretty bad, like messed up my knee, messed up my ankle. So my right side was just a little messed up, and then my neck was a little sore, nothing too bad. But then I thought okay, I gotta figure out a way to do this where maybe it doesn’t look like it was a suicide, maybe it looks like an accident. So I started listening to podcasts as a way to maybe like get an idea about it, a way that I could kill myself and it looks accidental.

Mike Domitrz: So what kind of a podcast, are you listening to like Serial or the podcast about like, murders and death? You know, ’cause there are podcasts on that. Is that what were listening to?

Logan Nelson: I actually typed in suicide attempt into the podcast iTunes. And there was a couple of podcasters that came up, like ADHD, there was a story on one that was from the ADHD one and it was a girl who talked about how she was trying to kill herself after a failed marriage by getting into a car and just making it look like it was an accident. And she’d just lost her job at this point, and I heard that and it gave me just sort of like an idea of like you know, this is just a hump I’m going through.

Logan Nelson: So I started thinking of an idea like maybe other people are also having these suicidal thoughts, like really successful people. Like businessmen, other entrepreneurs, ’cause I was just listening to entrepreneur podcasts. ‘Cause these people on these entrepreneur podcasts would get so vulnerable and just so real with people on the interview. And I go, “This is great medicine for anyone who’s going through this stuff. I don’t want to go back to therapy ’cause I don’t have a job. I also don’t want to go back to therapy because I’m really scared of what they’ll do to me, or say to me because I just tried to commit suicide.”

Logan Nelson: So I started interviewing people and I wanted to talk about the harder things that we think about a lot, but we don’t really talk about. So I interview people that I just had one single little thing that would make them knowledgeable for the show. They had to just have a story about either some sort of eating binge that they had to fight through, some sort of depression, some sort of suicidal thoughts, some sort of … I even had people that had bipolar on, that were going through manic depression. I mean you name it, the scary stuff that we just don’t really like to talk about as a society, because we don’t fully understand it.

Mike Domitrz: I wanna pause, if that’s alright. Just to take a breath, ’cause it’s so powerful what you’re sharing. At what was the point that switched you from trying to find a way to end it, ’cause you were listening to podcasts to do that, to helping by getting this podcast together. What was the … Did something happen? Did a moment trigger that that said I’m gonna switch from listening to how to, to create a space where people can discuss this? ‘Cause I get that you shared how you went from there, the fact that you went from learning how to, to I wonder if there’s other people thinking what I’m thinking, I’m gonna create a podcast for that. But where did the healthy shift come, that left you from wanting to take your life?

Logan Nelson: The healthy shift came from [inaudible 00:07:01] just the extreme curiosity of just what people do with their days. The extreme curiosity of how people handle certain relationships within business. That did definitely save me. And also the peer attachment to like, hey, I gotta make a good podcast with these people. I gotta cultivate a relationship, even though I’m not in front of them, they live you know, remotely in California or they live somewhere else and I’m in Springfield, Illinois. I have to find a way to do what I can, give it as much as I can by sending them you know, little messages of appreciation. By sending them little gifts through Amazon every now and then. By just you know, just being a nice person. If I saw something on Facebook that they were recently excited about, I would make sure that I wrote them a letter.

Logan Nelson: And so just doing that, like the ability of just, it’s not about you. That quote. And really living by that. That really did shift a lot of things for me. I hope that answered your question.

Mike Domitrz: No it does. And for those listening, please know this, because Logan and I have only met virtually through Facebook and other things. But you do that, you send me messages when you love an episode, I get a message about how much you loved the episode. And you know as a host how rare that is, and so it means a lot. Like a lot of people listening think, oh, you have a podcast, you hear from listeners all the time. Actually it’s pretty rare when you talk to podcast people that you actively get to hear from listeners. So, it means the world when you do, and you’re very proactive about it. When you listen to something you like you really let me know, and I really appreciate that so thank you for being that person in people’s lives.

Logan Nelson: Thank you man. Thank you. I just think that’s the number one habit that anyone can do. For anybody that’s out there creating something, I mean they’re not doing it for the recognition, but it is a heck of a huge awesome virtual hug that you can receive from somebody when they do take, and it only takes five minutes. When they just take five minutes to just say, “Hey, I listened to this. Really thought, you know, XYZ was cool about this episode.” Or, “Hey, I saw that you’ve made this post on Facebook, I really thought that this was cool.” Because when you message too with somebody, and you really digest what they’re trying to put out there in the world, you … I mean that’s the best gift that you can possibly get you know? It’s like, that’s part of the five love languages, and we could go into that but you know, that’s a great book by Don Ruiz Miguel I think he last name is. And just talking about how humans can love each other, you know?

Logan Nelson: And your show is respect, it’s the same thing, it kind of ties into one another. To truly respect yourself, I mean let’s go into it man. I’d love to talk about that. To truly love yourself or love somebody else is all about respect, right?

Mike Domitrz: Yes, you have to be able to respect yourself to love yourself, that’s a contradiction when people say, “Oh, I love myself but I lack respect for myself.” Well, then what do you think love is? Like love requires like, unfiltered respect, right? Just the full respect of everything about you. You respect the beauty, the negative and the positive of you. You respect that that’s part of who you are as a human being. It all comes part of the package.

Logan Nelson: So what did you recently … I’m just curious like, what did you recently discover about the transformation of respect, since you started this show to where it is now?

Mike Domitrz: That’s a great question Logan. You know what, since starting the show I always find it interesting how people perceive respect. The different definitions they have, and yet the consistency in what keeps showing up. And the consistency is that everybody

Mike Domitrz: Seems to agree that some level it’s honoring someone for who they are. To truly respect you is to value you. Value, not try to change you, but value you. When I’m changing you you’re not good enough for me, and how can I feel respected at that? Now, if you’re trying to support me that’s different than trying to change me, and so I think it’s just the concept of truly feeling valued in yourself, so self-respect would mean valuing yourself, truly valuing yourself. Respect in others means I value you, and I love the whole package not just parts. I don’t just say, “Well, I only like that part of Mike,” well, then you don’t like Mike because Mike’s the whole package, so I think that’s been the big transformation, or the big learning point for me.

Logan Nelson: When you save value too, I think there’s a distance between mentally valuing something and physically valuing something like physical value, to me, is something that is involuntary, you have no control over that thing. An example would be physically I am valuing my health because why? I have to, if I don’t workout for a day I just feel bad. It’s weird, when I workout even though there’s a little bit of work I get a reward from it by feeling great.

Logan Nelson: Then, there’s a mental value that’s really, I think, the real work that comes in is being able to believe in something that’s yet not there, and that’s really hard for a lot of people to swallow. For example, maybe a mental value could be I really want to have this thing on my gravestone, I really want to be able to have the ability to be the best part of someone’s day, so what does that really mean? Oh, that means that I have to take at least two or three hours of my day and be super selfless, even though inside my head I have all these other things I got to do for myself. That’s, I think, a hard thing for a lot of people to swallow as far as values goes because life is tough. There’s so many things that you just have to do because you’re in certain situations.

Logan Nelson: I don’t know everyone’s life that’s listening to this, but I know for me personally it’s hard to take care of yourself. It really is. Then, if you’re trying to take care of anyone else that’s even harder, but if that’s one of your values as far as respect goes then you have to be able to put yourself in the second row in order to put others in the front row, and actually taking data, I think, that’s why I write a lot. I write a ton just little notes like maybe I just write at the end of the day how much time I spent with other people, and what I did with them. Or, I take data of at least sending five messages to people about something that they’re doing that I think is really cool.

Mike Domitrz: I’m going to pause there because I think you bring up something really important, and it’s a discussion on valuing ourselves, which is I don’t have to be in the second row, we can all be in the front row together, and that the danger for some people, I’m not saying in your case, but for some people when they hear the language, “Hey, I’m gonna put myself in the second row, so they can be in the front row,” it’s actually really cool when we can all be in the front row. I’m gonna sit in the front row, but I’m bringing you to the front with me. The danger that some people will hear sometimes if they hear, “Oh, I need to put myself in the second row, so they can be in the front row,” and they make other people more important than their value versus equal to their value, and so then they’re manipulated, they’re controlled, they’re in unhealthy relationships because they believe I should be in the second row, they should be in the front row instead of we should all be celebrating in the front row together. Does that make sense?

Logan Nelson: It does, it does, it does, it does, it does. I guess, that’s almost going into a little argument that I think that I want to get into is do you believe that there should be so many trophies out there? We have kids now getting trophies just for trying, and there’s also a belief out there that the word best can actually have multiples. I don’t know if I believe in that so much. I do believe that it’s okay to be in the second row actually, it’s okay to be behind the scenes.

Mike Domitrz: Oh, yeah, and we’re not disagreeing there. There’s no way we’re always going to be winning everything in life. What I’m referring to is if I’m going to choose whether I can sit in the front row or the second row, or whether you’re going to sit in the second, or the front row I want both of us in the front row. That doesn’t mean we’re winning over someone else that means that we’re both of equal value, that I don’t put myself second to you. That we can both be on this journey in the same position because it’s not about winning. Life’s not about the beginning you life’s being on the journey with you, and so for us to be on the journey together, walking together in the front doesn’t mean someone loses, and doesn’t mean somebody wins. I don’t win over you, we’re having this experience and this journey together.

Logan Nelson: I got you my friend, that makes sense. I actually know for a fact that I think that loneliness is not hard to because well, you’re alone, but it’s really hard because when you do have success, and you don’t have someone to share it with oh man, it’s the worst. Mike, have you ever had that where you had the success, maybe you were growing up, you worked really hard on something, maybe it was a good grade on a test, or maybe you won a game, or something like that, and then all of a sudden you realize when you looked around left, and you looked around to your right there’s no one to really share that success with. That’s why your net worth is really your network, but to not just the money that’s in your bank, but more so this the people you can share any success that you do have with any endeavor.

Mike Domitrz: Well, I’ll give you a great example of that. A great example of that is when you travel. In my line of work, I speak all over the world, and so people go, “Wow, you get to travel the world. That must be amazing!” I say, “Well, it’s interesting.” I love what I get to do, so the travel’s like the car ride to work. I love getting to share my message all over the world. What they’re referring to is oh, all the things you get to see and experience travelling the world, which can be unbelievably amazing, and depressingly lonely. That’s what people don’t get.

Mike Domitrz: If I’m speaking in South Korea, and I’m speaking Monday through Friday, and I’m going to speak again on Monday, and I have the weekend to explore South Korea it’s weird when you’re having … like I’ve been literally on a mountain top on an edge of a cliff sitting up there, and you’re like, “Ah, I want Karen here with me,” my wife. “Or, I want my kids here with me. It’s a very different feeling to be there alone. Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t take wonder from that moment. I think that’s something that you learn.

Mike Domitrz: I used to think, “Oh, it’s not the same if they’re not here,” that’s a true statement, it’s not the same, so take it for what it is a my moment, and what this is for me. I think that becomes an important lesson for us is when we don’t have the people there that we’re hoping they’re there then we still need to appreciate it for what it is in our life in that moment.

Mike Domitrz: You’re right, it’s difficult at times. I coached a swim team, a high school swim team, and they won the state title, and no one from my family was able to attend. Now, at the time, my wife was pregnant, so there’s a legitimate reason she could not [inaudible 00:19:04]. Literally, it was due, and we were too far away from our hometown for her to be able to travel. The doctor said, “Nope, can’t happen.” Due to some other circumstances where my other family members were that same weekend they had to be at, so it’s not against anyone. I remember looking up the stands and seeing all the swimmers’ families, and these were people that were friends of mine, and wonderful, but my family there was no one there. There was a little bit of, “Ooh,” there’s like this little wind that came down.

Mike Domitrz: Now, you pick it back up and go, “Okay, we’re excited for the boys, we’re excited for the team, we’re excited for the parents,” but for one split second it is a weird feeling when your family are not there in those moments. It can be tough, but once again it’s taking it for what it is at that moment, and what it can be for you, it can still be wonderful and beautiful.

Logan Nelson: Yeah man, wow. That’s huge. Just knowing that too, I study a lot of psychology and one thing I’ve realized lately is that we have a huge need for dopamine spikes, and little shots of dopamine. Oftentimes, these dopamine spikes actually go off when we’re with people that we like to be around, and that’s a little secret that people don’t tell you when you’re trying to do the speaking world, or trying to do the acting thing, which are two very similar jobs actually.

Mike Domitrz: Logan, what you don’t know is that that’s the background I originally came from. I was studying theater in Chicago in college. Now, I know you’re from Illinois, so I’m curious because you brought it up earlier where you in college in Chicago, is that where you were doing theater?

Logan Nelson: No, Northern Illinois University.

Mike Domitrz: You were in northern Illinois. All right, okay. Very cool. [inaudible 00:20:57], yes?

Logan Nelson: Yup. Dude, where did you go? Did you go to UIC?

Mike Domitrz: I started at Loyola in theater.

Logan Nelson: Nice.

Mike Domitrz: Now, I did not finish there. I ended up going, and I’ve told this story before, but I ended up transferring back home to the local university in Wisconsin during the trial of the person who sexually assaulted my sister-in-law because I wanted to be near home. I did not end up graduating from Loyola, but I have wonderful memories of all that I learned at Loyola, and the friendships, and the guidance in the theater department, so great experience. [crosstalk 00:21:31].

Logan Nelson: Can we do an impression off?

Mike Domitrz: You’re gonna crush me because I know you do impressions, and you know what’s funny back when you’re doing theater you do challenge each other that way, but it’s been 30 years since I’ve had to do an impression. There were only a couple I even did back then, but I know you do them, so you would rock it.

Mike Domitrz: What’s your best impression?

Logan Nelson: First one that comes in my head is probably Adam Sandler when he was doing his little Adam Sandler, “Hey guys, you know,

Logan Nelson: I’m doing this new movie with Kevin James. Kevin’s something because he has this way of never actually eating carbs. He only eats protein, that’s one I knew, but I could also be the voice of God if you want me to with Morgan Freeman.

Mike Domitrz: That’s do a quick one, let’s do a 10/15 second voice of God of Morgan Freeman.

Logan Nelson: My name is Morgan, Morgan Freeman and when I thought a star is born, when I pee a baby gets his legs.

Mike Domitrz: So are you still doing theater, or has the podcast taken?

Logan Nelson: No I don’t do any theater right now unfortunately. It just doesn’t pay enough, not that I’m trying too hard at it because it’s obviously something that I can put more effort into. By moving to Chicago or moving out to LA, New York’s a great hub to make a living in theater, but I just needed to take care of myself and my father right now. So I’m not pursuing theater at the moment. I work down the street, and this is a cool thing we can talk about is having a business as a side hustle on the side while also working in some sort of full time job or part-time job.

Mike Domitrz: Yeah let’s go there because in my case my mission and passion is at a place where this is what I’ve done full time for 20 some years, but there is a place where people go through a transition where it’s a side work. So for you your business is a side business while you’re working full time, so how do you find the integration of time? I don’t call it balance because there’s no such thing as true balance because everything’s gonna have different priorities at different points. So how do you integrate that and manage it all?

Logan Nelson: I think it’s really important for someone to go hey is there something that I really love to do that’s part-time? So for me I really love serving tables part-time, so I work down the street at Cooper’s Hawk it’s full functioning winery, we make all of our own wines there. They make 100% of their food from scratch, so it’s a great place for me to just get out of the house and meet people, and talk to people. Have face to face conversations, because a lot of people are doing side hustles where it’s mainly just on the internet. That can get really lonely if you don’t have a family to take care of, or if you just have on person to take care of. Maybe you’re just a single guy, or a single gal in that case, and you do wanna build a business on the side, but you don’t really think what kind of business you can make.

Logan Nelson: So I thought about what if I just connected dream guest to podcast. Like people that really want a Rock Thomas on their show, or maybe they want another influencer on their show, I would love to connect and work for that person and connect them to other podcasts, so they can make great content together. So that’s what I do on my side, when I’m off hours, and I’m not working at my restaurant job. I just message people that have podcasts and go hey what’s a dream guest that you’d love to have on your show, or whose somebody that you’ve had on your show that you’d like to have more of on your show. So I build that on the side, just for one to two hours a day. I don’t spend my whole day doing that, but that’s something that I do.

Mike Domitrz: I know that’s your agency, so whose the biggest get you’ve gotten for something else?

Logan Nelson: Probably Rock Thomas so far. I mean Rod Thomas is someone that has a Globe Cast whose gone viral on it. He’s a multimillionaire, he’s sold over billions of dollars worth of real estate, he’s one of those people that’s probably not a celebrity that a lot of people hear about just walking down the street, but he’s someone certainly that is very successful when it comes to financial talk. Yeah he’s one of my clients, but for sure there’s other people that I’ve gotten a hold of.

Mike Domitrz: I’m just curious about [inaudible 00:26:29], just a fun little question, Logan this has been awesome. I wanna make sure our listeners know how to get a hold of you, it’s LoganTylerNelson.com is the website. Thank you so much for joining us today.

Logan Nelson: Thank you so much, anyone who listens to this please hit that subscribe button too for Mike. I know he will appreciate it and just also let’s have technology work for you instead of against you. When you hit that subscribe button you’ll get updated on a new episode that rolls out for him. Hit the subscribe and the five star, because he’s got this crazy amazing show about one of the things that we just don’t really know how to do all the time. That is to respect yourself and respect others.

Mike Domitrz: Thank you Logan, I love that. For listeners to know subscribing does make a huge difference in getting rankings and people finding us, and it automates everything for you. So you never have to look up the show, it just comes into your podcast app on your phone or wherever you listen to podcasts. It will always be there, so you can get the next episode. A lot of times you’ll go I love that podcast, then they forget that there’s another one next week. Subscribing takes care of that for you, and get you that next one automatically. Logan thank you so much for that, and for joining us today.

Logan Nelson: Yeah, my pleasure, thank you Mike.

Mike Domitrz: Absolutely, and for our listeners know that’s what’s coming up next is the question of the week.

Mike Domitrz: Before I answer this week’s question of the week I’d love to ask you a question. Would you please subscribe to this podcast, the Respect Podcast with Mike Domitrz? By subscribing, you can make a huge impact, now you might be wondering Mike how does my subscribing to your podcast make a huge impact? Well here’s how, for every person that subscribes it raises the rankings of the show on the search engines. So for people who care about Respect like yourself, when they’re doing a search for podcast they’re more likely to find the show. Thus providing an awesome opportunity for us to spread more respect around this world. All you do is hit subscribe under your podcasts, plus the second benefit is by subscribing you automatically get every episode right into your phone or whatever device you are listening to the podcast on. It happens automatically, so subscribing also makes your life easier.

Mike Domitrz: Now let’s get into this week’s question of the week, and by the way you can always ask your questions of the week by joining us on Facebook in our discussion group, it’s called the Respect Podcast Discussion Group. Go there on Facebook and ask whatever questions you would like me to answer, and/or address in this segment of the show. Then listen to each episode to find out when your question is included. This week’s question of the week is Mike, what is the most unique event/show/experience you’ve ever been to? I got to go to one of the last showings of a production called In and of Itself. Truly remarkable, truly dumbfounding, you’re sitting there going how is this happening?

Mike Domitrz: I invite you to look it up, to learn about it, because it would be a whole show In and of Itself, but I was there on the Friday and the final showing was Sunday in New York. It had run for three years, so I was fortunate that I was able to get in there. In and of Itself, truly powerful and unique, because you’re sitting there being led by story. By an incredible performance all by one person, also dumbfounded by how things were happening. It was like magic, illusion, but you didn’t feel like that, you felt like you were on a journey. You were thinking about where the journey was taking you, truly profound. I’m grateful for the friends who told me you have to see this. So somebody tells you that you have to see it, and enough people tell you do it. I don’t think you ever regret those experiences.

Mike Domitrz: Do you know what I would love? I would love to hear your answer to this week’s question of the week. So would you please answer what your answer would have been if you were asked that question today on the show? All you do is go to our Facebook page, we have a special group where we have these discussions called the Respect Podcast Discussion Group. So the Respect Podcast Discussion Group and share with us what would your answer of been to this week’s question of the week, and take a moment post us a new question for future episodes. What question would you like to hear me answer on an upcoming episode. That’s all done on Facebook in our special group, which is the Respect Podcast Discussion Group. Can’t wait to see you there.

Mike Domitrz: Thank you for joining us for this episode of the Respect Podcast, which was sponsored by the Date Safe Project at DateSafePorject.org. Remember you can always find me at MikeSpeaks.com.

 

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